Abandoned Part 5
kyliegirl
Gorge MasterAustralia Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10586Members, Reinforced - Shadow
Gorge MasterAustralia Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10586Members, Reinforced - Shadow
<div class="IPBDescription">5th part</div>
<b>First chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93603' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Second chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93794' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Third chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93842' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Fourth chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93911' target='_blank'>here</a>
-------------------------------
Nadair watched silently as the rear door closed behind them, enclosing them inside of the support ship, the door gave a last clang as it set itself tightly pressed itself onto the ship. A few marines were chattering silently, so Nadair turned his attention towards them, the marines sitting on bolted chairs, others standing looking out of the glass windows into the Docking room watching silently and waiting. Suddenly the ship began to grumble and shake as the engines whirred quickly to a start. Nadair looked out of the window to see the docking door open to the outside world…
The outside world? He had never seen such a thing; the ship began to move with an abrupt jolt and proceeded towards the exit. Quickly it gained speed in a small space and rushed out the door like it was running away, Nadair could only stare wide eyed as he seen the sun, the sky, the hills rocks and grass laying about like a beautiful painting, he had never seen such beauty in his life. All this time he was confined in a room, never seeing what he was missing out on, all this.
The ship turned steadily, gliding through the air towards the sky, Nadair looked as all strange creatures roamed the plains on this world, and then he heard a bellowing call. It sounded so sad, yet enchanting, the call echoed into a longer tune and then pitched into a higher sound, something was singing. Nadairs gaze looked up into the roof glass pane and he nearly fainted from the sight, A gigantic whale like creature far bigger than the ship, they were mozzies to this enormous beast. The ship steadily flew along side the beast as Nadair stared in disbelief, the marines also whispered and laughed listening to this creatures song and watching as the ship glided ever so closely to the beast. Mark opened his eyes and grinned. "Gauntus, the great whales of Nethius. They never touch the planets soil or water" The ship reached alongside the giant whales eye, its pupil scanning the ship carefully, Nadair wondered if this thing would eat them, but instead, it eased away from the ship turning and singing, it slowly moved through the clouds like it was underwater, its pale pink skin glowed, then Nadair caught sight of many of them. This was only one singing whale, and there was at least 20 altogether around them!
The ship now rattled and the skies grew darker, Nadair looked up again to see the sky fall before them as the ship edged faster and grumbled at the pressure. Marines began to fasten themselves and grab onto things tightly preparing themselves, it seemed like an eternity as the ship continued to shake and howl. Nadairs visions came back to him, haunting him of the loss of his master, everything which had happened. He could see himself running through the halls again, running away. Then... Silence… Nadair opened his eyes to only gasp, they were in a black ocean with glowing stars, such beauty and entrancement was this.
The ship now soared peacefully, its engines had cut and switched to a different engine, helping it to glide through this black world… World? Was this a world? Or an ocean in which planets had a place in? Nadair couldn’t tell. The ship peacefully turned and a marine said "home again", another called "home to you, hell for us" there was chuckling and marines looked out the windows grinning like how Nadairs master grinned when he got chocolate. Nadair followed their gaze to the sight of an enormous ship, the frame of the ship was beautiful, it glistened a silver from the sun, over 30 turrets guarded this ships sides, along with gigantic guns placed towards the front and back of the ship, the guns were clearly for whipping out anything as big as a meteor. "Welcome to the Envious" Simmons said, the ship eased underneath the Envious where a few more turrets sat, following the support ship carefully. The belly of the Envious opened, and the support ship stopped in place and hovered gently upwards into the opening, the doors closed beneath as the support ship sailed down on top of it, jumping at it finally hit solid ground again. The back of the cargo door opened again and the marines began to shuffle out casually, the medics activated the hover bed once again, Nadair and Mark were led out of the ship into an even bigger Docking room, the ships lined up on various doors along the ground. And further off, giant fighting ships sat dormant in rows facing a giant door at the back end. The marines were lining up waiting for the “at ease” command from Simmons, the medics followed the hover bed and a door in front opened quickly, allowing them to pass through.
Nadair looked around, the walls silver with imprints and patterns; cords hung like vines along the sides. Another door opened and a medic gently pulled Nadair off the bed onto a table, scared from the sudden act when Nadair called to mark who was being led into a room surrounded by glass, the medic smiled gently. "Don’t worry he will be back". Nadair wasn’t convinced as he ran to the windows and looked in at Mark lying under a giant light. Then strange robotic arms came from the light and scanned Mark, removing his damaged armor and clothing, and then proceeded to form a laser and beamed upon Mark's wound slowly. Nadair watched curiously as Marks wound seemed to melt and his skin melted into place, the wound fully healed in less than 20 seconds. The machine arms then quickly folded back into the light, as if nothing had happened. The medic walked in and brought Mark back out, Nadair ran and leapt off the table onto Mark and gargled worriedly, Mark smiled and petted Nadair as they were once again led to another room. "You can rest here, your clothes are in that locker along with armor and weaponry, report to Envious command once your fully rested" the medic said, shuffling Mark to lay on a bed in a private dorm room, then proceeding out the door with the hover bed. Mark nodded and closed his eyes to rest, but Nadair wasn’t tired. He wanted to explore; this new place was like a light to everything a new place to play around.
Jumping off the bed Nadair landed with a small flop, he looked about the dimly lit room, it was definitely a private dorm, for it had a bed, kitchen, lounge and a bathroom. Nadair walked silently on the carpeted floor out onto a tiled floor in the kitchen, the Envious sure had luxury to put detail into such a room. Nadair found a small fridge embedded underneath the bench and lunged for it, hungrily hoping something was in there. Nudging the door, he finally got it open to only find a few small cases of milk and a giant glass of water. Frustrated, he snorted unimpressed that this fridge could not supply him with lovely meals. Nadair sat and began to scratch his neck with his back leg like a dog; his collar clinked as he scratched. Looking around there wasn’t much else to explore in this room, and the front door was shut, he would have to wait for Mark to rest before going anywhere else. Defeated, he sighed boredly and tried to crawl back onto the highly elevated bed, circling he lay down at Mark's feet and closed his eyes gently.
Nadair was awakened by shuffling, and he looked up suddenly to see Mark snapping on the last of his armor. He was awake! Finally Nadair could explore this ship and find something to eat. Mark grinned and petted Nadairs head. "Coming then?" He asked as he walked towards the door. Nadair didn’t think twice and bolted towards the door gleefully. Mark opened it and walked out, Nadair followed alongside Mark down the hall, two marines followed behind chatting to each other about a gun of some sort, Nadair looked behind to find one staring at him and Mark strangely and shaking his head. Mark kept following the same signs, Nadair read one saying "Command console", Obviously he wasn’t going to the cafeteria, Nadair sighed unhappily, he would have to wait for food then, he trotted steadily beside Mark as they passed through automatic glass sliding doors and up some stairs into what looked like the communications room, glittered with computer screens and buttons flashing, marines sat talking and pressing buttons continuously. Mark and Nadair proceeded up another few stairs to another platform with a command chair in the center, "I was asked to proceed here immediately when ready" Mark instructed as two marines approached, they glared at Nadair. Obviously his kind wasn’t much of a good impression. "He’s with me" Mark said, and the marines looked at Mark. "The commander will be with you in a second".
Mark stood like a statue as he waited, Nadair sat down and waited, he hated standing around waiting for things, his stomach had other plans, it growled deeply, enough for marines to turn at him carefully. Mark looked down at Nadair and gave a slight smile then winked, obviously it meant after this they would take a trip to the cafeteria! Nadair wagged his stubby tail and smiled excitedly. Food! At last, it’s been hours since he ate. A well built marine logged out of the command chair, he had a scar along his cheek bone, his hair brown with a few strands of gray, the man was definitely in his 40's. Grinning, the commander shook Mark's hand. "Commander Garrison" he said grinning, "good to see a survivor, you’re lucky you lived," he said. Mark smirked and replied "Only lucky when dead sir, you’ll only find peace then." The commander laughed and walked to the front of the ship, Mark and Nadair followed, "You have a strange pet Mark Foley" the commander said, facing his attention on Nadair. "It was our commanders son's pet sir" Mark replied. The commander looked at Mark seriously. "You have heard about what happened on Hera haven’t you?" The commander asked. "Yes sir, but this is definitely different, for the boy on Hera was converted by aliens, this kharaa was converted by humans" Mark said. The commanders mouth didn’t move to a smile. "Let's hope so," he replied. Nadair called and gargled at the commander, he liked this man, he was careful, yet funny. He was like his masters dad, only a little more serious.
"Is there any reason why you wanted to see me sir?" Mark asked. "Well, mostly to see for myself a survivor from an attack of kharaa." "I'm not a hero, sir." Mark said sadly. "I know that, but you are a survivor, and I am going to transfer you over under the command of Simmons, he has oddly taking a liking to your gorge and requested this. He said something about your gorge being an advantage in combat with these kharaa" the commander said grinning curiously. Mark smiled, "Nadair likes to help where he can sir." "Indeed," the commander replied, patting Nadair on the head gently. "He seems a very friendly sort. You can go now Mark, report to Simmons at 17:00 in the training center sector 42B, that is all." The commander saluted, and quickly returned to his position in the command chair. Mark looked down at Nadair. "Hungry eh?" He asked. Nadair gargled excitedly; it was like Mark read his mind... or his belly.
<b>First chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93603' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Second chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93794' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Third chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93842' target='_blank'>here</a>
<b>Fourth chapter</b> - <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=93911' target='_blank'>here</a>
-------------------------------
Nadair watched silently as the rear door closed behind them, enclosing them inside of the support ship, the door gave a last clang as it set itself tightly pressed itself onto the ship. A few marines were chattering silently, so Nadair turned his attention towards them, the marines sitting on bolted chairs, others standing looking out of the glass windows into the Docking room watching silently and waiting. Suddenly the ship began to grumble and shake as the engines whirred quickly to a start. Nadair looked out of the window to see the docking door open to the outside world…
The outside world? He had never seen such a thing; the ship began to move with an abrupt jolt and proceeded towards the exit. Quickly it gained speed in a small space and rushed out the door like it was running away, Nadair could only stare wide eyed as he seen the sun, the sky, the hills rocks and grass laying about like a beautiful painting, he had never seen such beauty in his life. All this time he was confined in a room, never seeing what he was missing out on, all this.
The ship turned steadily, gliding through the air towards the sky, Nadair looked as all strange creatures roamed the plains on this world, and then he heard a bellowing call. It sounded so sad, yet enchanting, the call echoed into a longer tune and then pitched into a higher sound, something was singing. Nadairs gaze looked up into the roof glass pane and he nearly fainted from the sight, A gigantic whale like creature far bigger than the ship, they were mozzies to this enormous beast. The ship steadily flew along side the beast as Nadair stared in disbelief, the marines also whispered and laughed listening to this creatures song and watching as the ship glided ever so closely to the beast. Mark opened his eyes and grinned. "Gauntus, the great whales of Nethius. They never touch the planets soil or water" The ship reached alongside the giant whales eye, its pupil scanning the ship carefully, Nadair wondered if this thing would eat them, but instead, it eased away from the ship turning and singing, it slowly moved through the clouds like it was underwater, its pale pink skin glowed, then Nadair caught sight of many of them. This was only one singing whale, and there was at least 20 altogether around them!
The ship now rattled and the skies grew darker, Nadair looked up again to see the sky fall before them as the ship edged faster and grumbled at the pressure. Marines began to fasten themselves and grab onto things tightly preparing themselves, it seemed like an eternity as the ship continued to shake and howl. Nadairs visions came back to him, haunting him of the loss of his master, everything which had happened. He could see himself running through the halls again, running away. Then... Silence… Nadair opened his eyes to only gasp, they were in a black ocean with glowing stars, such beauty and entrancement was this.
The ship now soared peacefully, its engines had cut and switched to a different engine, helping it to glide through this black world… World? Was this a world? Or an ocean in which planets had a place in? Nadair couldn’t tell. The ship peacefully turned and a marine said "home again", another called "home to you, hell for us" there was chuckling and marines looked out the windows grinning like how Nadairs master grinned when he got chocolate. Nadair followed their gaze to the sight of an enormous ship, the frame of the ship was beautiful, it glistened a silver from the sun, over 30 turrets guarded this ships sides, along with gigantic guns placed towards the front and back of the ship, the guns were clearly for whipping out anything as big as a meteor. "Welcome to the Envious" Simmons said, the ship eased underneath the Envious where a few more turrets sat, following the support ship carefully. The belly of the Envious opened, and the support ship stopped in place and hovered gently upwards into the opening, the doors closed beneath as the support ship sailed down on top of it, jumping at it finally hit solid ground again. The back of the cargo door opened again and the marines began to shuffle out casually, the medics activated the hover bed once again, Nadair and Mark were led out of the ship into an even bigger Docking room, the ships lined up on various doors along the ground. And further off, giant fighting ships sat dormant in rows facing a giant door at the back end. The marines were lining up waiting for the “at ease” command from Simmons, the medics followed the hover bed and a door in front opened quickly, allowing them to pass through.
Nadair looked around, the walls silver with imprints and patterns; cords hung like vines along the sides. Another door opened and a medic gently pulled Nadair off the bed onto a table, scared from the sudden act when Nadair called to mark who was being led into a room surrounded by glass, the medic smiled gently. "Don’t worry he will be back". Nadair wasn’t convinced as he ran to the windows and looked in at Mark lying under a giant light. Then strange robotic arms came from the light and scanned Mark, removing his damaged armor and clothing, and then proceeded to form a laser and beamed upon Mark's wound slowly. Nadair watched curiously as Marks wound seemed to melt and his skin melted into place, the wound fully healed in less than 20 seconds. The machine arms then quickly folded back into the light, as if nothing had happened. The medic walked in and brought Mark back out, Nadair ran and leapt off the table onto Mark and gargled worriedly, Mark smiled and petted Nadair as they were once again led to another room. "You can rest here, your clothes are in that locker along with armor and weaponry, report to Envious command once your fully rested" the medic said, shuffling Mark to lay on a bed in a private dorm room, then proceeding out the door with the hover bed. Mark nodded and closed his eyes to rest, but Nadair wasn’t tired. He wanted to explore; this new place was like a light to everything a new place to play around.
Jumping off the bed Nadair landed with a small flop, he looked about the dimly lit room, it was definitely a private dorm, for it had a bed, kitchen, lounge and a bathroom. Nadair walked silently on the carpeted floor out onto a tiled floor in the kitchen, the Envious sure had luxury to put detail into such a room. Nadair found a small fridge embedded underneath the bench and lunged for it, hungrily hoping something was in there. Nudging the door, he finally got it open to only find a few small cases of milk and a giant glass of water. Frustrated, he snorted unimpressed that this fridge could not supply him with lovely meals. Nadair sat and began to scratch his neck with his back leg like a dog; his collar clinked as he scratched. Looking around there wasn’t much else to explore in this room, and the front door was shut, he would have to wait for Mark to rest before going anywhere else. Defeated, he sighed boredly and tried to crawl back onto the highly elevated bed, circling he lay down at Mark's feet and closed his eyes gently.
Nadair was awakened by shuffling, and he looked up suddenly to see Mark snapping on the last of his armor. He was awake! Finally Nadair could explore this ship and find something to eat. Mark grinned and petted Nadairs head. "Coming then?" He asked as he walked towards the door. Nadair didn’t think twice and bolted towards the door gleefully. Mark opened it and walked out, Nadair followed alongside Mark down the hall, two marines followed behind chatting to each other about a gun of some sort, Nadair looked behind to find one staring at him and Mark strangely and shaking his head. Mark kept following the same signs, Nadair read one saying "Command console", Obviously he wasn’t going to the cafeteria, Nadair sighed unhappily, he would have to wait for food then, he trotted steadily beside Mark as they passed through automatic glass sliding doors and up some stairs into what looked like the communications room, glittered with computer screens and buttons flashing, marines sat talking and pressing buttons continuously. Mark and Nadair proceeded up another few stairs to another platform with a command chair in the center, "I was asked to proceed here immediately when ready" Mark instructed as two marines approached, they glared at Nadair. Obviously his kind wasn’t much of a good impression. "He’s with me" Mark said, and the marines looked at Mark. "The commander will be with you in a second".
Mark stood like a statue as he waited, Nadair sat down and waited, he hated standing around waiting for things, his stomach had other plans, it growled deeply, enough for marines to turn at him carefully. Mark looked down at Nadair and gave a slight smile then winked, obviously it meant after this they would take a trip to the cafeteria! Nadair wagged his stubby tail and smiled excitedly. Food! At last, it’s been hours since he ate. A well built marine logged out of the command chair, he had a scar along his cheek bone, his hair brown with a few strands of gray, the man was definitely in his 40's. Grinning, the commander shook Mark's hand. "Commander Garrison" he said grinning, "good to see a survivor, you’re lucky you lived," he said. Mark smirked and replied "Only lucky when dead sir, you’ll only find peace then." The commander laughed and walked to the front of the ship, Mark and Nadair followed, "You have a strange pet Mark Foley" the commander said, facing his attention on Nadair. "It was our commanders son's pet sir" Mark replied. The commander looked at Mark seriously. "You have heard about what happened on Hera haven’t you?" The commander asked. "Yes sir, but this is definitely different, for the boy on Hera was converted by aliens, this kharaa was converted by humans" Mark said. The commanders mouth didn’t move to a smile. "Let's hope so," he replied. Nadair called and gargled at the commander, he liked this man, he was careful, yet funny. He was like his masters dad, only a little more serious.
"Is there any reason why you wanted to see me sir?" Mark asked. "Well, mostly to see for myself a survivor from an attack of kharaa." "I'm not a hero, sir." Mark said sadly. "I know that, but you are a survivor, and I am going to transfer you over under the command of Simmons, he has oddly taking a liking to your gorge and requested this. He said something about your gorge being an advantage in combat with these kharaa" the commander said grinning curiously. Mark smiled, "Nadair likes to help where he can sir." "Indeed," the commander replied, patting Nadair on the head gently. "He seems a very friendly sort. You can go now Mark, report to Simmons at 17:00 in the training center sector 42B, that is all." The commander saluted, and quickly returned to his position in the command chair. Mark looked down at Nadair. "Hungry eh?" He asked. Nadair gargled excitedly; it was like Mark read his mind... or his belly.
Comments
I am serious about this, I can find no flaws with your story. No grammer mistakes, or any thing that I could nitpick on. Must be the editing.
It was amazing how well you managed to describe the scenes, the gigantic whale-like creatures, as well as how cute Nadair is, esp the scratching-with-leg-part.
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I am serious about this, I can find no flaws with your story. No grammer mistakes, or any thing that I could nitpick on. Must be the editing.
It was amazing how well you managed to describe the scenes, the gigantic whale-like creatures, as well as how cute Nadair is, esp the scratching-with-leg-part.
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
OMG!!! your the first person to finally spell Nadair's name right!!!! *hugs you*
rofl
yeah thx i am glad you like the story
now heres some facts about the story so far
<b>Facts</b>
<b>1 -</b>Planet Nethius was actually created way before this story, it was infact created when the whale Gauntus was created for a concept art cow entry. Which I scrapped and desided to make the Gauntus's feeding supply the cow entry which is the Pygmy Rhumarh (picture deleted)
<b>2-</b>Nadair is not male, nor female, but is classed as a he, as all kharaa are considering they have no male/female genitalia to tell the difference, or from what i know any internal genitalia.
<b>3-</b> Nadair's name is pronounced (nad- air)
<b>4-</b> Nadair had his building organs removed, along with his recourse organs so he wouldnt bloat, Nadair had an organ removed which will prevent him from dying when the hive dies. It was a successful experiment to give everlasting life to an alien when the hive died incase the kharaa were needed.
<b>5-</b> Mark was second under command, Nadairs master's father was the commander, which is why Mark was respected by Simmons because his position changed to commander once the commander died. But upon arrival on Envious his position changed again because there was already a commander. If Simmons did not ask for Mark to be put in his team, Mark would have dropped to Private position, rendering him back into training. Transferring under command of Simmons his position only drops 3 places, from commander to Major
<b>6-</b> Simmons is infact a luitenant Major.
<b>7-</b> Nadairs eyes arent red, instead his eyes changed when his killing instict was removed with memory removing strategies.
<b>8-</b> The Envious was going to be named after an official ship ns_nancy, but i decided it should be called something else
<b>9-</b> The envious is infact a battleship, one of the few, it can hold over 20 fighter ships, along with 10 support ships for planet use. Envious can hold over 200,000 marines onboard. Envious holds 15 turrets on each side, 8 guns on its belly, 12 on its top, and has 6 giant guns able to destroy giant meteors, 2 placed on the front top and back of the battleship they are used for combat against other battle ships.
<b>10-</b> planet nethius, the planet itself is known to have a faint
bluish pink tinge during the day or evening/afternoons in the skies. the landscape more gentle than that on earth, with the gravity less than that of planet earth at certain altitudes, which is the reason whales can fly. Nethius is the new planet in plans for human populations to again rise, since planet eath was too overpopulated, people moved to new systems to live on other compatible planets. Nethius is all green, because of the planet being 80% water and little human damage, it rains frequently.
<b>11-</b> The reason teh station was planted on planet Nethius was to further study the kharaa, but it was also a study unit for planet Nethius native animals also. It was also a study facility for humans to adapt to their new world, and for the first few humans to live on Nethius. Which explains why there were children and women in the science facility apart from those who worked as marines/scientists etc.
<b>End of facts</b>
thats for anyone who was curious or confused about anything so far <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Good background info.
I hope you extend your story to be as long as, or even longer than 20 chapters!!! Much can be done using those background information.
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<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Anyway, can't wait for part 6 Kylie, I'm sure it'll be as awesome as all the other parts. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
awwww..
Btw, were those whales flying??
good story!! I assume Chapter 6 will be just as long and enjoying as this one?
awwww..
Btw, were those whales flying??
good story!! I assume Chapter 6 will be just as long and enjoying as this one? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
yes <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> read the facts <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> it explains what they were sorta. if you want better bio of the gauntus here
cloud dweller
Gauntus
movement- graceful, swimming like motion,gentle and silent. whale like calls.
looks- pale colours, with a tint of other faint pretty colours, beautiful and magestic. all so gentle and shy. extremely tolerant.
size- gigantic, 8 times larger than a plane not too bulky
food- sips at clouds, preffers the soft fluffy ones, but will travel far distances to drink the storm clouds filled with water and ice. feeds on Pygmy rhumarh filtering them through its enourmous mouth like a whale on earth does with seamonkies.
trait- been known to be the cause of sudden twisters.
although rarely startled, can suddenly go on a high speed flight, to cause a twister beneath it with the sudden change of turn in the wind in the sky.
population- in the mere hundreds
breeding- because of their size, they have one calf every 8-13 years they will have only two calfs at the most in their entrie life time. the gestations period is 8 years beforre giving birth.
length of life- these gentle beasts can live for 300 years
predators- known predators are dragons and other sky dwelling predators which attack in groups. one carcass would feed a pack of dragons for over 1 year, due to their size, they manage to create great craters on the planets surface.
habitat- surviving on one of the largest planets, called planet nethius, the planet itself is known to have a faint bluish pink tinge during the day or evening/afternoons. the landscape more gentle than that on earth, is also a new location for the ever so overpopulating humans, which now live on nethius. the giant beasts rarely land, and stay skybourn, with the changes of gravity at certain heights in the planet, they manage to stay in the air whilst sleeping at extremely high altitudes, common flights to other cities on nethius can cross past the rare herds, which can give a graceful sight at seeing these creatures up close.. because of their gentle nature, they do not startle when planes pass by. Many humans consider these beasts as sacred animals, gods guardians on the skies. beleived to guard the gates of heaven, and will only let the worthy pass through the gates of heaven.
And reading about Nadair's hunger made me hungry <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I so want a fluffy for a pet.
How does kyliegirl churn out such good chapters so fast?
Great chapter. Good use of language, descriptive environment, wonderful atmosphere. When Nadair left the planet, the moment seemed.... uplifting somehow. For me, Mark has been established as the mentor/father-figure. Great work on the character development.
You're as good in writing as you are in art.
I am serious about this, I can find no flaws with your story. No grammer mistakes, or any thing that I could nitpick on. Must be the editing.
It was amazing how well you managed to describe the scenes, the gigantic whale-like creatures, as well as how cute Nadair is, esp the scratching-with-leg-part.
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
"the door gave a last clang as it set itself tightly pressed itself onto the ship"
I couldn't resist. Since this has got such good reviews I will be giving this a read some time soonish.
Understand how you feel. I 've experienced something similar before. Lost several major chapters of Behemoth, I nv could rewrite them the same way again <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->