'twas The Night Before Kharaasmas...

NinjaBurgerNinjaBurger Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9931Members
edited December 2002 in Fan-Fiction Forum
<div class="IPBDescription">or, "A Visit From Saint NichOnos"</div> 'Twas the night before Kharaasmas, when all through Nothing
Not an alien was stirring, not a Skulk, not a thing;
The first hive was hung in the Great Viaduct,
In hopes that some Onos soon would erupt;
The Skulks were nestled all snug in their hive,
Dreaming of Frontiersmen (and eating them alive);
A Lerk with his spines, and a Gorg with his girth,
Had just begun gestating, preparing for birth,
When suddenly Frontiersmen started to build,
So the hive spawned three Skulks; the marines soon were killed.

Away to the rafters, our Lerk flew like a bird,
And spiked a marine (who used a nasty word),
As our Gorg began waddling in search of resources,
And Skulks tore apart the Frontiersman forces.
(But no gore on the breast of marines who were dead;
Don't argue with Flayra, "No blood," he has said).
But what to the hivemind's hive sight should appear,
Eight yellow circles, marines drawing near,
They thought they were sneaky, but soon they would grieve,
'Cuz a Skulk's parasite's a friend who won't leave.
Yet onward they rushed, LMG's spouting flames,
As the Com gave them waypoints and shouted their names;

"Now, NSPlayer! Now, L33tD3wd! Now, Roxor and Llama!
On, Kill3r! On Slayor! On, Gibber and Tramma!
To the top of the Silo, to the Cargo Bay, stat,
Obey my waypoints and a Shottie you'll get."

But the newbie Com must have forgotten Team Chat
And his quickly typed orders to all were broadcast.
Under the elevators, our Gorg dropped his gift,
Stacking OCs and DCs under the lift.
While at Cargo the Skulks ripped apart the Phase Gate,
Then took down the TF; the marines were too late.
And our hive pumped out more Skulks, and so the game went...
Till the sneaky marines built a Siege in the vent.

The hive started to shake, the hive started to quiver,
And when the hive died, the Skulks started to shiver.
It seemed the marines would bring certain doom,
As the Skulks F4'd back to the old Ready Room,
But our Gorg was a smart one, he'd started a hive,
Power Silo went up; the Kharaa were alive.
They started a rebound, took back Viaduct,
Ate up the Siege (man those marines really sucked).

Pretty soon there were two hives, and of course that means Fade;
Acid bombs soon rained down on the marine's sad parade,
As our chubby old Gorg tried to put up hive three,
And the Frontiersmen got their HA and HMG.
Grenade launchers launched, jet packers packed,
Against the Kharaa the odds seemed to be stacked;
The hive took a hit, the Fades started to buckle...
And just then, from the shadows, an unearthly chuckle.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the scene,
Charging IPs, paralyzing marines.
Fades rallied with Bile, spore clouds flew from the Lerk,
As our jolly old Onos did his jolly old work.
The marines were defeated, the Com took his last breath,
(The final Frontiersman got Babbled to death).
Team 2 had won, and our hivemind was pleased,
Nothing Station was ours, assimilated with ease,
"You've done your job well," said the hivemind, "Good style!;
Happy Kharaasmas to all. Resistance is Futile!"
«134

Comments

  • WindelkronWindelkron Join Date: 2002-04-11 Member: 419Members
    <b>BEAUTIFUL!!!</b>
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    If MonsE were here right now, he'd say..

    Awwwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.
  • KboTKboT Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9436Members
    Now this is stuff I like to see in the NS community!!! Good jab man!!!! w00t!!!!!
  • RhoadsToNowhereRhoadsToNowhere i r 8 Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 33Members
    Good stuff. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    Truly amazing... I am speechless! This deserves a sticky!
  • GazaarGazaar Join Date: 2002-03-31 Member: 366Banned
  • KboTKboT Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9436Members
    haha now I wanna see one where the Marines kick butt <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • NinjaBurgerNinjaBurger Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9931Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--KboT+Dec 23 2002, 02:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (KboT @ Dec 23 2002, 02:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->haha now I wanna see one where the Marines kick butt <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    That would be the one IN YOUR DREAMS, pitiful human!

    <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • NinjaBurgerNinjaBurger Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9931Members
    Woo Hoo. My first sticky post.

    Hope everyone has a nice Kharaasmas and a Happy New Year.
  • citixencitixen Join Date: 2002-03-26 Member: 354Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Ninja Burger that's awesome. Great work.
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    Nice! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • lyndaklyndak God Join Date: 2002-11-13 Member: 8419Members, Constellation
  • moto43moto43 Join Date: 2002-11-23 Member: 9742Members
  • Marik_SteeleMarik_Steele To rule in hell... Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9466Members
    Wow. Just...wow. How on earth did I miss this earlier? (maybe the forum was down at the time) Mind sharing plans of what's the next song you want to write such good lyrics to, or are you keeping that a secret until "when it's done"?
  • 3ncrypted_zer03ncrypted_zer0 Join Date: 2002-12-24 Member: 11458Members
  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Join Date: 2003-02-07 Member: 13249Members
    edited February 2003
    Incredibly sweet, and even better when you can imagine some guy sitting in front of a fireplace with his kids all around him, speaking it with a soft reassuring voice to the same tune and tone as the popular christmas story. This was a blast, I love it, now just to see what can be done with a space marine version of something else... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

    Oh hey, and would that be Ninja Burger of the infamous online comic strip, or just another imposter from Samuria Burger?
  • Trojan2Trojan2 Join Date: 2003-01-14 Member: 12290Members
    omg, i just found this, my gut hurts from lauging so hard!
  • LinkLink Join Date: 2002-10-16 Member: 1510Members
  • KnudsenKnudsen Join Date: 2003-01-28 Member: 12882Members
    Wow, i'm stunned!
    It's GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!
    <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Savag3Savag3 Join Date: 2003-03-05 Member: 14336Members
    AWESOME <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
    That's the best post in the Fan-Fiction Forum ever <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • BlackPantherBlackPanther Join Date: 2002-02-11 Member: 197Members
    Perfect.
    Just perfect.

    It is truely great writing man.
    Kudos. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • DBZ_SuperGokuDBZ_SuperGoku Join Date: 2003-02-05 Member: 13152Members
    They should include this to NS 1.1 patch so noobs will actually read the guide <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> I want more!!!!!! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    edited March 2003
    wow
    *tips imaginary hat*
    in-flippin-credible
    spectacular, 'nuff said
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--Comprox+Dec 23 2002, 01:25 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Comprox @ Dec 23 2002, 01:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Truly amazing... I am speechless! This deserves a sticky! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I'm noticing lack of sticky
    <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->
    this truly deserves one....
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    It was stickied since before Christmas.
    This was a Christmas post, and was unstickied just awhile ago.
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    yeah, Comprox explained that to me...
    I still say it's worth a sticky! again!
  • Knife_After_DarkKnife_After_Dark Join Date: 2003-03-29 Member: 15000Members
    GREAT WORK! Maybe next Kharaasmas... the poem would be based on a different map. At least you didn't do one where the marines were really stupid and you just got onos and killed em fast AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN INFANTRY PORTAL! btw, GREAT WORK
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    I'm going to stand by what I said, which is basically: this peice rules, can we sticky it again?
    therefore I shall *bump* to call attention to my half-hearted goals of launching the night before kharaasmas into fan-fic superstardome, which it deserves, because it's pure genius
  • R_A_CR_A_C Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16273Members
    Two words: w00t w00t
  • FrostyFrosty Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15667Members
    This is great man, and as a conocer of Night before Christmas alterations (even righting one myself) this is a good un. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
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