<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->i get the idea of "enjoy your youthful years while you can" but whats the point of that if you cant be with someone to share that time, not just friends, but as more than that<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You've got the rest of your life to share with someone. Trust me - <b>enjoy the freedom while you can!!!</b> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Seriously though - while relationships are certainly a good thing, they aren't an essential part of a person's young life.
You're 18 years old, and probably looking into heading to college (or already there). The opinion of many is that, at this point in your life, education should take priority over a relationship. Sure, it'd be great to have a gf while in school, but it really shouldn't be a critical factor of your life at this point in time.
This point in your life is all about <i>you</i>. <i>You</i> choose what you want to study in school, <i>you</i> decide if you can work while studying, and <i>you</i> decide if you want a gf. However, you life will probably be hectic enough with exams, papers, and a work schedule.
Just remember that some things are simply more important to get now, which you may not have an opportunity to get later. You've got the rest of your life to spend with someone, so there's really no hurry. A person's ability to love doesn't have an expiration date, after all. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
if i ever find a women who is not (female dogy) about every thing. if i ever find a women who is sweat and innocent if i ever find a women who is not in a relationship with the stupidist guys on the planet if i ever find a women who is actually smart if i ever find a women who can be my best friend
i would find my love
then it hit me one day, no such women exist..... end of story
i may die alone, but i am not going to go with someone i hate
<!--QuoteBegin--CrouchingHamster,HiddenElvis+Apr 16 2003, 05:28 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CrouchingHamster,HiddenElvis @ Apr 16 2003, 05:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--CForrester+Apr 16 2003, 08:55 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CForrester @ Apr 16 2003, 08:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Looks mean nothing to girls that are worth getting into a relationship with. Unless the girl would love you for your personality, even if you're terribly deformed or whatever, she isn't worth it. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Sorry, not true.
Unless she finds you attractive , no relationship, just how it is.
At least, not the kind of relationship you are thinking of.
Sounds harsh, but think it through..supposing you meet the nicest girl in the world, but she's a complete piglet, are you still interested?
No, thought not...
It's not shallow, it's just human nature.
The good news however, is that some women find the weirdest things attractive..they aint all into pretty boys y'know.. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Tell that to <i>my</i> girlfriend. I'm not exactly good looking, but she still loves me for who I am.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->if i ever find a women who is not (female dogy) about every thing. if i ever find a women who is sweat and innocent if i ever find a women who is not in a relationship with the stupidist guys on the planet if i ever find a women who is actually smart if i ever find a women who can be my best friend <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Trust me, they ALL seem like they are nice/innocent/smart/friendly....until you talk to them <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
As I found out, the girl I thought was nice and innocent was actually running around kissing strangers! Ok, ok, im overblowing it....but....darnit I want a kiss!
It could be that you might be subconciously homosexual? You might not be giving off the right body language to show that you're attracted to women. Your pupils are meant to dilate to show that you fancy a girl, maybe this is not happening, so the girl doesn't know that you fancy her??
This is actually common in lots of guys who haven't yet discovered their true sexuality. I have some websites and links if you're interested.
Otherwise, I could be completely and utterly wrong, so help me God.
ThansalThe New ScumJoin Date: 2002-08-22Member: 1215Members, Constellation
hehe, lol
I get back from therapy (depresion that I aint gona go into, cus I don't kno and thats why I am going <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
ok, lets see, I am 20 (S*** I am 20, gah, sorry my Bday was the first, it is sorta creepy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->) I have been in a good relationship with the girl I consider my best freind for over 2 years now. I have 'dated' about 3 other girls before this. I am not physicaly atractive (cute and sorta pudgy is normaly the way I get described, yes there are pleanty of girls who go for pudg <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
My GF and I were good friends for along time, we became very good friends after a year or so (she is one year behind me and so we met my 2nd year in HS). We started dating when we she finaly got up the guts to ask me out my senior year (we both had crushes on each other for much longer, we just are sorta silly and have no backbones <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->).
We have both ups and downs (she has to deal with my depression so it is very hard for her).
Ok, that was all just to say where I am comming from. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
As for advice, you seem to be a likeable guy (you have friends, you have female firends etc).
Some one else said that you seem to have self estiem issues, and he sounds sorta right. Alot of the advice people are putting up is good, be your self, stay calm etc etc etc.
But you know what, it is hard to do that. I know (I have low self estiem also). The best thing to do is honestly not to think about going out with them or what not. Just talk, If you have met them you hopefuly have something in comn (how you met) so you have something to talk about.
Also, not having a GF is not that bad. I was good before I had a GF, I am good with my GF. I know many many people who don't have respective others and they are cool with it.
I also know a few people who are so obsesive over it that it is pathetic and annoying. They make females they know get creaped out (wich I know you can avoide doing cus you have female friends).
However, if this is really bothering you I would personaly suggest thinking about getting profesional help (I know the idea is an unpleasant oone, trust me I don't like going to therapy, but I do it b/c I know I need to). Think about **** this way. Wy all have these ideas and knowledges, there are MILLIONS of teenage guys with probs like yours. And you think some one hasn't gotten good at cashing in on this yet? That is what you could get from therapy, help on calming down etc <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
oh and on a side note, TenSix, don't shut off your emotions, it leads to VERY bad stuff. Trust me there is a reason why I am therapy and going to be going on antidepresants. Though I don't know if my therapist is right, her running theroy is that lot of my depression is from botteling all of my emotions away, I was very good at it and now I am dealing with the consequences.
Acne is my scourge. THe medicine costs way too much, but I found that dove unscented helps, as well as dry shaving and a healthy diet. All I eat is cheerios and kellogs special k re berries, with some oj for the vitamin C, except on the weekends when for like one meal I eat some meat for protein. Other than the fact that I am a little chubby (I have a beer belly, it will never go away it seems, thats the worst part), I do have a nice tan. Im a little weird though, but I act the way I feel, who wants to be normal anyway? <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
I could get more women if I tried, but Im a little bit of a socialphobic person, and I would go and see a doctor, but I am poor, so I drink a little to loosen myself up (not sloppy drunk, just a few beers to take the edge off). All in all I just have a good time and if I end up with someone then its a bonus.
Oh, good way to lose weight, be in the ICU for 2 weeks, I dint eat for 4 days straight, lost 20 lbs ( iwouldn't reccomed it though, its really unpleasent) <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
but yah, be your self <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (I am over weight, though not to bad, don't dress well, a gammer, and a through and through freak <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
I didnt need that kidney anyway, it was just extra space being took up, now I can grow an extra bladder or something so I wont have to pee as often <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
Stopping your intake of dairy products improves your acne, that includes cheese, ice-cream, milk chocolate, etc etc. You can usually find soya substitutes which don't taste any different. It really works! (I should know)
I don't think the problem is to do with the original poster's self esteem, afterall, he doesn't believe himself to be ugly or anything. Maybe he just has to focus on something else like so many other people have said already.
Summer is the worse time, it's mating season, and your hormones are telling you to breed, and yet you can't.. blah, blah.. Focus your energies into maybe learning to play the electric guitar, join a rock & roll band, and have all the girlies loving you for it.
AllUrHiveRblong2usBy Your Powers Combined...Join Date: 2002-12-20Member: 11244Members
The one thing that strikes me here is that nearly all of the posts previous to this (Unless I'm reading them all wrong, which I wouldn't put past myself) are written on the assumption that if one gets a chance with a girl, one can take the next step and initiate something. Now, even I can tell you that getting a girl is not a big leap. There are a great many fish in the sea, as they say, and if you don't keep your standards too high like a selfish ****, personality, ANY personality, will win the day.
That being said, I must move on to the fact that personally, nearly every single girl I know scares the living bejesus out of me. They are all too confusing, beautiful, and (most of them) too intelligent to make sense. Whenever I think of girls, I always think of my first (and so far only) girlfriend. I had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her out for a good long time, but I never could. Finally one of her friends who had guessed at my intentions (literally) twisted my arm into asking this girl out. I could never bring myself to go anywhere near her. Every time we got alone, and I felt that perhaps I should do something, the thought would immediately flash into my mind that what I was doing had no chance of working, and I would get into a very heated argument with myself until the moment was past, and I was left where I started. I recall one instance where I tried to reach out to her, and found to my suprise that my hand could not move. I simply carried on small talk like nothing was happening, all the while trying to life my hand and perform some sort of intimate act. Needless to say, this did not go well. After only dating her for a few weeks, she dumped me, giving me a classic "just be friends"speach. That was months ago, and my feelings for her remain. Every time I see her I can feel my inner workings tearing themselves apart.
It's not as if I didn't try to move on, I tried very hard. a bit after that I managed to find a girl that was attracted to me for some reason, she had no trouble making the first move, but just like before, she scared me completely, and I could never bring myself to return her affections. She has since moved on, and I cannot blame her. I am an absolute coward sometimes, so I never get anywhere. It sucks.
Why I'm telling you people this, I shall never be sure.
<!--QuoteBegin--Spooge+Apr 16 2003, 07:14 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Spooge @ Apr 16 2003, 07:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Stop trying to be who you think they want you to be and just BE. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Amen.
Anyone interested in finding out more about this philosophy of life should read "The Tao of Pooh", and if you enjoy that, "The Te of Piglet". Two extremely good books which describe the concepts of Taoism using the characters from Winnie the Pooh (the original books, not the Disney make-over).
<edit> I'm not sure how easy it is to get to this state, mind. You have to be comfortable with yourself first, which takes a lot of thinking. Just remember that things probably aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are (and if you think they're really bad, that'll probably just make it even worse). Recognise your problems, your insecurities, accept them, and then work a way around them (or try and find a way to overcome them).
SpoogeThunderbolt missile in your cheeriosJoin Date: 2002-01-25Member: 67Members
"Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly Ask me a riddle and I reply Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie."
Of course, that's from memory <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> I gave my copy away to someone who really needed it <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Why I'm telling you people this, I shall never be sure. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yay for the feeling of anomynousity (sp? right word even?) of posting on the forum. Since you will never probably see these people anyway (or if you do, you won't know it) you feel like you can post openly about anything (well there are limits).
I vote with just be yourself. I know it may not work, but if it does then what, your something you don't want to be and it just makes things worse. What is funny, I tried to be something I wasn't, and I did it for two whole years. Now that Im free, Ive never been happier. I can act the way I want to, dress the way I want to, and do whatever I want to. Now I hang out with my friends, focus on my studies, and am even talking to somebody I like better than my ex. My ex had some crazy notion to try and change my beliefs too, but I never let her do that. In the end I found out what she was really like, she had no idea what she wanted in life, but apparently it wasn't me (she cheated on me, some christian she turned out to be, hell im a better christian then her, and Im an atheist).
Yeah, I was depressed for a few days, but then I stopped feeling sorry for myself and went out, got hammered, sang loud in a bar, and talked to people I havent seen since I graduated. I even danced with some girls too (i think Im a better dancer/singer when im drunk/alone, its a funny/abnormal sight, because I dont say/do anything when Im sober)
<!--QuoteBegin--Merkaba+Apr 17 2003, 06:16 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Merkaba @ Apr 17 2003, 06:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Spooge+Apr 16 2003, 07:14 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Spooge @ Apr 16 2003, 07:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Stop trying to be who you think they want you to be and just BE. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Amen.
Anyone interested in finding out more about this philosophy of life should read "The Tao of Pooh", and if you enjoy that, "The Te of Piglet". Two extremely good books which describe the concepts of Taoism using the characters from Winnie the Pooh (the original books, not the Disney make-over).
<edit> I'm not sure how easy it is to get to this state, mind. You have to be comfortable with yourself first, which takes a lot of thinking. Just remember that things probably aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are (and if you think they're really bad, that'll probably just make it even worse). Recognise your problems, your insecurities, accept them, and then work a way around them (or try and find a way to overcome them). <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> "The Art of Happiness" is also a good book. Simple. Just like life. Written by one of the Dali Lamas.
<i>"Life isn't complicated, it is we who choose to complicate things."</i>
Not a quote from the book, it's my quote. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
EDiT: Merkaba, did you continue to follow Taoism or where you interested in the philisophical aspects of Taoism? Hve you ever heard of a man named Krishnamurti or David Bohm?
<!--QuoteBegin--Merkaba+Apr 17 2003, 06:16 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Merkaba @ Apr 17 2003, 06:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <edit> I'm not sure how easy it is to get to this state, mind. You have to be comfortable with yourself first, which takes a lot of thinking. Just remember that things probably aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are (and if you think they're really bad, that'll probably just make it even worse). Recognise your problems, your insecurities, accept them, and then work a way around them (or try and find a way to overcome them). <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->When there is the activity of the self, meditation is not possible. This is very important to understand, not verbally but actually. Meditation is a process of emptying the mind of all the activity of the self, of all the activity of the 'me'. If you do not understand the activity of the self, then your meditation only leads to illusion, your meditation then only leads to self-deception, your meditation then will only lead to further distortion. So to understand what meditation is, you must understand the activity of the self.
The self has had a thousand worldly, sensuous, or intellectual experiences, but it is bored with them because they have no meaning. The desire to have wider, more expansive, transcendental experiences is part of the 'me'.
J. Krishnamurti - <i>This Light in Oneself, p 72</i><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I didn't read all the posts, but never do anything because of depression you can't undo, i did and now i always remember the time i were depressed <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->
At the wise old age of 18... I have vast experience with women... erm... girls... ;-) but you're my age...
Get long hair, and take good care of it with shampoo, conditioner. I used to have lots of girl friends, but no girlfriends. Then, I got long hair and the ladies went crazy. :-) Also... about the same time I grew my hair out I stopped trying to act 'cool' around girls and just was myself. But the hair certainly helps :-D
Another thing- make sure your intentions are clear from the start by flirting. But, at the same time, if the girl seems to resist, make sure she knows you're only playing around and that you want to be a friend first, and anything else is just 'extra'. Not only will you abort the plan and save your esteem, you'll look like a 'nice guy' and further your chances probably.
Hang in there. Everyone goes through their akward stage. I didn't start growing until about the summer between Jr and Sophomore year, so there was a serious girl drought. And then, the first girl I went out with was a hardcore catholic... not cool. :-P I'm catholic, so I can make fun her.
Just hang in there and remeber:
Plastic baggie + lubriderm. Let sit under electric blanket for 1 minute. Enjoy. (I'm thinking that's gonna get nuked... cmon admins, have some fun! )
ThansalThe New ScumJoin Date: 2002-08-22Member: 1215Members, Constellation
MY GOD JAMMER IS ME!!!!
hehe, couldn't help it (even his sense of humour is as bad as mine <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> though you do have a good point <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
The one problem with waht you said is that many people are not like that/don't know the type of peole who acept that
yes, I am a horrible flirt (even when I have a GF) simply b/c I spend most of my time playing aorund with girls (and i meen that in the most unsexual manner I can)
but yah, if you REALLY fell you need a GF here are some things that CAN help:
Long Well kept hair (won't work for some guys, just cuss) know how to give good back rubs <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (you can read a book if you want, or find some one who does know and have them teach you some basics) You are probably going to college next year: 1) keep your room clean for the love of god (note, I ignore this rule <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->) 2) learn to cook (pasta+ a few good sauces = wonders) if you can feed some one REAL food after subsisting on doorm food for a few weeks, they will love you <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> 3) have fun and be happy
honestly enugh that last one is the key <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
if you can be happy then you will be a much more pleasant person to be around.
People love being around me when I am awake and happy (unfortunatly not that common anymore <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->) Happienes is sorta contagious and if you are happy others around you will be happy and will want to be around you.
Yah I am wandering all over the map here. But yah.
good luck, and remember the entire off topic board is behind you <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (I am not sure if that is reasuring or really freaken creepy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
<!--QuoteBegin--Thansal+Apr 17 2003, 10:29 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Thansal @ Apr 17 2003, 10:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> must resist urges to spit out BAD pick up lines (all time fav: "nice shoes, want to ****?)
as a hint, don't use pick up lines...
ever. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Don't know if that's really true in all cases. I don't think you should say them with a "straigth face" but if you do it with a twinkle in your eye she might think it's funny. If you can get the girl to laugh with you then you have created a connection and broken the ice. Though I would never say "nice shoes..." since that is a bit offensive if the girl doesn't like that kind of jokes <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--MeepZero+Apr 18 2003, 11:47 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MeepZero @ Apr 18 2003, 11:47 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Allright, the thing that caught my attention here was the idea of flirting, any ideas on correct flirting and stuff like that? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> This is a very cheezy site, but contains lots of tips for getting women in bed..
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
Of course, I dont say these things, but some of my friends do, and seriously too, its funny to see them get shot down!
AllUrHiveRblong2usBy Your Powers Combined...Join Date: 2002-12-20Member: 11244Members
<!--QuoteBegin--Error404:+Apr 18 2003, 12:00 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Error404: @ Apr 18 2003, 12:00 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> This is a very cheezy site, but contains lots of tips for getting women in bed..
<a href='http://www.sosuave.com/' target='_blank'>http://www.sosuave.com/</a> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Wow. My faith in the male gender, and humankind on the whole has just dropped a few points from "waning" to "completely nonexistent". <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Get long hair, and take good care of it with shampoo, conditioner. I used to have lots of girl friends, but no girlfriends. Then, I got long hair and the ladies went crazy. :-) Also... about the same time I grew my hair out I stopped trying to act 'cool' around girls and just was myself. But the hair certainly helps :-D<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> I look like a girl with long hair. Looks like I lose again.
<!--QuoteBegin--Fantasmo+Apr 16 2003, 10:44 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Fantasmo @ Apr 16 2003, 10:44 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> See Ham I don't think this is an ugly guy with pretty girl issue.
He isn't depressed because he keeps getting shot down by pretty girls... he has shot himself down before he even approuches the pretty girl.
I think that might be the problem. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I agree m8, and I also agree with your assessment...I used to do the same thing myself..but I was more trying to point out that a relaxed, confident attitude ie this whole "being happy with yerself" thing, counts for a fair bit, and can produce spectacular results...
Seems to me the guys focusing FAR too much on women, and how well he gets on with them. He's not having much luck, this is further messing with his self esteem.
This in turn, makes him ( I am assuming , sorry if this is not the case ), more and more anxious about the whole women thing, and therefore more likely to be insecure and nervous around them.
Most women will find twitchy / nervous / over serious an unattractive quality, which will further reduce his success, he'll see this and get even more uncomfortable around them.
Vicious circle, y'know?
My original point stands, chill and all will be well.
Go about your day, hey you might not "get chicks", but your 18 fs!! You can expect to live another 60 years, and *sexism warning* college chicks are waaayyy more fun than high school chicks..<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
As a demonstration of this principle, I would suggest that guys <i>with</i> a girlfriend / fiancee/ wife usually get more interest from women ( I know I have )
Why?
Because you are not looking, therefore you are not <i>trying</i>, therefore you have the freedom to just be yourself, which is much more attractive to most women in my experience...
Comments
They arent scary. They are really nice. Some of them can be **** and some can rip out your heart and throw it away.
But most girls are really nice.
Try making friends. IF you a not popular wait till university, everyone gets laid.
You've got the rest of your life to share with someone. Trust me - <b>enjoy the freedom while you can!!!</b> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Seriously though - while relationships are certainly a good thing, they aren't an essential part of a person's young life.
You're 18 years old, and probably looking into heading to college (or already there). The opinion of many is that, at this point in your life, education should take priority over a relationship. Sure, it'd be great to have a gf while in school, but it really shouldn't be a critical factor of your life at this point in time.
This point in your life is all about <i>you</i>. <i>You</i> choose what you want to study in school, <i>you</i> decide if you can work while studying, and <i>you</i> decide if you want a gf. However, you life will probably be hectic enough with exams, papers, and a work schedule.
Just remember that some things are simply more important to get now, which you may not have an opportunity to get later. You've got the rest of your life to spend with someone, so there's really no hurry. A person's ability to love doesn't have an expiration date, after all. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
if i ever find a women who is not (female dogy) about every thing.
if i ever find a women who is sweat and innocent
if i ever find a women who is not in a relationship with the stupidist guys on the planet
if i ever find a women who is actually smart
if i ever find a women who can be my best friend
i would find my love
then it hit me one day, no such women exist..... end of story
i may die alone, but i am not going to go with someone i hate
Sorry, not true.
Unless she finds you attractive , no relationship, just how it is.
At least, not the kind of relationship you are thinking of.
Sounds harsh, but think it through..supposing you meet the nicest girl in the world, but she's a complete piglet, are you still interested?
No, thought not...
It's not shallow, it's just human nature.
The good news however, is that some women find the weirdest things attractive..they aint all into pretty boys y'know.. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Tell that to <i>my</i> girlfriend. I'm not exactly good looking, but she still loves me for who I am.
if i ever find a women who is sweat and innocent
if i ever find a women who is not in a relationship with the stupidist guys on the planet
if i ever find a women who is actually smart
if i ever find a women who can be my best friend <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Trust me, they ALL seem like they are nice/innocent/smart/friendly....until you talk to them <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
As I found out, the girl I thought was nice and innocent was actually running around kissing strangers! Ok, ok, im overblowing it....but....darnit I want a kiss!
This is actually common in lots of guys who haven't yet discovered their true sexuality. I have some websites and links if you're interested.
Otherwise, I could be completely and utterly wrong, so help me God.
I get back from therapy (depresion that I aint gona go into, cus I don't kno and thats why I am going <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
ok, lets see, I am 20 (S*** I am 20, gah, sorry my Bday was the first, it is sorta creepy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
I have been in a good relationship with the girl I consider my best freind for over 2 years now. I have 'dated' about 3 other girls before this.
I am not physicaly atractive (cute and sorta pudgy is normaly the way I get described, yes there are pleanty of girls who go for pudg <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
My GF and I were good friends for along time, we became very good friends after a year or so (she is one year behind me and so we met my 2nd year in HS). We started dating when we she finaly got up the guts to ask me out my senior year (we both had crushes on each other for much longer, we just are sorta silly and have no backbones <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->).
We have both ups and downs (she has to deal with my depression so it is very hard for her).
Ok, that was all just to say where I am comming from. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
As for advice, you seem to be a likeable guy (you have friends, you have female firends etc).
Some one else said that you seem to have self estiem issues, and he sounds sorta right. Alot of the advice people are putting up is good, be your self, stay calm etc etc etc.
But you know what, it is hard to do that. I know (I have low self estiem also).
The best thing to do is honestly not to think about going out with them or what not. Just talk, If you have met them you hopefuly have something in comn (how you met) so you have something to talk about.
Also, not having a GF is not that bad. I was good before I had a GF, I am good with my GF. I know many many people who don't have respective others and they are cool with it.
I also know a few people who are so obsesive over it that it is pathetic and annoying. They make females they know get creaped out (wich I know you can avoide doing cus you have female friends).
However, if this is really bothering you I would personaly suggest thinking about getting profesional help (I know the idea is an unpleasant oone, trust me I don't like going to therapy, but I do it b/c I know I need to). Think about **** this way. Wy all have these ideas and knowledges, there are MILLIONS of teenage guys with probs like yours. And you think some one hasn't gotten good at cashing in on this yet? That is what you could get from therapy, help on calming down etc <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
oh and on a side note, TenSix, don't shut off your emotions, it leads to VERY bad stuff. Trust me there is a reason why I am therapy and going to be going on antidepresants. Though I don't know if my therapist is right, her running theroy is that lot of my depression is from botteling all of my emotions away, I was very good at it and now I am dealing with the consequences.
I could get more women if I tried, but Im a little bit of a socialphobic person, and I would go and see a doctor, but I am poor, so I drink a little to loosen myself up (not sloppy drunk, just a few beers to take the edge off). All in all I just have a good time and if I end up with someone then its a bonus.
Oh, good way to lose weight, be in the ICU for 2 weeks, I dint eat for 4 days straight, lost 20 lbs ( iwouldn't reccomed it though, its really unpleasent) <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
but yah, be your self <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (I am over weight, though not to bad, don't dress well, a gammer, and a through and through freak <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
I don't think the problem is to do with the original poster's self esteem, afterall, he doesn't believe himself to be ugly or anything. Maybe he just has to focus on something else like so many other people have said already.
Summer is the worse time, it's mating season, and your hormones are telling you to breed, and yet you can't.. blah, blah.. Focus your energies into maybe learning to play the electric guitar, join a rock & roll band, and have all the girlies loving you for it.
That being said, I must move on to the fact that personally, nearly every single girl I know scares the living bejesus out of me. They are all too confusing, beautiful, and (most of them) too intelligent to make sense. Whenever I think of girls, I always think of my first (and so far only) girlfriend. I had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her out for a good long time, but I never could. Finally one of her friends who had guessed at my intentions (literally) twisted my arm into asking this girl out. I could never bring myself to go anywhere near her. Every time we got alone, and I felt that perhaps I should do something, the thought would immediately flash into my mind that what I was doing had no chance of working, and I would get into a very heated argument with myself until the moment was past, and I was left where I started. I recall one instance where I tried to reach out to her, and found to my suprise that my hand could not move. I simply carried on small talk like nothing was happening, all the while trying to life my hand and perform some sort of intimate act. Needless to say, this did not go well. After only dating her for a few weeks, she dumped me, giving me a classic "just be friends"speach. That was months ago, and my feelings for her remain. Every time I see her I can feel my inner workings tearing themselves apart.
It's not as if I didn't try to move on, I tried very hard. a bit after that I managed to find a girl that was attracted to me for some reason, she had no trouble making the first move, but just like before, she scared me completely, and I could never bring myself to return her affections. She has since moved on, and I cannot blame her. I am an absolute coward sometimes, so I never get anywhere. It sucks.
Why I'm telling you people this, I shall never be sure.
Amen.
Anyone interested in finding out more about this philosophy of life should read "The Tao of Pooh", and if you enjoy that, "The Te of Piglet". Two extremely good books which describe the concepts of Taoism using the characters from Winnie the Pooh (the original books, not the Disney make-over).
<edit> I'm not sure how easy it is to get to this state, mind. You have to be comfortable with yourself first, which takes a lot of thinking. Just remember that things probably aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are (and if you think they're really bad, that'll probably just make it even worse). Recognise your problems, your insecurities, accept them, and then work a way around them (or try and find a way to overcome them).
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly
Ask me a riddle and I reply
Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie."
Of course, that's from memory <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> I gave my copy away to someone who really needed it <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
Yay for the feeling of anomynousity (sp? right word even?) of posting on the forum. Since you will never probably see these people anyway (or if you do, you won't know it) you feel like you can post openly about anything (well there are limits).
I vote with just be yourself. I know it may not work, but if it does then what, your something you don't want to be and it just makes things worse. What is funny, I tried to be something I wasn't, and I did it for two whole years. Now that Im free, Ive never been happier. I can act the way I want to, dress the way I want to, and do whatever I want to. Now I hang out with my friends, focus on my studies, and am even talking to somebody I like better than my ex. My ex had some crazy notion to try and change my beliefs too, but I never let her do that. In the end I found out what she was really like, she had no idea what she wanted in life, but apparently it wasn't me (she cheated on me, some christian she turned out to be, hell im a better christian then her, and Im an atheist).
Yeah, I was depressed for a few days, but then I stopped feeling sorry for myself and went out, got hammered, sang loud in a bar, and talked to people I havent seen since I graduated. I even danced with some girls too (i think Im a better dancer/singer when im drunk/alone, its a funny/abnormal sight, because I dont say/do anything when Im sober)
Bah, I cant wait for the weekend now.....
Amen.
Anyone interested in finding out more about this philosophy of life should read "The Tao of Pooh", and if you enjoy that, "The Te of Piglet". Two extremely good books which describe the concepts of Taoism using the characters from Winnie the Pooh (the original books, not the Disney make-over).
<edit> I'm not sure how easy it is to get to this state, mind. You have to be comfortable with yourself first, which takes a lot of thinking. Just remember that things probably aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are (and if you think they're really bad, that'll probably just make it even worse). Recognise your problems, your insecurities, accept them, and then work a way around them (or try and find a way to overcome them). <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
"The Art of Happiness" is also a good book. Simple. Just like life. Written by one of the Dali Lamas.
<i>"Life isn't complicated, it is we who choose to complicate things."</i>
Not a quote from the book, it's my quote. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
EDiT: Merkaba, did you continue to follow Taoism or where you interested in the philisophical aspects of Taoism? Hve you ever heard of a man named Krishnamurti or David Bohm?
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->When there is the activity of the self, meditation is not possible. This is very important to understand, not verbally but actually. Meditation is a process of emptying the mind of all the activity of the self, of all the activity of the 'me'. If you do not understand the activity of the self, then your meditation only leads to illusion, your meditation then only leads to self-deception, your meditation then will only lead to further distortion. So to understand what meditation is, you must understand the activity of the self.
The self has had a thousand worldly, sensuous, or intellectual experiences, but it is bored with them because they have no meaning. The desire to have wider, more expansive, transcendental experiences is part of the 'me'.
J. Krishnamurti - <i>This Light in Oneself, p 72</i><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Get long hair, and take good care of it with shampoo, conditioner. I used to have lots of girl friends, but no girlfriends. Then, I got long hair and the ladies went crazy. :-) Also... about the same time I grew my hair out I stopped trying to act 'cool' around girls and just was myself. But the hair certainly helps :-D
Another thing- make sure your intentions are clear from the start by flirting. But, at the same time, if the girl seems to resist, make sure she knows you're only playing around and that you want to be a friend first, and anything else is just 'extra'. Not only will you abort the plan and save your esteem, you'll look like a 'nice guy' and further your chances probably.
Hang in there. Everyone goes through their akward stage. I didn't start growing until about the summer between Jr and Sophomore year, so there was a serious girl drought. And then, the first girl I went out with was a hardcore catholic... not cool. :-P I'm catholic, so I can make fun her.
Just hang in there and remeber:
Plastic baggie + lubriderm. Let sit under electric blanket for 1 minute. Enjoy.
(I'm thinking that's gonna get nuked... cmon admins, have some fun! )
hehe, couldn't help it (even his sense of humour is as bad as mine <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> though you do have a good point <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
The one problem with waht you said is that many people are not like that/don't know the type of peole who acept that
yes, I am a horrible flirt (even when I have a GF) simply b/c I spend most of my time playing aorund with girls (and i meen that in the most unsexual manner I can)
but yah, if you REALLY fell you need a GF here are some things that CAN help:
Long Well kept hair (won't work for some guys, just cuss)
know how to give good back rubs <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (you can read a book if you want, or find some one who does know and have them teach you some basics)
You are probably going to college next year:
1) keep your room clean for the love of god (note, I ignore this rule <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
2) learn to cook (pasta+ a few good sauces = wonders) if you can feed some one REAL food after subsisting on doorm food for a few weeks, they will love you <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
3) have fun and be happy
honestly enugh that last one is the key <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
if you can be happy then you will be a much more pleasant person to be around.
People love being around me when I am awake and happy (unfortunatly not that common anymore <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->) Happienes is sorta contagious and if you are happy others around you will be happy and will want to be around you.
Yah I am wandering all over the map here. But yah.
good luck, and remember the entire off topic board is behind you <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (I am not sure if that is reasuring or really freaken creepy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
Rhetorical: Is this meant to be a thread on how to get girls or how to overcome depression? Focus.
as a hint, don't use pick up lines...
ever.
as a hint, don't use pick up lines...
ever. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Don't know if that's really true in all cases. I don't think you should say them with a "straigth face" but if you do it with a twinkle in your eye she might think it's funny. If you can get the girl to laugh with you then you have created a connection and broken the ice.
Though I would never say "nice shoes..." since that is a bit offensive if the girl doesn't like that kind of jokes <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
This is a very cheezy site, but contains lots of tips for getting women in bed..
<a href='http://www.sosuave.com/' target='_blank'>http://www.sosuave.com/</a>
Of course, I dont say these things, but some of my friends do, and seriously too, its funny to see them get shot down!
<a href='http://www.sosuave.com/' target='_blank'>http://www.sosuave.com/</a> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Wow. My faith in the male gender, and humankind on the whole has just dropped a few points from "waning" to "completely nonexistent".
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Get long hair, and take good care of it with shampoo, conditioner. I used to have lots of girl friends, but no girlfriends. Then, I got long hair and the ladies went crazy. :-) Also... about the same time I grew my hair out I stopped trying to act 'cool' around girls and just was myself. But the hair certainly helps :-D<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I look like a girl with long hair. Looks like I lose again.
He isn't depressed because he keeps getting shot down by pretty girls... he has shot himself down before he even approuches the pretty girl.
I think that might be the problem. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I agree m8, and I also agree with your assessment...I used to do the same thing myself..but I was more trying to point out that a relaxed, confident attitude ie this whole "being happy with yerself" thing, counts for a fair bit, and can produce spectacular results...
Seems to me the guys focusing FAR too much on women, and how well he gets on with them. He's not having much luck, this is further messing with his self esteem.
This in turn, makes him ( I am assuming , sorry if this is not the case ), more and more anxious about the whole women thing, and therefore more likely to be insecure and nervous around them.
Most women will find twitchy / nervous / over serious an unattractive quality, which will further reduce his success, he'll see this and get even more uncomfortable around them.
Vicious circle, y'know?
My original point stands, chill and all will be well.
Go about your day, hey you might not "get chicks", but your 18 fs!! You can expect to live another 60 years, and *sexism warning* college chicks are waaayyy more fun than high school chicks..<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
As a demonstration of this principle, I would suggest that guys <i>with</i> a girlfriend / fiancee/ wife usually get more interest from women ( I know I have )
Why?
Because you are not looking, therefore you are not <i>trying</i>, therefore you have the freedom to just be yourself, which is much more attractive to most women in my experience...
All just opinions , natch.