NS2 inspired/related jokes... let's collect them!

LuchsLuchs Switzerland Join Date: 2014-07-23 Member: 197569Members, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow
in NS2 General Discussion
Title says it all. I occasionally see a witty joke or phrase with a NS2 reference in game, but I can't remember but one:

What kind of underwear does a lerk wear?
An um-bra! (Badoom-ttsh!)

Let's make a collection of fun(tm)! Do you folks know some more? Or feel inspired to invent some more? Then please share!
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  • meatmachinemeatmachine South England Join Date: 2013-01-06 Member: 177858Members, NS2 Playtester, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Supporter
    what do the marines say when the aliens get an onos its a joke they say onos because they are very scared hehehehehe
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  • meatmachinemeatmachine South England Join Date: 2013-01-06 Member: 177858Members, NS2 Playtester, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Supporter
    Whats the only possible type of shot for me to get on a fade? A Meat-shot ho ho ho ho :D
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  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    edited March 2015
    An Onos walks into a bar...
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  • LuchsLuchs Switzerland Join Date: 2014-07-23 Member: 197569Members, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow
    I'll give it a try myself, too. :)

    What game do young skulks love to play?
    Hide and Sneak. (Badoom-tssh...)
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  • krOozekrOoze Join Date: 2014-04-24 Member: 195593Members
    edited March 2015
    Why does X do Y?
    nanites, bacteria, not enough money.
    Oh, that wasn't a joke? NVM then...
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  • SantaClawsSantaClaws Denmark Join Date: 2012-07-31 Member: 154491Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    A marine and a caster goes in to the Onos bar.
    The marine gets the hiccups.
    The marine asks the Onos; Can you tell the caster not to stare at me, I'm having the hiccups.
    The Onos says; No need, the CDT has your cure!

    https://trello.com/c/pqNG70S8/465-first-person-spectating-making-the-targetted-player-hitch-if-the-spectator-has-high-ping

    I know that joke is trash, but I'm just really excited about that news!
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  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    So I have this idea for a great movie. It's about two Gorges who find a clog of power, and they have to take it to the Gorgeous Refinery and cast it into the Pit of Molten Iron. They form the Brotherhood of the Clog. Along the way they're trailed by the a vile creature called Babbler King, who's obsessed with the clog and nine Babbler bogeymen. It could be a three-parter, called “Builder of the Clog”. The first part would be called “The Brotherhood of the Clog”, followed by “A bunch of Clog Stacks”, with the climatic ending called “Oh nos, the Hivemind Returns!”
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  • krOozekrOoze Join Date: 2014-04-24 Member: 195593Members
    ^ this belongs to the "what would you do to bring players" thread! Finally an effective idea! :P
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  • cooliticcoolitic Right behind you Join Date: 2013-04-02 Member: 184609Members
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
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  • SupaDupaNoodleSupaDupaNoodle Join Date: 2003-01-12 Member: 12232Members
    edited March 2015
    Commander: "Guys get through the phase gate, aliens attacking our 2nd tech point!"
    Player1: goes through, scythed by fades on either side of gate
    Player2: goes through, scythed by fades on either side of gate
    Commander: "Come on you noobs, keep going through the phase gate!"
    Player3: "No way comm, that's a FADE GATE now"

    Badummm tssshhh
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  • cooliticcoolitic Right behind you Join Date: 2013-04-02 Member: 184609Members
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
    Would it help if I said it still applies to ns2.

    Because fades should always be blinking?
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  • NordicNordic Long term camping in Kodiak Join Date: 2012-05-13 Member: 151995Members, NS2 Playtester, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Shadow
    coolitic wrote: »
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
    Would it help if I said it still applies to ns2.

    Because fades should always be blinking?

    Your almost there....
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  • MauvaisVitrierMauvaisVitrier France Join Date: 2014-04-10 Member: 195291Members, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Diamond
    edited April 2015
    I would like to see a comic one day of one marine, walking alone in a hallway, getting to a res node, blueprint dropped. Then he would start building. Then suddenly he hears Wagner's ride of the valkyries and sees two fades, two lerks and a skulk come at him and destroy him. Then you would see his body, bleeding, hurt, and the marine would say "I was just minding my own business, capping". And the next shot is 3 marines push on an alien natural RT, alone, no aliens
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  • cooliticcoolitic Right behind you Join Date: 2013-04-02 Member: 184609Members
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
    Would it help if I said it still applies to ns2.

    Because fades should always be blinking?

    Your almost there....

    Because shadowstep? Idk im out of guesses.
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  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    coolitic wrote: »
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
    Would it help if I said it still applies to ns2.

    Because fades should always be blinking?

    Your almost there....

    Because shadowstep? Idk im out of guesses.

    something about bunny hipsters
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  • 2cough2cough Rocky Mountain High Join Date: 2013-03-14 Member: 183952Members, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Supporter
    Allow me to help you out coolitic ol buddy ol pal,
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    a fade... walk(s) into a bar.

    Ehhh? :-?

    Alright now to chip in... Good skulks never die... they just fade away.

    :-q
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  • SupaDupaNoodleSupaDupaNoodle Join Date: 2003-01-12 Member: 12232Members
    edited April 2015
    2cough wrote: »
    Allow me to help you out coolitic ol buddy ol pal,
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    a fade... walk(s) into a bar.

    Ehhh? :-?

    Alright now to chip in... Good skulks never die... they just fade away.

    :-q

    OK I'm gonna spell this out for him.
    The joke lies in the fact that the fade in the above scenario walks into a bar. In NS2 and NS1 gameplay, fades should not be walking anywhere, and instead should be be blinking or shadowstepping around, as a fade's walking speed is extremely slow and therefore endangers him to being killed by marines.

    Thus, the joke is funny because the bar tender at the bar into which the trio walk into, points it out.
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  • meatmachinemeatmachine South England Join Date: 2013-01-06 Member: 177858Members, NS2 Playtester, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Supporter
    This isnt a joke, but on a related topic this is what I think every time a fade walks:
    happy-elderly-man-two-walking-sticks-27105562.jpg
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  • Warforce17Warforce17 Join Date: 2013-09-12 Member: 188154Members
    edited April 2015
    meatmachine wrote: »
    This isnt a joke, but on a related topic this is what I think every time a fade walks:
    happy-elderly-man-two-walking-sticks-27105562.jpg

    ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY THAT THE JOKE GOT OLD?!
    Badum Tshhh.
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  • roxxkattroxxkatt Join Date: 2014-12-28 Member: 200431Members
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Nordic wrote: »
    coolitic wrote: »
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    My favorite from NS1:

    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".

    I don't get this because I never played NS1.

    Help?
    Would it help if I said it still applies to ns2.

    Because fades should always be blinking?

    Your almost there....

    you're*
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  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    SupaDupaNoodle wrote: »
    2cough wrote: »
    Allow me to help you out coolitic ol buddy ol pal,
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    a fade... walk(s) into a bar.

    Ehhh? :-?

    Alright now to chip in... Good skulks never die... they just fade away.

    :-q

    OK I'm gonna spell this out for him.

    Thus, the joke is funny because the bar tender at the bar into which the trio walk into, points it out.
    false-dwight-schrute-facts.jpg
    you explained the joke and as such, when a joke is explained, it is no longer funny haha but funny hehe.

    As it is now an "ooooh hehe kinda thing". Which in itself is an entirely different kind of funny called funneh

    Pogostick marines!
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  • cooliticcoolitic Right behind you Join Date: 2013-04-02 Member: 184609Members
    SupaDupaNoodle wrote: »
    2cough wrote: »
    Allow me to help you out coolitic ol buddy ol pal,
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    a fade... walk(s) into a bar.

    Ehhh? :-?

    Alright now to chip in... Good skulks never die... they just fade away.

    :-q

    OK I'm gonna spell this out for him.
    The joke lies in the fact that the fade in the above scenario walks into a bar. In NS2 and NS1 gameplay, fades should not be walking anywhere, and instead should be be blinking or shadowstepping around, as a fade's walking speed is extremely slow and therefore endangers him to being killed by marines.

    Thus, the joke is funny because the bar tender at the bar into which the trio walk into, points it out.

    Wasn't that my original guess?
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  • NordicNordic Long term camping in Kodiak Join Date: 2012-05-13 Member: 151995Members, NS2 Playtester, NS2 Map Tester, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Shadow
    coolitic wrote: »
    SupaDupaNoodle wrote: »
    2cough wrote: »
    Allow me to help you out coolitic ol buddy ol pal,
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    A skulk, a fade, and an Onos walk into a bar, and the bartender says "LOL WALKER FADE".
    Wyzcrak wrote: »
    a fade... walk(s) into a bar.

    Ehhh? :-?

    Alright now to chip in... Good skulks never die... they just fade away.

    :-q

    OK I'm gonna spell this out for him.
    The joke lies in the fact that the fade in the above scenario walks into a bar. In NS2 and NS1 gameplay, fades should not be walking anywhere, and instead should be be blinking or shadowstepping around, as a fade's walking speed is extremely slow and therefore endangers him to being killed by marines.

    Thus, the joke is funny because the bar tender at the bar into which the trio walk into, points it out.

    Wasn't that my original guess?

    Yes, but you still didn't understand the all important why. Hence why I said "your almost there." Maybe you just don't find humor in it, but I think it is the only real good joke in this thread.
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  • SupaDupaNoodleSupaDupaNoodle Join Date: 2003-01-12 Member: 12232Members
    Having had to spell out the joke made it a non-joke :(

    So turns out Schrodinger's cat was dead after all ;)
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  • Cannon_FodderAUSCannon_FodderAUS Brisbane, AU Join Date: 2013-06-23 Member: 185664Members, Squad Five Blue, Squad Five Silver, Reinforced - Shadow
    SupaDupaNoodle wrote: »
    Having had to spell out the joke made it a non-joke :(

    So turns out Schrodinger's cat was dead after all ;)

    that isn't quiet true. Schrodinger's cat is in a state of dead and undead until you open the box. A bit like a fade dying around the corner, you are in a state of dead and undead for that split second of lag (or half a second) if you playing on the Thirsty Onos from Australia (me).
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