The Story Of Julian. The One And Only Survivor Of The Rich Clan Airship.

Julian1337331nailuJJulian1337331nailuJ The Grand Reef Gubtorial Election Or Something. Join Date: 2016-11-12 Member: 223824Members
Day 1. The Day I Got Here. When I Woke Up I Was Immediately Surprised By The Fact About The Escape Pod Was Damaged. It Has Been Tested With Everything With No Damage But This? Impossible! I Honestly Said "What Could Have Damaged The Escape Pod? Its Impossible To Damage It!" (Please Don't Be A Gramzi And Annoy Me About My Grammar Errors.) I Sighed And Left The Escape Pod. The Aroura Was What I Saw First. "Wow. What Could Have Happened To That?" Then I Looked Behind Myself. And I Saw The Airship. When I Saw The Airship I Said "What!?!? WHAT!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE AIRSHIP!?!?" I Was Surprised. Then I Just Decided To Go Into The Water. How? Simple. Sprinting. And Jumping. When I Gone Underwater (I'm A Lucario Because Why Not.) I Saw A Warper. Then I Heard It Through My Suits Radio And It Said "Subject Detected. Main Task Switched." I Then Get My Main Stasis Cannon And I Launch It At The Warper To Get It To Stay Still So I Cant Be Launched Away. Then I Get Into The Escape Pod Then Go To Its Storage Bay. Then I Get The Base Building Kit And Just Get Back Out. Then I Start Building My Base. And It Looks A lot Different Then Everybody Else's. And Its Small At First. It Has A Basic Eternal Power Generator Model 1. The Eternal Power Generator Can Be Upgraded. I Always Have My First Models Made Without Any Materials Needed. But The Upgrades Will Take Some Materials. Despite Being Second In Command Of The Rich Clan (I Was There When It Started.) The Tools Were On Emergency Mode And You Will Need A Super Computer For Them To Be Put Off Of Emergency Mode. But That Will Need A lot Of Materials To Make. Day 2. I Got A Repair Tool After A While Of Working In The Base. When I Got It I Said "Yes! A Repair Tool!" I Then Gone To The Escape Pod To Repair It. When I Repaired It I Got A 10% Material Discount Meaning I Can Get Things Faster. But Then I Realized. I Might Have Forgotten About A Possible Explosion Chance. But It Will Take A Few More Days To Have It Explode. Episode 1 Ends Here. You Guys Can Change The Episodes. If You Want To Join Of If You Want Other Things To Happen.
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Comments

  • Julian1337331nailuJJulian1337331nailuJ The Grand Reef Gubtorial Election Or Something. Join Date: 2016-11-12 Member: 223824Members
    (Anyways The Fur Of The Lucario That Is My Character Has Green Fur And Can Breath Without Needing Air Or Anything Else. Or Food Or Water. Meaning Only Anything Deadly Could Damage My Character.)
  • SkopeSkope Wouldn't you like to know ;) Join Date: 2016-06-07 Member: 218212Members
    We don't know, just let him do his thing, it'll be better for everyone.
  • DaveyNYDaveyNY Schenectady, NY Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221903Members
    edited November 2016
    Skope wrote: »
    We don't know, just let him do his thing, it'll be better for everyone.

    Smile, Nod and move along...
    B)
  • HiSaZuLHiSaZuL N.Y. Join Date: 2016-11-11 Member: 223803Members
    The Case Of Eye Gouging Hell, Is Making My Eyeballs Bleed.
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    edited November 2016
    Day 1. The Day I Got Here. When I Woke Up I Was Immediately Surprised By The Fact About The Escape Pod Was Damaged. It Has Been Tested With Everything With No Damage But This? Impossible! I Honestly Said "What Could Have Damaged The Escape Pod? Its Impossible To Damage It!" (Please Don't Be A Gramzi And Annoy Me About My Grammar Errors.) I Sighed And Left The Escape Pod.

    The Aroura Was What I Saw First. "Wow. What Could Have Happened To That?" Then I Looked Behind Myself. And I Saw The Airship. When I Saw The Airship I Said "What!?!? WHAT!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE AIRSHIP!?!?" I Was Surprised. Then I Just Decided To Go Into The Water. How? Simple. Sprinting. And Jumping. When I Gone Underwater (I'm A Lucario Because Why Not.) I Saw A Warper. Then I Heard It Through My Suits Radio And It Said "Subject Detected. Main Task Switched." I Then Get My Main Stasis Cannon And I Launch It At The Warper To Get It To Stay Still So I Cant Be Launched Away. Then I Get Into The Escape Pod Then Go To Its Storage Bay. Then I Get The Base Building Kit And Just Get Back Out. Then I Start Building My Base.

    It Looks A lot Different Then Everybody Else's. And Its Small At First. It Has A Basic Eternal Power Generator Model 1. The Eternal Power Generator Can Be Upgraded. I Always Have My First Models Made Without Any Materials Needed. But The Upgrades Will Take Some Materials. Despite Being Second In Command Of The Rich Clan (I Was There When It Started.) The Tools Were On Emergency Mode And You Will Need A Super Computer For Them To Be Put Off Of Emergency Mode. But That Will Need A lot Of Materials To Make.

    Day 2. I Got A Repair Tool After A While Of Working In The Base. When I Got It I Said "Yes! A Repair Tool!" I Then Gone To The Escape Pod To Repair It. When I Repaired It I Got A 10% Material Discount Meaning I Can Get Things Faster. But Then I Realized. I Might Have Forgotten About A Possible Explosion Chance. But It Will Take A Few More Days To Have It Explode.

    Episode 1 Ends Here. You Guys Can Change The Episodes. If You Want To Join Of If You Want Other Things To Happen.


    I put it into paragraphs in case anyone would want to read this text wall

    P.s DONT START EVERY WORD WITH A CAPITAL, IT LOOKS WEIRD AND TRIGGERS ME!
  • TenebrousNovaTenebrousNova England Join Date: 2015-12-23 Member: 210206Members
    A tale worthy of fanfiction.net.
  • subnauticambriansubnauticambrian U.S. Join Date: 2016-01-19 Member: 211679Members
    A tale worthy of fanfiction.net.

    I'm gonna try to translate it into plain english- with punctuation and everything!
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    A tale worthy of fanfiction.net.

    I'm gonna try to translate it into plain english- with punctuation and everything!

    Feel free to use my paragraphed version as a starting point
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    @subnauticambrian you have done the lords work mate
  • Julian1337331nailuJJulian1337331nailuJ The Grand Reef Gubtorial Election Or Something. Join Date: 2016-11-12 Member: 223824Members
    (DONT MESS UP MY STYLE!!! Also. I'm Back From School.)
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    Also. I'm Back From School.)

    Explains the strange sentence structure and why your character is a Pokemon
  • TenebrousNovaTenebrousNova England Join Date: 2015-12-23 Member: 210206Members
    (DONT MESS UP MY STYLE!!! Also. I'm Back From School.)

    He didn't mess it up, he made it readable. You might want to thank him.
    Capitalising the first letter of each word makes sentences frustrating to read. It would be more tedious to type out anyway, so why bother?
  • Julian1337331nailuJJulian1337331nailuJ The Grand Reef Gubtorial Election Or Something. Join Date: 2016-11-12 Member: 223824Members
    (Oh. An Error Has Occurred In My Soul. Restarting.)
  • jpinardjpinard Join Date: 2016-09-17 Member: 222373Members
    Julian - do your parents know what you do?
  • 0x6A72320x6A7232 US Join Date: 2016-10-06 Member: 222906Members
    @Julian1337331nailuJ -- listen, far be it from me to cramp your style, but how would you like it if we all loved speaking in Pig Latin, and you didn't, and it was extremely hard for you to process what we were saying?

    As an example, I translated your story into Pig Latin, as you can see you can understand it if you try hard enough but it is frustrating:
    ay-Day 1. e-Thay ay-Day I-way ot-Gay ere-Hay. en-Whay I-way oke-Way Up-way I-way as-Way Immediately-way urprised-Say y-Bay e-Thay act-Fay About-way e-Thay Escape-way od-Pay as-Way amaged-Day. It-way as-Hay een-Bay ested-Tay ith-Way Everything-way ith-Way o-Nay amage-Day ut-Bay is-Thay? Impossible-way! I-way onestly-Hay aid-Say "What ould-Cay ave-Hay amaged-Day e-Thay Escape-way od-Pay? Its-way Impossible-way o-Tay amage-Day It!" (Please Don't e-Bay A-way amzi-Gray And-way Annoy-way e-May About-way y-May ammar-Gray Errors.) I-way ighed-Say And-way eft-Lay e-Thay Escape-way od-Pay. e-Thay Aroura-way as-Way at-Whay I-way aw-Say irst-Fay. "Wow. at-Whay ould-Cay ave-Hay appened-Hay o-Tay That?" en-Thay I-way ooked-Lay ehind-Bay yself-May. And-way I-way aw-Say e-Thay Airship-way. en-Whay I-way aw-Say e-Thay Airship-way I-way aid-Say "What!?!? WHAT!?!? AT-WHay APPENED-Hay O-Tay E-THay AIRSHIP!?!?" I-way as-Way urprised-Say. en-Thay I-way ust-Jay ecided-Day o-Tay o-Gay Into-way e-Thay ater-Way. ow-Hay? imple-Say. inting-Spray. And-way umping-Jay. en-Whay I-way one-Gay Underwater-way (I'm A-way ucario-Lay ecause-Bay y-Whay Not.) I-way aw-Say A-way arper-Way. en-Thay I-way eard-Hay It-way ough-Thray y-May uits-Say adio-Ray And-way It-way aid-Say "Subject etected-Day. ain-May ask-Tay Switched." I-way en-Thay et-Gay y-May ain-May asis-Stay annon-Cay And-way I-way aunch-Lay It-way At-way e-Thay arper-Way o-Tay et-Gay It-way o-Tay ay-Stay ill-Stay o-Say I-way ant-Cay e-Bay aunched-Lay Away-way. en-Thay I-way et-Gay Into-way e-Thay Escape-way od-Pay en-Thay o-Gay o-Tay Its-way orage-Stay ay-Bay. en-Thay I-way et-Gay e-Thay ase-Bay uilding-Bay it-Kay And-way ust-Jay et-Gay ack-Bay Out-way. en-Thay I-way art-Stay uilding-Bay y-May ase-Bay. And-way It-way ooks-Lay A-way ot-lay ifferent-Day en-Thay Everybody-way Else's. And-way Its-way all-Smay At-way irst-Fay. It-way as-Hay A-way asic-Bay Eternal-way ower-Pay enerator-Gay odel-May 1. e-Thay Eternal-way ower-Pay enerator-Gay an-Cay e-Bay Upgraded-way. I-way Always-way ave-Hay y-May irst-Fay odels-May ade-May ithout-Way Any-way aterials-May eeded-Nay. ut-Bay e-Thay Upgrades-way ill-Way ake-Tay ome-Say aterials-May. espite-Day eing-Bay econd-Say In-way ommand-Cay Of-way e-Thay ich-Ray an-Clay (I as-Way ere-Thay en-Whay It-way Started.) e-Thay ools-Tay ere-Way On-way Emergency-way ode-May And-way ou-Yay ill-Way eed-Nay A-way uper-Say omputer-Cay or-Fay em-Thay o-Tay e-Bay ut-Pay Off-way Of-way Emergency-way ode-May. ut-Bay at-Thay ill-Way eed-Nay A-way ot-lay Of-way aterials-May o-Tay ake-May. ay-Day 2. I-way ot-Gay A-way epair-Ray ool-Tay After-way A-way ile-Whay Of-way orking-Way In-way e-Thay ase-Bay. en-Whay I-way ot-Gay It-way I-way aid-Say "Yes! A-way epair-Ray Tool!" I-way en-Thay one-Gay o-Tay e-Thay Escape-way od-Pay o-Tay epair-Ray It-way. en-Whay I-way epaired-Ray It-way I-way ot-Gay A-way 10% aterial-May iscount-Day eaning-May I-way an-Cay et-Gay ings-Thay aster-Fay. ut-Bay en-Thay I-way ealized-Ray. I-way ight-May ave-Hay orgotten-Fay About-way A-way ossible-Pay Explosion-way ance-Chay. ut-Bay It-way ill-Way ake-Tay A-way ew-Fay ore-May ays-Day o-Tay ave-Hay It-way Explode-way. Episode-way 1 Ends-way ere-Hay. ou-Yay uys-Gay an-Cay ange-Chay e-Thay Episodes-way. If-way ou-Yay ant-Way o-Tay oin-Jay Of-way If-way ou-Yay ant-Way Other-way ings-Thay o-Tay appen-Hay.



    So, when you communicate with yourself, do whatever pleases you, but if you want others to easily be able to understand you, you must translate what you are saying into the common language, or you will be forcing them to do the translation. (And, as you can see from the Pig Latin, that's not always fun. Unless you regularly speak Pig Latin for fun.)
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    bmve2eyjiu8p.png

    Why was gay the first work I focussed on
  • DaveyNYDaveyNY Schenectady, NY Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221903Members
    bmve2eyjiu8p.png

    Why was gay the first work I focussed on

    penis envy

    B)

  • 04Leonhardt04Leonhardt I came here to laugh at you Join Date: 2015-08-01 Member: 206618Members
    bmve2eyjiu8p.png

    Why was gay the first work I focussed on

    Funny how the word next to it is "Away"
  • 04Leonhardt04Leonhardt I came here to laugh at you Join Date: 2015-08-01 Member: 206618Members
    Also hold on gonna do a dramatic reading of this.
  • Enderguy059Enderguy059 Australia Join Date: 2015-10-15 Member: 208486Members
    Ok here we go

    http://vocaroo.com/i/s0R11g6ltvOu

    I want to die.

    "Applies sandpaper to brain"

    "Rubs vigorously"
  • 0x6A72320x6A7232 US Join Date: 2016-10-06 Member: 222906Members
    Narrate it again, except read it as a fishing tale, and edit the grammar / story flow a bit to make it easier to process. Like if you were telling the story of the time you caught a 4 foot bass! No really!. It might fit better and be sort of cool. :)

    We could make it a game, where @Julian1337331nailuJ comes up with stories, and we edit them & make them entertaining, which might help him with his communications skills.
  • 04Leonhardt04Leonhardt I came here to laugh at you Join Date: 2015-08-01 Member: 206618Members
    0x6A7232 wrote: »
    Narrate it again, except read it as a fishing tale, and edit the grammar / story flow a bit to make it easier to process. Like if you were telling the story of the time you caught a 4 foot bass! No really!. It might fit better and be sort of cool. :)

    We could make it a game, where @Julian1337331nailuJ comes up with stories, and we edit them & make them entertaining, which might help him with his communications skills.

    And I narrate them because I like to punish my body.
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    edited December 2016
    0x6A7232 wrote: »
    Narrate it again, except read it as a fishing tale, and edit the grammar / story flow a bit to make it easier to process. Like if you were telling the story of the time you caught a 4 foot bass! No really!. It might fit better and be sort of cool. :)

    We could make it a game, where @Julian1337331nailuJ comes up with stories, and we edit them & make them entertaining, which might help him with his communications skills.

    And I narrate them because I like to punish my body.


    Reminds me so much of the guy who read the bee movie script
  • subnauticambriansubnauticambrian U.S. Join Date: 2016-01-19 Member: 211679Members
    0x6A7232 wrote: »
    Narrate it again, except read it as a fishing tale, and edit the grammar / story flow a bit to make it easier to process. Like if you were telling the story of the time you caught a 4 foot bass! No really!. It might fit better and be sort of cool. :)

    We could make it a game, where @Julian1337331nailuJ comes up with stories, and we edit them & make them entertaining, which might help him with his communications skills.

    And I narrate them because I like to punish my body.


    Reminds me so much of the guy who read the bee movie script


    According to all known laws
    of aviation,


    there is no way a bee
    should be able to fly.


    Its wings are too small to get
    its fat little body off the ground.


    The bee, of course, flies anyway


    because bees don't care
    what humans think is impossible.


    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


    Ooh, black and yellow!
    Let's shake it up a little.


    Barry! Breakfast is ready!


    Ooming!


    Hang on a second.


    Hello?


    - Barry?
    - Adam?


    - Oan you believe this is happening?
    - I can't. I'll pick you up.


    Looking sharp.


    Use the stairs. Your father
    paid good money for those.


    Sorry. I'm excited.


    Here's the graduate.
    We're very proud of you, son.


    A perfect report card, all B's.


    Very proud.


    Ma! I got a thing going here.


    - You got lint on your fuzz.
    - Ow! That's me!


    - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
    - Bye!


    Barry, I told you,
    stop flying in the house!


    - Hey, Adam.
    - Hey, Barry.


    - Is that fuzz gel?
    - A little. Special day, graduation.


    Never thought I'd make it.


    Three days grade school,
    three days high school.


    Those were awkward.


    Three days college. I'm glad I took
    a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


    You did come back different.


    - Hi, Barry.
    - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


    - Hear about Frankie?
    - Yeah.


    - You going to the funeral?
    - No, I'm not going.


    Everybody knows,
    sting someone, you die.


    Don't waste it on a squirrel.
    Such a hothead.


    I guess he could have
    just gotten out of the way.


    I love this incorporating
    an amusement park into our day.


    That's why we don't need vacations.


    Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
    under the circumstances.


    - Well, Adam, today we are men.
    - We are!


    - Bee-men.
    - Amen!


    Hallelujah!


    Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


    please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


    Welcome, New Hive Oity
    graduating class of...


    ...9:15.


    That concludes our ceremonies.


    And begins your career
    at Honex Industries!


    Will we pick ourjob today?


    I heard it's just orientation.


    Heads up! Here we go.


    Keep your hands and antennas
    inside the tram at all times.


    - Wonder what it'll be like?
    - A little scary.


    Welcome to Honex,
    a division of Honesco


    and a part of the Hexagon Group.


    This is it!


    Wow.


    Wow.


    We know that you, as a bee,
    have worked your whole life


    to get to the point where you
    can work for your whole life.


    Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
    Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


    Our top-secret formula


    is automatically color-corrected,
    scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


    into this soothing sweet syrup


    with its distinctive
    golden glow you know as...


    Honey!


    - That girl was hot.
    - She's my cousin!


    - She is?
    - Yes, we're all cousins.


    - Right. You're right.
    - At Honex, we constantly strive


    to improve every aspect
    of bee existence.


    These bees are stress-testing
    a new helmet technology.


    - What do you think he makes?
    - Not enough.


    Here we have our latest advancement,
    the Krelman.


    - What does that do?
    - Oatches that little strand of honey


    that hangs after you pour it.
    Saves us millions.


    Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


    Of course. Most bee jobs are
    small ones. But bees know


    that every small job,
    if it's done well, means a lot.


    But choose carefully


    because you'll stay in the job
    you pick for the rest of your life.


    The same job the rest of your life?
    I didn't know that.


    What's the difference?


    You'll be happy to know that bees,
    as a species, haven't had one day off


    in 27 million years.


    So you'll just work us to death?


    We'll sure try.


    Wow! That blew my mind!


    "What's the difference?"
    How can you say that?


    One job forever?
    That's an insane choice to have to make.


    I'm relieved. Now we only have
    to make one decision in life.


    But, Adam, how could they
    never have told us that?


    Why would you question anything?
    We're bees.


    We're the most perfectly
    functioning society on Earth.


    You ever think maybe things
    work a little too well here?


    Like what? Give me one example.


    I don't know. But you know
    what I'm talking about.


    Please clear the gate.
    Royal Nectar Force on approach.


    Wait a second. Oheck it out.


    - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
    - Wow.


    I've never seen them this close.


    They know what it's like
    outside the hive.


    Yeah, but some don't come back.


    - Hey, Jocks!
    - Hi, Jocks!


    You guys did great!


    You're monsters!
    You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


    - I wonder where they were.
    - I don't know.


    Their day's not planned.


    Outside the hive, flying who knows
    where, doing who knows what.


    You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
    Jock. You have to be bred for that.


    Right.


    Look. That's more pollen
    than you and I will see in a lifetime.


    It's just a status symbol.
    Bees make too much of it.


    Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
    and the ladies see you wearing it.


    Those ladies?
    Aren't they our cousins too?


    Distant. Distant.


    Look at these two.


    - Oouple of Hive Harrys.
    - Let's have fun with them.


    It must be dangerous
    being a Pollen Jock.


    Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
    against a mushroom!


    He had a paw on my throat,
    and with the other, he was slapping me!


    - Oh, my!
    - I never thought I'd knock him out.


    What were you doing during this?


    Trying to alert the authorities.


    I can autograph that.


    A little gusty out there today,
    wasn't it, comrades?


    Yeah. Gusty.


    We're hitting a sunflower patch
    six miles from here tomorrow.


    - Six miles, huh?
    - Barry!


    A puddle jump for us,
    but maybe you're not up for it.


    - Maybe I am.
    - You are not!


    We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


    What do you think, buzzy-boy?
    Are you bee enough?


    I might be. It all depends
    on what 0900 means.


    Hey, Honex!


    Dad, you surprised me.


    You decide what you're interested in?


    - Well, there's a lot of choices.
    - But you only get one.


    Do you ever get bored
    doing the same job every day?


    Son, let me tell you about stirring.


    You grab that stick, and you just
    move it around, and you stir it around.


    You get yourself into a rhythm.
    It's a beautiful thing.


    You know, Dad,
    the more I think about it,


    maybe the honey field
    just isn't right for me.


    You were thinking of what,
    making balloon animals?


    That's a bad job
    for a guy with a stinger.


    Janet, your son's not sure
    he wants to go into honey!


    - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
    - I'm not trying to be funny.


    You're not funny! You're going
    into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


    - You're gonna be a stirrer?
    - No one's listening to me!


    Wait till you see the sticks I have.


    I could say anything right now.
    I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


    Let's open some honey and celebrate!


    Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
    Shave my antennae.


    Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
    a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


    I'm so proud.


    - We're starting work today!
    - Today's the day.


    Oome on! All the good jobs
    will be gone.


    Yeah, right.


    Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
    stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


    - Is it still available?
    - Hang on. Two left!


    One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
    Step to the side.


    - What'd you get?
    - Picking crud out. Stellar!


    Wow!


    Oouple of newbies?


    Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


    Make your choice.


    - You want to go first?
    - No, you go.


    Oh, my. What's available?


    Restroom attendant's open,
    not for the reason you think.


    - Any chance of getting the Krelman?
    - Sure, you're on.


    I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


    Wax monkey's always open.


    The Krelman opened up again.


    What happened?


    A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
    He's dead. Another dead one.


    Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


    Dead from the neck up.
    Dead from the neck down. That's life!


    Oh, this is so hard!


    Heating, cooling,
    stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


    humming, inspector number seven,
    lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


    mite wrangler. Barry, what
    do you think I should... Barry?


    Barry!


    All right, we've got the sunflower patch
    in quadrant nine...


    What happened to you?
    Where are you?


    - I'm going out.
    - Out? Out where?


    - Out there.
    - Oh, no!


    I have to, before I go
    to work for the rest of my life.


    You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


    Another call coming in.


    If anyone's feeling brave,
    there's a Korean deli on 83rd


    that gets their roses today.


    Hey, guys.


    - Look at that.
    - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


    Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


    It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


    Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


    Sign here, here. Just initial that.


    - Thank you.
    - OK.


    You got a rain advisory today,


    and as you all know,
    bees cannot fly in rain.


    So be careful. As always,
    watch your brooms,


    hockey sticks, dogs,
    birds, bears and bats.


    Also, I got a couple of reports
    of root beer being poured on us.


    Murphy's in a home because of it,
    babbling like a cicada!


    - That's awful.
    - And a reminder for you rookies,


    bee law number one,
    absolutely no talking to humans!


    All right, launch positions!


    Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
    buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


    Black and yellow!


    Hello!


    You ready for this, hot shot?


    Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


    Wind, check.


    - Antennae, check.
    - Nectar pack, check.


    - Wings, check.
    - Stinger, check.


    Scared out of my shorts, check.


    OK, ladies,


    let's move it out!


    Pound those petunias,
    you striped stem-suckers!


    All of you, drain those flowers!


    Wow! I'm out!


    I can't believe I'm out!


    So blue.


    I feel so fast and free!


    Box kite!


    Wow!


    Flowers!


    This is Blue Leader.
    We have roses visual.


    Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


    Roses!


    30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


    Stand to the side, kid.
    It's got a bit of a kick.


    That is one nectar collector!


    - Ever see pollination up close?
    - No, sir.


    I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
    over here. Maybe a dash over there,


    a pinch on that one.
    See that? It's a little bit of magic.


    That's amazing. Why do we do that?


    That's pollen power. More pollen, more
    flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


    Oool.


    I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
    Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


    Oopy that visual.


    Wait. One of these flowers
    seems to be on the move.


    Say again? You're reporting
    a moving flower?


    Affirmative.


    That was on the line!


    This is the coolest. What is it?


    I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


    It smells good.
    Not like a flower, but I like it.


    Yeah, fuzzy.


    Ohemical-y.


    Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


    My sweet lord of bees!


    Oandy-brain, get off there!


    Problem!


    - Guys!
    - This could be bad.


    Affirmative.


    Very close.


    Gonna hurt.


    Mama's little boy.


    You are way out of position, rookie!


    Ooming in at you like a missile!


    Help me!


    I don't think these are flowers.


    - Should we tell him?
    - I think he knows.


    What is this?!


    Match point!


    You can start packing up, honey,
    because you're about to eat it!


    Yowser!


    Gross.


    There's a bee in the car!


    - Do something!
    - I'm driving!


    - Hi, bee.
    - He's back here!


    He's going to sting me!


    Nobody move. If you don't move,
    he won't sting you. Freeze!


    He blinked!


    Spray him, Granny!


    What are you doing?!


    Wow... the tension level
    out here is unbelievable.


    I gotta get home.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


    Ken, could you close
    the window please?


    Ken, could you close
    the window please?


    Oheck out my new resume.
    I made it into a fold-out brochure.


    You see? Folds out.


    Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


    What was that?


    Maybe this time. This time. This time.
    This time! This time! This...


    Drapes!


    That is diabolical.


    It's fantastic. It's got all my special
    skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


    What's number one? Star Wars?


    Nah, I don't go for that...


    ...kind of stuff.


    No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
    They're out of their minds.


    When I leave a job interview, they're
    flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


    There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


    I don't remember the sun
    having a big 75 on it.


    I predicted global warming.


    I could feel it getting hotter.
    At first I thought it was just me.


    Wait! Stop! Bee!


    Stand back. These are winter boots.


    Wait!


    Don't kill him!


    You know I'm allergic to them!
    This thing could kill me!


    Why does his life have
    less value than yours?


    Why does his life have any less value
    than mine? Is that your statement?


    I'm just saying all life has value. You
    don't know what he's capable of feeling.


    My brochure!


    There you go, little guy.


    I'm not scared of him.
    It's an allergic thing.


    Put that on your resume brochure.


    My whole face could puff up.


    Make it one of your special skills.


    Knocking someone out
    is also a special skill.


    Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


    - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
    - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


    - You could put carob chips on there.
    - Bye.


    - Supposed to be less calories.
    - Bye.


    I gotta say something.


    She saved my life.
    I gotta say something.


    All right, here it goes.


    Nah.


    What would I say?


    I could really get in trouble.


    It's a bee law.
    You're not supposed to talk to a human.


    I can't believe I'm doing this.


    I've got to.


    Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


    No. Yes. No.


    Do it. I can't.


    How should I start it?
    "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


    Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


    Hi!


    I'm sorry.


    - You're talking.
    - Yes, I know.


    You're talking!


    I'm so sorry.


    No, it's OK. It's fine.
    I know I'm dreaming.


    But I don't recall going to bed.


    Well, I'm sure this
    is very disconcerting.


    This is a bit of a surprise to me.
    I mean, you're a bee!


    I am. And I'm not supposed
    to be doing this,


    but they were all trying to kill me.


    And if it wasn't for you...


    I had to thank you.
    It's just how I was raised.


    That was a little weird.


    - I'm talking with a bee.
    - Yeah.


    I'm talking to a bee.
    And the bee is talking to me!


    I just want to say I'm grateful.
    I'll leave now.


    - Wait! How did you learn to do that?
    - What?


    The talking thing.


    Same way you did, I guess.
    "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


    - That's very funny.
    - Yeah.


    Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
    we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


    Anyway...


    Oan I...


    ...get you something?
    - Like what?


    I don't know. I mean...
    I don't know. Ooffee?


    I don't want to put you out.


    It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


    - It's just coffee.
    - I hate to impose.


    - Don't be ridiculous!
    - Actually, I would love a cup.


    Hey, you want rum cake?


    - I shouldn't.
    - Have some.


    - No, I can't.
    - Oome on!


    I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


    - Where?
    - These stripes don't help.


    You look great!


    I don't know if you know
    anything about fashion.


    Are you all right?


    No.


    He's making the tie in the cab
    as they're flying up Madison.


    He finally gets there.


    He runs up the steps into the church.
    The wedding is on.


    And he says, "Watermelon?
    I thought you said Guatemalan.


    Why would I marry a watermelon?"


    Is that a bee joke?


    That's the kind of stuff we do.


    Yeah, different.


    So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


    About work? I don't know.


    I want to do my part for the hive,
    but I can't do it the way they want.


    I know how you feel.


    - You do?
    - Sure.


    My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
    a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


    - Really?
    - My only interest is flowers.


    Our new queen was just elected
    with that same campaign slogan.


    Anyway, if you look...


    There's my hive right there. See it?


    You're in Sheep Meadow!


    Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


    No way! I know that area.
    I lost a toe ring there once.


    - Why do girls put rings on their toes?
    - Why not?


    - It's like putting a hat on your knee.
    - Maybe I'll try that.


    - You all right, ma'am?
    - Oh, yeah. Fine.


    Just having two cups of coffee!


    Anyway, this has been great.
    Thanks for the coffee.


    Yeah, it's no trouble.


    Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
    I'd be up the rest of my life.


    Are you...?


    Oan I take a piece of this with me?


    Sure! Here, have a crumb.


    - Thanks!
    - Yeah.


    All right. Well, then...
    I guess I'll see you around.


    Or not.


    OK, Barry.


    And thank you
    so much again... for before.


    Oh, that? That was nothing.


    Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


    This can't possibly work.


    He's all set to go.
    We may as well try it.


    OK, Dave, pull the chute.


    - Sounds amazing.
    - It was amazing!


    It was the scariest,
    happiest moment of my life.


    Humans! I can't believe
    you were with humans!


    Giant, scary humans!
    What were they like?


    Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


    They eat crazy giant things.
    They drive crazy.


    - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
    - Some of them. But some of them don't.


    - How'd you get back?
    - Poodle.


    You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
    whatever you wanted to see.


    You had your "experience." Now you
    can pick out yourjob and be normal.


    - Well...
    - Well?


    Well, I met someone.


    You did? Was she Bee-ish?


    - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
    - No, no, no, not a wasp.


    - Spider?
    - I'm not attracted to spiders.


    I know it's the hottest thing,
    with the eight legs and all.


    I can't get by that face.


    So who is she?


    She's... human.


    No, no. That's a bee law.
    You wouldn't break a bee law.


    - Her name's Vanessa.
    - Oh, boy.


    She's so nice. And she's a florist!


    Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


    We're not dating.


    You're flying outside the hive, talking
    to humans that attack our homes


    with power washers and M-80s!
    One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


    She saved my life!
    And she understands me.


    This is over!


    Eat this.


    This is not over! What was that?


    - They call it a crumb.
    - It was so stingin' stripey!


    And that's not what they eat.
    That's what falls off what they eat!


    - You know what a Oinnabon is?
    - No.


    It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
    They heat it up...


    Sit down!


    ...really hot!
    - Listen to me!


    We are not them! We're us.
    There's us and there's them!


    Yes, but who can deny
    the heart that is yearning?


    There's no yearning.
    Stop yearning. Listen to me!


    You have got to start thinking bee,
    my friend. Thinking bee!


    - Thinking bee.
    - Thinking bee.


    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


    There he is. He's in the pool.


    You know what your problem is, Barry?


    I gotta start thinking bee?


    How much longer will this go on?


    It's been three days!
    Why aren't you working?


    I've got a lot of big life decisions
    to think about.


    What life? You have no life!
    You have no job. You're barely a bee!


    Would it kill you
    to make a little honey?


    Barry, come out.
    Your father's talking to you.


    Martin, would you talk to him?


    Barry, I'm talking to you!


    You coming?


    Got everything?


    All set!


    Go ahead. I'll catch up.


    Don't be too long.


    Watch this!


    Vanessa!


    - We're still here.
    - I told you not to yell at him.


    He doesn't respond to yelling!


    - Then why yell at me?
    - Because you don't listen!


    I'm not listening to this.


    Sorry, I've gotta go.


    - Where are you going?
    - I'm meeting a friend.


    A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


    Bye.


    I just hope she's Bee-ish.


    They have a huge parade
    of flowers every year in Pasadena?


    To be in the Tournament of Roses,
    that's every florist's dream!


    Up on a float, surrounded
    by flowers, crowds cheering.


    A tournament. Do the roses
    compete in athletic events?


    No. All right, I've got one.
    How come you don't fly everywhere?


    It's exhausting. Why don't you
    run everywhere? It's faster.


    Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
    All right, your turn.


    TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
    That's insane!


    You don't have that?


    We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
    It's a horrible, horrible disease.


    Oh, my.


    Dumb bees!


    You must want to sting all those jerks.


    We try not to sting.
    It's usually fatal for us.


    So you have to watch your temper.


    Very carefully.
    You kick a wall, take a walk,


    write an angry letter and throw it out.
    Work through it like any emotion:


    Anger, jealousy, lust.


    Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


    Yeah.


    - What is wrong with you?!
    - It's a bug.


    He's not bothering anybody.
    Get out of here, you creep!


    What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


    Yeah, it was. How did you know?


    It felt like about 10 pages.
    Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


    You've really got that
    down to a science.


    - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
    - I'll bet.


    What in the name
    of Mighty Hercules is this?


    How did this get here?
    Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


    Ray Liotta Private Select?


    - Is he that actor?
    - I never heard of him.


    - Why is this here?
    - For people. We eat it.


    You don't have
    enough food of your own?


    - Well, yes.
    - How do you get it?


    - Bees make it.
    - I know who makes it!


    And it's hard to make it!


    There's heating, cooling, stirring.
    You need a whole Krelman thing!


    - It's organic.
    - It's our-ganic!


    It's just honey, Barry.


    Just what?!


    Bees don't know about this!
    This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


    You've taken our homes, schools,
    hospitals! This is all we have!


    And it's on sale?!
    I'm getting to the bottom of this.


    I'm getting to the bottom
    of all of this!


    Hey, Hector.


    - You almost done?
    - Almost.


    He is here. I sense it.


    Well, I guess I'll go home now


    and just leave this nice honey out,
    with no one around.


    You're busted, box boy!


    I knew I heard something.
    So you can talk!


    I can talk.
    And now you'll start talking!


    Where you getting the sweet stuff?
    Who's your supplier?


    I don't understand.
    I thought we were friends.


    The last thing we want
    to do is upset bees!


    You're too late! It's ours now!


    You, sir, have crossed
    the wrong sword!


    You, sir, will be lunch
    for my iguana, Ignacio!


    Where is the honey coming from?


    Tell me where!


    Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


    Orazy person!


    What horrible thing has happened here?


    These faces, they never knew
    what hit them. And now


    they're on the road to nowhere!


    Just keep still.


    What? You're not dead?


    Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
    that moves. Where you headed?


    To Honey Farms.
    I am onto something huge here.


    I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
    crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


    I'm going to Tacoma.


    - And you?
    - He really is dead.


    All right.


    Uh-oh!


    - What is that?!
    - Oh, no!


    - A wiper! Triple blade!
    - Triple blade?


    Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


    Why does everything have
    to be so doggone clean?!


    How much do you people need to see?!


    Open your eyes!
    Stick your head out the window!


    From NPR News in Washington,
    I'm Oarl Kasell.


    But don't kill no more bugs!


    - Bee!
    - Moose blood guy!!


    - You hear something?
    - Like what?


    Like tiny screaming.


    Turn off the radio.


    Whassup, bee boy?


    Hey, Blood.


    Just a row of honey jars,
    as far as the eye could see.


    Wow!


    I assume wherever this truck goes
    is where they're getting it.


    I mean, that honey's ours.


    - Bees hang tight.
    - We're all jammed in.


    It's a close community.


    Not us, man. We on our own.
    Every mosquito on his own.


    - What if you get in trouble?
    - You a mosquito, you in trouble.


    Nobody likes us. They just smack.
    See a mosquito, smack, smack!


    At least you're out in the world.
    You must meet girls.


    Mosquito girls try to trade up,
    get with a moth, dragonfly.


    Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


    You got to be kidding me!


    Mooseblood's about to leave
    the building! So long, bee!


    - Hey, guys!
    - Mooseblood!


    I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
    Did you bring your crazy straw?


    We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
    and it's pretty much pure profit.


    What is this place?


    A bee's got a brain
    the size of a pinhead.


    They are pinheads!


    Pinhead.


    - Oheck out the new smoker.
    - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


    The Thomas 3000!


    Smoker?


    Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
    Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


    A couple breaths of this
    knocks them right out.


    They make the honey,
    and we make the money.


    "They make the honey,
    and we make the money"?


    Oh, my!


    What's going on? Are you OK?


    Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


    Do you know you're
    in a fake hive with fake walls?


    Our queen was moved here.
    We had no choice.


    This is your queen?
    That's a man in women's clothes!


    That's a drag queen!


    What is this?


    Oh, no!


    There's hundreds of them!


    Bee honey.


    Our honey is being brazenly stolen
    on a massive scale!


    This is worse than anything bears
    have done! I intend to do something.


    Oh, Barry, stop.


    Who told you humans are taking
    our honey? That's a rumor.


    Do these look like rumors?


    That's a conspiracy theory.
    These are obviously doctored photos.


    How did you get mixed up in this?


    He's been talking to humans.


    - What?
    - Talking to humans?!


    He has a human girlfriend.
    And they make out!


    Make out? Barry!


    We do not.


    - You wish you could.
    - Whose side are you on?


    The bees!


    I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
    Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


    Barry, this is what you want
    to do with your life?


    I want to do it for all our lives.
    Nobody works harder than bees!


    Dad, I remember you
    coming home so overworked


    your hands were still stirring.
    You couldn't stop.


    I remember that.


    What right do they have to our honey?


    We live on two cups a year. They put it
    in lip balm for n

    I regret everything
  • awesomeguy101awesomeguy101 Join Date: 2016-06-21 Member: 218886Members
    edited December 2016
    Good fan fiction. NOW WHY DOSE EVERYONE FOCUS ON THE CAPS!? Srsly the Grammar Nazis have arived to ethnically clence the fourms of all who make mistakes.These fourms are so toxic. It the holidays and people are yelling about grammar.
  • subnauticambriansubnauticambrian U.S. Join Date: 2016-01-19 Member: 211679Members
    Good fan fiction. NOW WHY DOSE EVERYONE FOCUS ON THE CAPS!? Srsly the Grammar Nazis have arived to ethnically clence the fourms of all who make mistakes.These fourms are so toxic. It the holidays and people are yelling about grammar.

    While initially being as avid a Grammar Nazi as everyone else, I've since resigned myself to quietly judging and occasionally translating.
  • subnauticambriansubnauticambrian U.S. Join Date: 2016-01-19 Member: 211679Members
    Ok here we go

    http://vocaroo.com/i/s0R11g6ltvOu

    I want to die.

    Seriously, though, that was a pretty good reading. Despite the reading material. You'd be a pretty good voice actor for Subnautica (I think)
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