A Story Of Love.
Scythe
Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 46NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation, Reinforced - Silver
Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 46NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation, Reinforced - Silver
This thread has no real set topic of discussion. I just wanted to get this down on paper to get an outsider’s view.
Some background first: We went to the same high-school and we were in the same form class. It wasn’t until year eleven (Aussie high schools start in year eight) that I started taking notice of her. A friend of hers and a friend of mine started seeing each other so we started sitting together as a group. Roughly at the start of year twelve I started to take even more notice of her, vying for her attention, sitting next to her in classes and so forth. Typical hormone-driven teenager stuff. ^_^
About half way though the year I heard in a conversation that she had gotten together with a boyfriend in Brisbane. Which is five hundred and fifty kilometres from where we lived at the time. I took this news pretty badly. I kept my distance from her from then on. If she was interested in someone else I wasn’t about to cut anyone’s lunch. I was contemplating asking her to the end of school prom but that was now not possible as he was supposed to be coming up from Brisbane and arrive at the prom in a limousine.
About three half way though year 12 I starting picking up signals that the Brisbane fellow was out of the picture. Nothing specific, just that she was showing a little warmth towards me and there were some meaningful looks exchanged amongst her friends when the topic of relationships arose. My suspicious were confirmed one day when one of her friends said that Michelle had told her to ask me to ask her (Michelle) to the prom. (Ugh, what a horrid sentence)
So I did.
We went to the prom arm-in-arm, arriving (With another two couples, great friends all) in a white limousine. We were the only ones with a limo as the entire limo population of Gladstone had gone away for a service except this one. Woo. A splendid night was had by all.
Now came the after-prom. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s basically an event in which copious amounts of alcohol and other, less regulated consumables get consumed.
A little background on myself: I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t gamble, I avoid swearing and I believe that self-control and loyalty are some of the most important attributes of any human.
I only went to the after-prom to keep an eye on Michelle. It was held in someone’s backyard. It was raining, there were people vomiting left and right, there were people smoking something illicit, there was horridly loud pop “music” blaring. Not my kind of scene. I was going to stay there, though hell or high vomit, to make sure Michelle was OK. After about forty-five minutes Michelle had had a little too much to drink and started dancing with one of the sleaziest blokes in the school. I held myself in check. Nothing wrong with dancing.
But when he started asking for more, that’s where I intervened. I borrowed a friend’s mobile phone and called my dad. This was at 2240 on a rainy night and he drove the fifteen minutes over to this place to pick us up. It’s times like these you really appreciate the fact that your parents love you.
One of my best mates, Carl, and I managed to convince Michelle that we were going to another party and we frog-marched her off to the car. She refused the sleazebag’s offers of “a goodbye kiss”, I was quite proud of her at this point. ^_^
So we all sat, cramped and cold in this car. Michelle, Carl and his date (Great friend too) and myself. Michelle asked Carl if he would pass her another cruiser (An alcoholic cordial). He got one out of the bag and fiddled with it for a minute. He passed it to me and said “Ed, I’m having trouble taking this lid off, could you give it a go?”. (My friends call me Ed, my real name’s Travis. Don’t ask.) I knew Carl well enough (Since we were two year old) to read between the lines and I pocketed the bottle.
So we dropped off the pair of ladies at Carl’s date’s place and dropped Carl at his place. When I finally got home I fell into bed and was asleep before I hit the pillow.
Three days after the prom we went to Carl’s beach house for a few days. Days on end with nothing to do but loaf around on the veranda and go fishing. This was bliss after exam revision hell. Michelle and I slept in the living room with another couple people on separate mattresses. On the second day Michelle gave me a peck on the cheek. It caught me totally unawares and I spent the next couple minutes in a bit of a daze. The next night the furniture was a little more… mobile.
We then went to the <a href='http://www.whitsundaytourism.com/' target='_blank'>Whitsunday's</a> for “Schoolies week” with a group of close friends. For those of you not in the know, Schoolies week is a week of loud music and (largely) underage boozing that police tend to take an attitude of “It’s going to happen anyway, it may as well be monitored” towards. Though a booking mishap we turned up the week after schoolies, much to my relief. Michelle and I shared a room for the week we were there.
Michelle was planning to go to a university in Brisbane and that influenced my choice of university just a wee bit. I chose a university in Brisbane too. Though a different one. Michelle was studying law, I was studying engineering. We lived apart for a year, seeing each-other at least 3-4 times per week and she was allowed to sleep over on weekends. We decided about early in the year that we would move in together at the start of 2004.
That we did. We’re now living in a smallish unit in a slightly up-town suburb in Brisbane and things are going swell. All these horrid tragic conflicts that are supposed to plague relationships if the concerned parties share accommodation were non-issues. Sure we had the occasional tiff but nothing serious. I enjoy cooking so much I do it almost every night and she likes grocery shopping and does the cleaning up around the unit.
So far we’ve been together for 16 months and are showing no signs of letting up. We love each-other dearly and savour every moment we’re together.
Now I ask you lot, because it’s confused the hell out of me, what makes us so special? Michelle’s my first ever love interest, we’re both eighteen. The statistics are weighted heavily against us and yet we’re as inseparable as two components of a binary epoxy glue.
I posted this here because the usual denizens of the discussion forum are above standard when it comes to maturity. I suspect if I posted this in off topic I would get twenty posts along the lines of :
“OLOCOOL! GOT PIX??”
--Scythe--
P.S. I got Michelle to read though this before I posted it. Some alterations were made. ^_^
Some background first: We went to the same high-school and we were in the same form class. It wasn’t until year eleven (Aussie high schools start in year eight) that I started taking notice of her. A friend of hers and a friend of mine started seeing each other so we started sitting together as a group. Roughly at the start of year twelve I started to take even more notice of her, vying for her attention, sitting next to her in classes and so forth. Typical hormone-driven teenager stuff. ^_^
About half way though the year I heard in a conversation that she had gotten together with a boyfriend in Brisbane. Which is five hundred and fifty kilometres from where we lived at the time. I took this news pretty badly. I kept my distance from her from then on. If she was interested in someone else I wasn’t about to cut anyone’s lunch. I was contemplating asking her to the end of school prom but that was now not possible as he was supposed to be coming up from Brisbane and arrive at the prom in a limousine.
About three half way though year 12 I starting picking up signals that the Brisbane fellow was out of the picture. Nothing specific, just that she was showing a little warmth towards me and there were some meaningful looks exchanged amongst her friends when the topic of relationships arose. My suspicious were confirmed one day when one of her friends said that Michelle had told her to ask me to ask her (Michelle) to the prom. (Ugh, what a horrid sentence)
So I did.
We went to the prom arm-in-arm, arriving (With another two couples, great friends all) in a white limousine. We were the only ones with a limo as the entire limo population of Gladstone had gone away for a service except this one. Woo. A splendid night was had by all.
Now came the after-prom. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s basically an event in which copious amounts of alcohol and other, less regulated consumables get consumed.
A little background on myself: I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t gamble, I avoid swearing and I believe that self-control and loyalty are some of the most important attributes of any human.
I only went to the after-prom to keep an eye on Michelle. It was held in someone’s backyard. It was raining, there were people vomiting left and right, there were people smoking something illicit, there was horridly loud pop “music” blaring. Not my kind of scene. I was going to stay there, though hell or high vomit, to make sure Michelle was OK. After about forty-five minutes Michelle had had a little too much to drink and started dancing with one of the sleaziest blokes in the school. I held myself in check. Nothing wrong with dancing.
But when he started asking for more, that’s where I intervened. I borrowed a friend’s mobile phone and called my dad. This was at 2240 on a rainy night and he drove the fifteen minutes over to this place to pick us up. It’s times like these you really appreciate the fact that your parents love you.
One of my best mates, Carl, and I managed to convince Michelle that we were going to another party and we frog-marched her off to the car. She refused the sleazebag’s offers of “a goodbye kiss”, I was quite proud of her at this point. ^_^
So we all sat, cramped and cold in this car. Michelle, Carl and his date (Great friend too) and myself. Michelle asked Carl if he would pass her another cruiser (An alcoholic cordial). He got one out of the bag and fiddled with it for a minute. He passed it to me and said “Ed, I’m having trouble taking this lid off, could you give it a go?”. (My friends call me Ed, my real name’s Travis. Don’t ask.) I knew Carl well enough (Since we were two year old) to read between the lines and I pocketed the bottle.
So we dropped off the pair of ladies at Carl’s date’s place and dropped Carl at his place. When I finally got home I fell into bed and was asleep before I hit the pillow.
Three days after the prom we went to Carl’s beach house for a few days. Days on end with nothing to do but loaf around on the veranda and go fishing. This was bliss after exam revision hell. Michelle and I slept in the living room with another couple people on separate mattresses. On the second day Michelle gave me a peck on the cheek. It caught me totally unawares and I spent the next couple minutes in a bit of a daze. The next night the furniture was a little more… mobile.
We then went to the <a href='http://www.whitsundaytourism.com/' target='_blank'>Whitsunday's</a> for “Schoolies week” with a group of close friends. For those of you not in the know, Schoolies week is a week of loud music and (largely) underage boozing that police tend to take an attitude of “It’s going to happen anyway, it may as well be monitored” towards. Though a booking mishap we turned up the week after schoolies, much to my relief. Michelle and I shared a room for the week we were there.
Michelle was planning to go to a university in Brisbane and that influenced my choice of university just a wee bit. I chose a university in Brisbane too. Though a different one. Michelle was studying law, I was studying engineering. We lived apart for a year, seeing each-other at least 3-4 times per week and she was allowed to sleep over on weekends. We decided about early in the year that we would move in together at the start of 2004.
That we did. We’re now living in a smallish unit in a slightly up-town suburb in Brisbane and things are going swell. All these horrid tragic conflicts that are supposed to plague relationships if the concerned parties share accommodation were non-issues. Sure we had the occasional tiff but nothing serious. I enjoy cooking so much I do it almost every night and she likes grocery shopping and does the cleaning up around the unit.
So far we’ve been together for 16 months and are showing no signs of letting up. We love each-other dearly and savour every moment we’re together.
Now I ask you lot, because it’s confused the hell out of me, what makes us so special? Michelle’s my first ever love interest, we’re both eighteen. The statistics are weighted heavily against us and yet we’re as inseparable as two components of a binary epoxy glue.
I posted this here because the usual denizens of the discussion forum are above standard when it comes to maturity. I suspect if I posted this in off topic I would get twenty posts along the lines of :
“OLOCOOL! GOT PIX??”
--Scythe--
P.S. I got Michelle to read though this before I posted it. Some alterations were made. ^_^
Comments
i think thats your answer. you, unlike all those other "boyfriends" weren't out to get a girl but a true friend. so naturally there's a strong and thoughtful relationship between you avoiding all the usual unnicities (sp?).
good luck together <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
That said, at the moment I find myself wandering down a similar path, I'd like to think it will turn out as well as it has for you two.
PS. hi Michelle <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
1) You're young. Statistically bad - you're still learning and defining yourself. That's not to say that you ever stop, but after a certain point - which varies for each and every person - the changes become more subtle.
2) You started out the right way: You were a true friend. You have developed that friendship, deepened it. Good.
3) To be perfectly honest, it doesn't sound like you have yet faced the harsh challenges that life will throw between you. My parents used to tell me that "Love is a decision." I didn't understand that until I had been married for several years. I really don't know how to communicate this; the best I can do is the following: The more you go through <i>together</i>, the stronger you will be.
4) No matter how much you think you "love" the other person, don't get married and have kids off the bat. If you're going to do justice to the children, you will sacrifice your life, your hopes, your dreams, your time, your money - <i>everything</i> for them until they are old enough to be on their own. And unless you are some kind of superhero, you will have to fight <i>very</i> hard to keep from resenting them.
5) If you love the other person, you will do whatever is best for the other person. This is <i>not</i> necessarily the same thing as what the other person wants.
6) If you're thinking about marriage, talk to a marriage councilor first. Trust me, you'll each bring so many assumptions into the marriage that it'll damn-near kill you if you don't at least get them out in the air beforehand.
7) Don't screw around before you get married. Another statistical thing, but also one that I've seen bring much grief to people. It just seems to work better that way.
I'd wish you luck, but in this game, there's no such thing. So I say instead, let your patience be infinite, your temper long and your ears always open. May your eyes be aware, your hands gentle and last but not least, may the love you two share deepen and link you in ways you never imagined.
--Scythe--
I think its the fact y'all are actually in love (instead of that cheezy reality tv love that, sadly, most of society conciders love.). You seem to care for her, as shown through the story you shared with us.
Y'alls love is true, and not based around that lust crap you see in tv and movies. As Ari said, you were a true friend in the begining. I think that is the best backbone for a relationship.
Well, I feel better knowing that there are people in the world who truely care for each other. I wish you the best of luck for your future!
Oh, forgot to add...
OLOCOOL! GOT PIX??
Eh, not really.
i think thats your answer. you, unlike all those other "boyfriends" weren't out to get a girl but a true friend. so naturally there's a strong and thoughtful relationship between you avoiding all the usual unnicities (sp?). <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Maxious, you've got it in one. I couldn't agree more.
Scythe, you're like a non-religious version of many of my friends. I could, (were I a gambler) stake a large wager on you and Michelle being happy together for a very long time...
I'd post more, but you are getting impatient for en ess (and I've run out of non-spammy stuff to say <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
-- Codeman
Your situation doesn't seem that special. You were / are obviously the type of guy that wouldn't get involved with just any old girly, and you haven't been with her for <i>that</i> long - 16 months doesn't equal assured fidelity. After all, there's no one person for each of us.
Note: not meaning to bring you down or anything, I'm very happy for you. Very happy for anyone, regardless of creed, religion or odour - I'm just a <i>nice guy!</i> Hugs!
And hey, if you're still together in ten years, that'll be magic.
Well dont rush into marrying her and you'll live a good life. Good Luck Have fun <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo-->
my unwarranted advice: have fun. have fun have fun have fun have fun have fun. and don't stop. because it'll feel like you're in your 40s and married if you let things slide :o
You're a good man. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
good it hear it man, best of wishes to the both of you bums
we lose another brave soul to the blissful world of the women
YOU WILL FIGHT. Yes, that's right. Not only will you fight, you'll be shouting and ready to question ever getting into the relationship. Don't believe me? Just take a leap of faith. It will happen. This isn't to say you should leave her. Quite contrary, these are the things that define your relationship and make them so special.
I like to compare relationships to a hay ride on a bumpy road. There are going to be bumps. The question is just if you and Michelle are willing to take the bumps or jump off the hayride. Just don't give up so easily when you hit those bumps, and remember to ALWAYS give a day or two to cool down before you make any decisions about your relationship regardless of how much you think you are "rational."
And oh, welcome to the club of spoken-for men.
It's not what happens - it's how you deal with it. And sometimes what seems like the worst possible scenario is the one that is the best for your relationship.
I'll use the example of myself and Maggie (my fiancee). We met just over a year ago, last January, though I had noticed her before that. At the time she was dating someone else, but she and I became good friends, talking all the time, especially over the summer. The person she was dating proved himself more and more an **** over time, and towards the end of the summer broke up with her (online, no less) because of an event that had happened at the start of their relationship involving her ex-boyfriend (who had kissed her, once, without her permission, which she promptly flipped out about immediately afterwards). He could have cared less at that point, but she was devastated. Up to that point, she had never felt so strongly about anyone she had ever dated. I did what I could to comfort her online, but it took her some time to move on.
Now here's the fun part. I had fallen in love with her during this time. I considered her one of my better friends and trusted her more than almost anyone else I knew. It then bothered me that I had these feelings for her and didn't say anything about it. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I felt like I was deliberately hiding something from her and was really uncomfortable about it. So, thinking as logically as any young man in love can, I decided to tell her. I invited her over to my dorm room because I wanted to tell her something, which of course thoroughly confused her. On the night of August 25th, she met me in the courtyard next to my dorm.
I never said a word of what I meant to say.
However, we stayed there talking and whatnot until about 2:30 am (she had arrived at about 10:30 or so). She told me later I didn't even have to say it, because she knew the second she got there what I had intended to say. And she tells me now that she fell in love with me that night but just didn't fully realize it at the time.
Problem is, she was still hung up on the ex-boyfriend, and bigger problem was she spent a lot of time over at his place hanging out with the other guys that live there. Her ex-boyfriend, formerly straight-edge, had turned into a drunken ****, and his friends/roommates (with the exception of 1 Maggie knew from high school) quickly turned on her from being warped by only one side of the story. Her ex-boyfriend in particular used the fact that she was still not over him to wring out every last ounce of emotional damage he could. While the first week after she first came over to 'talk' was magical (our first kiss was August 27th, the date we officially selected as our dating anniversary), the first two months as a whole were were very rocky. She often spent time at "the house," leaving me alone in my dorm room, sometimes after we had discussed possibly doing things. I didn't even get to see her on her birthday, October 1st, since by the time our schedules finally lined up, she was over there. She technically 'broke up' with me twice during this two month span (both times within a month of each other), but each time by the end of that week we were back together as much as always. The time we did spend together was wonderful, but she was torn between new and old feelings.
There were points where I questioned giving up on her and pursuing another interest I had from the previous year. Many times I was close to just throwing my arms in the air in defeat and forgetting anything had ever happened... But I didn't. I couldn't let myself do that. I stood firm where I was, and whenever something went wrong reminding her that her ex-boyfriend cared nothing about her anymore, I was still there. She had already lost one person she cared about, and I wasn't about to make it two.
At one point, though, I 'exploded.' I went off for some time on what I thought of her ex boyfriend and what he was doing to her and how ridiculous the entire situation was. This was just prior to fall break and just after the second time we 'broke up' (though, as with the last time, it took less than 24 hours for things to revert to normal). She went back home for fall break, and suddenly everything changed. The 6 hour drive and time alone was -very- healthy for her. The day after she left, we spent most of the day on the phone with each other or talking online. When she returned, everything had changed. She came to her senses and tossed aside the **** and started putting as much (if not more) effort into loving me as I had put into loving her those first two months.
She and I have been together for 8 months as of 6 days from now, but we're already getting married this summer. We're accused of rushing into it like young fools, but the test we have stood already makes our relationship far 'older' than it in fact is.
We don't officially live together, but she spends most of her time and nights here with me. We already have our share of little spats and whatnot, always about the most worthless things in the long run, but no matter what at the end of the day we're always holding each other close in bed - unless the little disagreement happens there, in which case the second morning arrives we're back in each others' arms. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
While many of you might criticize us for this, or call it a "stupid decision" (as many have), it's interesting to note that both our parents took approximately equal periods of time to get married after they started dating, and between the two families with 4 kids and a combined 50+ years (my parents celebrating their 25th this year), I think we have a good foundation for the same. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I know Ed left out a few details - some of them I'll tell, some I'll use as blackmail for later <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I'll first off say that I don't think I've seen a more stable relationship than what Ed and Shell have. I am envious, seriously. They have the right amount of love, and lots more affection for each other.
Chemistry in Year 12 was quite a humorous year for all of our group - although Travis still hadn't plucked up the courage to <i>ask Michelle out</i>, they were serial flirters - just ask him about the battle scars when they started play-fighting with each other... In class, and at lunchtimes, these guys are inseparable.
Mind you, we (my girlfriend and I) had to basically beat him with a stick to get him to pluck up the courage to ask her to the prom.
Oh, and by the way, don't leave these guys alone, together in a place with a double bed. There's fireworks.
Oh, and Carl dated Michelle for a bit, about 2 years before Ed and Shell got together.
The reason why we call him Ed, is because of that frog dude on Rocko's modern life - Ed Bighead. It was Carl and Ed's mutual friend who graced him with that name.
I'm still very disappointed that you didn't mention me once though.
I'll add that your first love is the strongest - because you haven't suffered the pain of breakup. Of course that your first relationship, however awkward at the start, will always be a big part of your life because its a totally new emotion.
Making love work is hard to do, but don't take it for granted, you have to put some effort in now and then, like chocolates and flowers, and occasionally brushing your hair once in a blue moon <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
If Michelle and Ed didn't beat each other up so much, I would say its something of a fairytale romance come true. I think that's all I wanted to add.
Damn you jo, damn you to hell.
I should hunt you down and steal your new car's hubcaps.
--Scythe--
P.S. Yes, jo is an old friend from high school, not some random whacko.
That's why. I believe that you can't have love unless you have obstacles to conquer. The greater the challenges you overcome, the stronger your love.
That's exactly right. I don't think I could have said that better myself.
<!--QuoteBegin-Scythe+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Scythe)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Damn you jo, damn you to hell.
I should hunt you down and steal your new car's hubcaps.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You think we didn't know?!? Geez. And you don't even know where I live. I'll set the cows after you <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> The new car only has two, so that's why I'm getting mags.