Precursor: A Subnautica Story

NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
PROLOGUE
"Here it is!" After searching half the lifepods on the Aurora, Bob had finally found a standard issue survival knife.
"This took WAY to fi-" he wasn't able to finish my sentence as the the lifepod broke away from the Aurora with a loud "KLUNK!" The pod was tearing away from the Aurora! "KLUNK!" The pod shifted again. "Oh your kidding me right?" With on final "KLUNK" the pod was dislodged from is dock nocking Bob unconscious.

Comments

  • NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
    CHAPTER 1
    "Beep beep." "Beep beep." As I regained consciousness the first thing to greet me was the sound of an Alterra issue communications relay. I opened my eyes and looked arround. I was floating for one. It also looks like the lifepod failed to initiate its standard landing program. "Welp. Not the best day ever..." I mumbled as I floated over to the relay to turn off that incessant beeping. "Beep beep." "Beep Be-" the message was routed to the PDA lying across the room. I drifted over to pick it up. Instead of going into Emergency Mode like the a PDA should after a lifepod is jettisoned it reported me for "illegal use". "WHUMP!" I hit the floor HARD! I was pinned. The wall on the opposite side of the pod was displaying a trajectory. Then the entire board lit up showing me everything I needed to know, heck even the PDA was accepting my input! I slowly crawled over to a seat and lifted myself into it. The restraint even can down. As I looked through the hatch on top of the pod I finally saw what the planet looked like. "To. Much. Water." I grumbled as the pod fell on a direct intercept course...
  • baronvonsatanbaronvonsatan TX, USA Join Date: 2016-12-01 Member: 224415Members
    1) You need to decide if this is going to be a first-person or third-person story and stick to that decision throughout.
    2) Your spelling needs a lot of work. The occasional error can be forgiven, but the number of errors here are astounding.
    3) You should use commas, where appropriate, more often.
    4) Always proofread before posting. Then proofread again. Set it down for a day, then proofread it one final time.

    I'm pointing these things out not because I want you to stop writing, but because I want you to get better at it. It's doable! And you can do it.
  • SkopeSkope Wouldn't you like to know ;) Join Date: 2016-06-07 Member: 218212Members
    Still better than julians. :D
  • FalsonePlaysFalsonePlays Nauxes Join Date: 2017-05-27 Member: 230791Members
    Another story is on the horizon!
  • NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
    CHAPTER 2
    "PSHHHH" the sound of air hissing out of something came through the walls. Then the computer alerted me to a very big problem "WARNING: FLOTATION DEVICES COMPROMISED! THE OCEAN FLOOR IN THIS REGION IS BEYOND MAXIMUM CRUSH DEPTH!" To which I responded "So I'm dead now?" The pod's onboard computer even had an answer. "Yes. You're pretty much screwed.". "That doesn't help right now!" "But its true." "Shut up Siri clone!" "I am offended by your remark.". Then another alert interrupted the our argument. "WARNING: A LIFE FORM LARGER THAN THE CYCLOPS SUBMARINE HAS BEEN DETECTED! DEPTH OF... 500 METERS!" Something big had found the pod. "WARNING: CRUSH DEPTH REAC-" Just then something rammed the pod. I hit the release on the chair restraint and stumbled over to the built in locker. The only things inside were AEP suit and PDA. I had just finished sipping on the suit when a large chunk of the wall was torn to shreds by a big bioluminescent worm thing. It had the ugliest face on the entire planet which is probably why it only swims arround here... 643 meters below sea level. "CRUNCH!" The lifepod was being shredded! I managed to use the hatch on the bottom to escape while the angry worm continued to attack it. There was a light in the darkness so logically I swam towards it. When I reached the source I was looking through a window... an actual airlock down here! I searched around and found a button panel. I hit a random key. "GRRRRRRR" A slow mechanical grinding noise came out and the PDA was able to translate it to "Pressurizing Airlock." as the door slowly slid open. I swam into some sort of force field which dropped me into a small compartment with another keypad, this time with only one button. "Sealing Airlock."
  • NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
    Skope wrote: »
    Still better than julians. :D

    I'm gonna say that's a good thing.
  • ShuttleBugShuttleBug USA Join Date: 2017-03-15 Member: 228943Members
    Skope wrote: »
    Still better than julians. :D

    I'm gonna say that's a good thing.

    It's better you don't know what happened :lol:
  • FalsonePlaysFalsonePlays Nauxes Join Date: 2017-05-27 Member: 230791Members
    edited July 2017
    ShuttleBug wrote: »
    Skope wrote: »
    Still better than julians. :D

    I'm gonna say that's a good thing.

    It's better you don't know what happened :lol:

    Very true. Also SLOW DOWN!! It's not a race!
  • NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
    CHAPTER 3
    I exited the airlock to be greeted by another force field, this time with a console I front of it. The console opened up to reveal a yellow engraving. I turned around to find the entrance to a room full of suits. I pulled one off a rack and tried to put it on. Sadly the suit wasn't made for humans, or anybody who walks on two legs anyway. While I was walking out of the room something caught my eye. There was a big yellow thing lodged inside one of the helmets! I ran over and pulled the helmate off and started pulling. Half an hour later I found the switch that lifted up the visor. It took half an hour but I found the key. "CLINK.... SHHHHWWWWWW!" The field powered down and I was able to walk through. I turned the corner to find... a floating elevator. I stepped in and it pulled me down to the bottom of the facility. After floating downwards at high speeds for near a minute I stumbled out, nauseated. Infront of me was the biggest drill I had ever seen. I decided to comment on the situation and see what Siri had to say. "Whoa that's a big drill!" All Siri had to say was "Yes, very big." to which I replied "What you aren't gonna give me the-" Siri interrupted me like all computers do. "This facility appears to be a drilling platform." "Yeah that's obvious considering the GIANT DRILL!". It seems all AI do these days is point out the obvious. I stepped up to a console and pushed a button. Siri had a comment on it. "This console controls the drill, as well as minor systems across the facility." A holographic map of the facility appeared infront of me. I scrolled arround the 3D hologram for a while and it confirmed the purpose of the facility. It was just a giant drill! Then another thought occurred. "Hey Siri... how long has this place been here?". The quakes started shortly after.
  • NuclearTestingNuclearTesting Join Date: 2017-07-27 Member: 232082Members
    edited July 2017
    CHAPTER 4 (AUDIO LOG)
    "Finding food and water was easy. I found what looked like a storage room on the map and shure enough stacks of rations! I found out a lot about this facility and the environment arround it just by reading the rough translations Siri provided me with. For one, the worm thing that attacked my lifepod is called a Phantom Leviathan. For two, I'm stuck on a really big mining rig. On top of that the drilling (which started over 50,000 years ago) has made the region seismically unstable, so these "Precursors" stopped drilling. My HUD depth counter stopped working but this facility is nearly 1,000 meters underwater at its deepest. The earthquakes were getting worse and worse until I started the drill. Now everything is moving smoothly. The Precursors were drilling for the core. I hope I find out what they were-" "RRRRMMMM!" "Quake!"
    CHAPTER 5
    "Dang it! Siri? How bad is it?" My PDA was lying across the floor with a big crack on one of the nodes. I crawled over. "Siri. I need structural damage!" The hologram flickered to life, and even though it was distorted I could see how bad it was. "The base is taking on water... cmon Siri! Is there any protocol or anything for this?" No response. Then the hologram flickered and died. "So I'm stuck on an alien planet on an alien facility hundreds of meters below sea level. This could not get any wo-" "GRRRRRGRRRRRR" the noice came out loud and clear, yet I had no way to translate the language. "GGGGGRRR" It played again, but this time different. Barely. "CREAAAA... SNAP" I was thrown against the ceiling by the force of whatever had snapped the line. The entire facility was suspended by a massive cable attached to a ship on the surface, which was probably centuries old by now. "GRRRRRGRRR" The noise played again, even louder. Another variation of the same sound. I was pinned to the ceiling and as the rig plummeted into the abyss it started to get hotter. Very hot. "This facility runs on ion..." The thought had never occurred to me but I finally realized what happens when the drill hits the core. I never had time to finish that thought though and it finnaly happened. I hit the core.
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