<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.”
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* “especially patriotic films”
192. The proper response to a briefing is not “That's what you think”.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
there are a few funny ones <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
This is going out in an e-mail to everyone I know. (3 people)
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> o_0
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Damn. Guess I'm not joining the tank squad now. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->20. Must not taunt the French any more. 77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." 104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination. 129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders. 174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy). 200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car. 201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad. 210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> hehehe... I can't believe he tried all these (or at least asked about them)
X_StickmanNot good enough for a custom title.Join Date: 2003-04-15Member: 15533Members, Constellation
While this is old, is it actually true? I can't see any one man trying all that stuff without being demoted at least. Funny as the home of the devil, though (hell, you see).
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." 102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". 154. Shouldn't treat “****-bottles” with extra-strength icy hot.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-camel fetus+Sep 9 2004, 07:57 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camel fetus @ Sep 9 2004, 07:57 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." 102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". 154. Shouldn't treat “****-bottles” with extra-strength icy hot.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Heh.. that starwars line will never get old.
And what's with the signature? Guinness Draught? Extra Stout is where it's at! <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> ROFL, he forgot metric westcott wrenches and cam-net patches <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
lol... that one always gets me...
these things never get old. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 148. Putting red “Mike and Ike's” ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
163. Take that hat off.
165. I do not get “that time of month”.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.
197. I am not allowed to sing “Henry the VIII I am” until verse 68 ever again.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Wonderfully hilarious.
Haha, these are all great. I loved them the first few times I saw them, and they're still good now <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-eediot+Sep 10 2004, 06:40 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (eediot @ Sep 10 2004, 06:40 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> P.S. nice name Chuckles <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I get that all the time, but thanks <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> . Offtopic, but lets see who knows where I got my name from
That_Annoying_KidSire of TitlesJoin Date: 2003-03-01Member: 14175Members, Constellation
I've seen this list before, but it's still gold
and I'm re reading it <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
edit: never mind
edit2: Un-never mind. I can vouch for this one. Pretty much everything is banned in a classified area.
Comments
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.”
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* “especially patriotic films”
192. The proper response to a briefing is not “That's what you think”.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
there are a few funny ones <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> o_0
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Damn. Guess I'm not joining the tank squad now. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
hehehe... I can't believe he tried all these (or at least asked about them)
The site is back!
BEST ONE THERE!
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
154. Shouldn't treat “****-bottles” with extra-strength icy hot.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
154. Shouldn't treat “****-bottles” with extra-strength icy hot.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Heh.. that starwars line will never get old.
And what's with the signature? Guinness Draught? Extra Stout is where it's at! <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
ROFL, he forgot metric westcott wrenches and cam-net patches <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
lol... that one always gets me...
these things never get old. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Isn't the Re-post time limit something like 6 months?
Damned funny though. Cool to see the return of the website.
148. Putting red “Mike and Ike's” ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
163. Take that hat off.
165. I do not get “that time of month”.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.
197. I am not allowed to sing “Henry the VIII I am” until verse 68 ever again.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
oh my god. best thing ever.
138. Even if my commander did it.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Wonderfully hilarious.
P.S. nice name Chuckles
I get that all the time, but thanks <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> . Offtopic, but lets see who knows where I got my name from
and I'm re reading it <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
edit: never mind
edit2: Un-never mind. I can vouch for this one. Pretty much everything is banned in a classified area.