Help me out guys

XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
edited March 2007 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">This is totally annoying</div>So I built this time machine a few hours ago (it's really complicated, Ill explain it another time). Anyway, I used it to try and go back a few hundred years in time. Except it just spat me out like 2 minutes after the past me turned it on. Now Im stuck with myself from 4 hours ago.

It doesn't help that past me is a total jerk. Seriously, what's his problem? Im the older one, he should be looking up to me.
Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome

Comments

  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    When the doctor prescribes you pills and tells you when to take them and in what dosage, you should probably listen to him.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HazeHaze O RLY? Join Date: 2003-07-07 Member: 18018Members, Constellation
    You don't have a full connection on the rotary nuclei, so you can't complete the circuit long enough to travel back more than a few moments.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612719:date=Mar 8 2007, 07:47 PM:name=Xyth)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Xyth @ Mar 8 2007, 07:47 PM) [snapback]1612719[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    So I built this time machine a few hours ago (it's really complicated, Ill explain it another time). Anyway, I used it to try and go back a few hundred years in time. Except it just spat me out like 2 minutes after the past me turned it on. Now Im stuck with myself from 4 hours ago.

    It doesn't help that past me is a total jerk. Seriously, what's his problem? Im the older one, he should be looking up to me.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Dude?! How'd you know my password? And <i>IM</i> the jerk?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • CabooseCaboose title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
    So, future Xyth, you know present Xyth wants to kill you right?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HazeHaze O RLY? Join Date: 2003-07-07 Member: 18018Members, Constellation
    Noooooooot clever. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" />
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612733:date=Mar 8 2007, 08:03 PM:name=Haze)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Haze @ Mar 8 2007, 08:03 PM) [snapback]1612733[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Noooooooot clever. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" />
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yeah, past me makes pretty lame threads.

    And how does he hope to kill me? Surprise me? I know everything he would try. I wouldn't have thought I'd be that much better then him by just being 4 hours older.

    How wrong I was.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    Past self just has to kill himself to stop future self from killing past self thus saving himself from himself by killing himself
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    I think there's a paradox somewhere in here!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    Guys, I think past-me went back in time again. I read what he wrote in the other thread and it seems to make sense. Nobody came out of my time-machine when I turned it on. However I did leave it alone, do you think somehow he was able to guess exactly when I wasn't in the room and come out of it? I don't really have a rational reason why I slept that 4 hours, but it all seems to make sense now.

    I have to give past me credit, he figured it out faster then I did.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • CrotalusCrotalus Join Date: 2003-12-02 Member: 23871Members
    I don't understand, you said your past you turned it on four hours ago, and out you came. But first, I thought you said you had been working on the machine for the last few hours? How could you past you have had a time machine already, four hours ago?

    AND NOW, you say the past you went back in time, and you slept for four hours?! WHICH ONE ARE YOU?!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612772:date=Mar 8 2007, 09:19 PM:name=Xyth)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Xyth @ Mar 8 2007, 09:19 PM) [snapback]1612772[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    I have to give past me credit, he figured it out faster then I did.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    What if there is a third you and this you told the third you what you would do so that you could not figure out what you would do so that when you went back in time you could get yourself before you could figure it out?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612777:date=Mar 8 2007, 09:27 PM:name=Crotalus)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Crotalus @ Mar 8 2007, 09:27 PM) [snapback]1612777[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    I don't understand, you said your past you turned it on four hours ago, and out you came. But first, I thought you said you had been working on the machine for the last few hours? How could you past you have had a time machine already, four hours ago?

    AND NOW, you say the past you went back in time, and you slept for four hours?! WHICH ONE ARE YOU?!
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Apparently my past-self did go back in time. He's completely missing, and seems to taken all my tylenol PM. I would say you couldn't give me enough tylenol PM to make me that tired, but here I'm.

    I think I've figured it out though. Im running on 2 timelines here. On the first one I (Future Xyth) turn on the machine and nothing happens. However when I leave the room the other me comes out of the machine and poisons me with the PM. That's why I felt so damned tired, I sleep for the 4 hours. When I wake up I decide to test the machine, and that leads me to where this whole thread started.

    However the real question is, what is the other past-me doing in the other timeline, the one where he secretly spikes something I was drinking? Did he run off and hide after I fell asleep? So does that mean he is in the other timeline, or did he then go through the machine again and came out at some point on this timeline? Is he here somewhere?

    This is blowing my mind guys.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • DaDeDaDe Join Date: 2006-11-12 Member: 58558Members, Constellation
    your flux capacitor is out of alignnent.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    one day, he'll work out the kinks in his device only to find out that he's his own Grandpa.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    In this timeline the you that is you know the other you which is from the future and thus the future you does not not the other you from the other timeline so the other you from the other time line went back in time which made the firt you not go back in time which means you are not you but you are your past you but that means that when you read this you will be future you so then future you will go back in time and the past you which is reading this will then see that he does not know how you will affect yourself as yourself trevels back in time the other you from the other time line will go forward in a backwards motion of the past toward the future so then the third and the first you will confront the second you as the second you is met will the past you which you originally encountered in the past and then all five of yourselves will meet an then you will atmept to stop youself and the second you and the two and a half you will then see the first you and the fifth you will not see that the third you has gone back into the second timeline and the first you will see that furute you did exist at one pojnt until the second you met the first you which made you not exist until he existed the second you met up with the half you of the second you then ifant you will see the old you and kill toddler you as you see yourself and ypu become your own grandfather by killing your grandfather and the second you will see that toddler you is not with the first you as second you sees past you and then the original future you then comes through and sees the orginal past you thus making anouther timeline and the timeline will not split until you go encounter yourself in the kitchen and the kitchen then becomes your timemachine and the third you will then create the sixth you on the second you as the fist you then sees child you and infant you in the same place as future you the seems you. then toddler you will kill adult you as you kill toddler you and infant you the you go to you self as yourself doesn't go further back into the second you as yourself sees yourself at the second you next to yourself thus the fifth you will see that second you and past you is meeting up with past you and future you then comes through the time machine which means that right now was really yesterday morning.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • DaDeDaDe Join Date: 2006-11-12 Member: 58558Members, Constellation
    i dont have the attention span to read more than 2 or 3 lines, also makes my brain hurt
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    Well it's getting close to midnight, which is when the sleeping me will get into the machine in the other timeline... so something has to happen.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    Well since its several hours in the future that means that you are you future self and your your own jerk so to stop yourself you must kill yourself. If you don't kill your self now then you'll go through the time machine and you will be a jerk to your past self.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612788:date=Mar 8 2007, 09:56 PM:name=Hybridclaw)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Hybridclaw @ Mar 8 2007, 09:56 PM) [snapback]1612788[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Well since its several hours in the future that means that you are you future self and your your own jerk so to stop yourself you must kill yourself. If you don't kill your self now then you'll go through the time machine and you will be a jerk to your past self.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I think Im the only of myself here right now though. In the other timeline Im currently asleep and the other me is doing SOMETHING (what did he do after poisoning me?).
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • waterbusterwaterbuster Join Date: 2006-12-17 Member: 59117Members
    Kill the second you, destroy the machine.

    Problem solved.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612791:date=Mar 8 2007, 10:00 PM:name=waterbuster)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(waterbuster @ Mar 8 2007, 10:00 PM) [snapback]1612791[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Kill the second you, destroy the machine.

    Problem solved.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    but if he kills the second him then he'll never meet the second self which means he'll never develop the motive to kill him self and destroy the machine which means that second you will continue to exist
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • waterbusterwaterbuster Join Date: 2006-12-17 Member: 59117Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612792:date=Mar 9 2007, 03:02 AM:name=Hybridclaw)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Hybridclaw @ Mar 9 2007, 03:02 AM) [snapback]1612792[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    but if he kills the second him then he'll never meet the second self which means he'll never develop the motive to kill him self and destroy the machine which means that second you will continue to exist
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ...Destroy the machine, kill himself.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612795:date=Mar 8 2007, 10:04 PM:name=waterbuster)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(waterbuster @ Mar 8 2007, 10:04 PM) [snapback]1612795[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    ...Destroy the machine, kill himself.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    but if he does that then he would have had no reason to have started up this thread in the first place which means that he would have never gotten the advice since this would not have existed for him to read
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    Did you forget to put the crystals in?

    <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/nerd-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="::nerdy::" border="0" alt="nerd-fix.gif" />
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • AbraAbra Would you kindly Join Date: 2003-08-17 Member: 19870Members
    Another one of these threads!!?

    F'ing A!
    These forums are spiralling downwards.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • Femme_FataleFemme_Fatale Join Date: 2005-06-21 Member: 54310Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1612731:date=Mar 9 2007, 02:02 AM:name=Caboose)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Caboose @ Mar 9 2007, 02:02 AM) [snapback]1612731[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    So, future Xyth, you know present Xyth wants to kill you right?
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    problem solved.killing the original will reset time
    .
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    Can't believe I didn't think of linking <a href="http://xkcd.com/c105.html" target="_blank">this</a> before now.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • DrSuredeathDrSuredeath Join Date: 2002-11-11 Member: 8217Members
    Good god people, do you want NS forum featured in Something Awful's Weekend Web?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612962:date=Mar 9 2007, 09:54 AM:name=Abra)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Abra @ Mar 9 2007, 09:54 AM) [snapback]1612962[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Another one of these threads!!?

    F'ing A!
    These forums are spiralling downwards.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I wasn't the first person to create a time machine?

    PARADOX!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
Sign In or Register to comment.