Getting over you x!

Hell_DragonHell_Dragon Join Date: 2007-10-18 Member: 62672Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Any suggestions?</div>Hello, my x dumped me about 3 or 4 months ago, and i have finally realized i need some god damm help. Nowhere were i look, i find something reminding me of her. Same day she dumped me, she had already found another guy, so that just made everything worse when i found out 3 weeks later...

So comrades.. help a fallen marine, to get back on his feet?

any suggestions how to get over x girl/boyfriends?

(we were together 2 years and 3 months :/)
Keep it to a certain degree of seriousness please. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/marine.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="::marine::" border="0" alt="marine.gif" />

Comments

  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    ouch, sorry man <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" /> that's definitely happened to me before. The best advice is also pretty obvious - time heals all wounds. keeping busy helps a LOT. Just like drinking can be a good cure for a hangover, finding a new girl can be a good cure for getting over an old girl =p so even though it might be hard, try to stop dwelling on the past and keep an eye out for someone new... or actively search for someone new. if she found a new guy just like that, she's probably not worthy of you anyway.
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    edited October 2007
    .....

    You are gona be lucky if this just sinks.

    On the serious note:
    Love sucks.
    It is gona hurt for a long time.
    Eventually you will get over it.
    How you do so is completely dependent on who you are.

    I was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years. Things ended rather sucky. I moped about it for a year or so, and almost lapsed back into depression, but decided not to, looked at what went wrong in the relationship and worked on fixing those aspects of my personality that were at fault.

    It has been (calculates) about 4 years now.
    I have been in a relationship with another girl for nearly 2 years now. I love her, and care for her dearly, but I still miss the other girl at times.

    Then again, my Ex is still one of my best friends, and I still love (remember, different definitions of love here) her, And her current boyfriend is awesome, and the 4 of us hang out when we can.

    Now, for most people this would be seen as a ######ed up situation. But hey, it works for me. I am not depressed any more, I enjoy life (for the most part), I love my SO, and I have a great friend that I have gone through hell with.

    Yah, coming here is not a good idea for advice <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile-fix.gif" />


    IBT:
    Booze and/or drugs
    Find a cheap ho
    Grow a pair and stop complaining


    Enjoy.


    (seriously, coming to OT for this? Might as well just post it on /b/)
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    you're somewhat right. almost makes me wonder why I keep coming here when so many people just take pride in being asses rather than trying to help their fellow man =p
  • Hell_DragonHell_Dragon Join Date: 2007-10-18 Member: 62672Members
    well thx guys. kinda help even to just talk about it.

    Well maybe i should have posted it in NS2 General discussion then? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />

    but thx, actually made me somewhat happy just to read your answers.
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1657677:date=Oct 25 2007, 11:34 AM:name=Hell_Dragon)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Hell_Dragon @ Oct 25 2007, 11:34 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657677"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->well thx guys. kinda help even to just talk about it.

    Well maybe i should have posted it in NS2 General discussion then? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />

    but thx, actually made me somewhat happy just to read your answers.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    No, you should talk about it in a community less likely to flame you.
  • MonkfishMonkfish Sonic-boom-inducing buttcheeks of terrifying speed&#33; Join Date: 2003-06-03 Member: 16972Members
    Best way to avoid it: don't get a GF in the first place!
  • NeonSpyderNeonSpyder &quot;Das est NTLDR?&quot; Join Date: 2003-07-03 Member: 17913Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1657682:date=Oct 25 2007, 10:52 AM:name=Sonic)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Sonic @ Oct 25 2007, 10:52 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657682"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Best way to avoid it: don't get a GF in the first place!<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Gender-neutral-significant-interactive-partners are so much better eh Sonic? Eh? Eh? <img src="http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/8914/naughtymd3.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    On a more serious note, do what Thansal said. The most important thing you can gain out of this is self-development. My recommendation is to figure out the best way you can put yourself in a position to think long and rationally about yourself, the relationship, the person you had the relationship with, etc etc.

    Basically just meditate on it and try to improve yourself?

    I appreciate Thansal's worldview more then most, apparently now. I recommend his rational approach to relationships (and possibly other things) and I urge you to follow his example as best suits you.
  • moultanomoultano Creator of ns_shiva. Join Date: 2002-12-14 Member: 10806Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts
    Two pieces of advice:

    Rediscover your friends, and have a good time with them. Go camping. That's <a href="http://moultano.blogspot.com/2007/07/he-maketh-me-lie-down-in-green-pastures.html" target="_blank">what I do</a> to get over somebody. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile-fix.gif" />

    Expand your circle of friends, preferably in a way that includes women. It helps just to have attractive women around to talk to, even if you don't have any intention of dating them.
  • BlooBloo Village Fool of UWF Join Date: 2006-11-09 Member: 58497Members
    Notice how Tycho haven't posted in this thread.

    My advice to you would be to hang with friends, get really drunk and mess around with random girls while constantly lying to yourself how awesome being single is, and how boring life would be with your x. After some time, you MIGHT start to believe your own lies and eventually get over her. However you will never forget her because of the long time you two were together.

    Btw, that she found a new guy instantly after the breakup sucks and i know how bad that feels, however you can turn that badness into hate. Hate diminishes faster than sadness and guilt. You are a MAN after all. Walk it off...
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1657693:date=Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657693"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Notice how Tycho haven't posted in this thread.

    My advice to you would be to hang with friends, get really drunk and mess around with random girls while constantly lying to yourself how awesome being single is, and how boring life would be with your x. After some time, you MIGHT start to believe your own lies and eventually get over her. However you will never forget her because of the long time you two were together.

    Btw, that she found a new guy instantly after the breakup sucks and i know how bad that feels, however you can turn that badness into hate. Hate diminishes faster than sadness and guilt. You are a MAN after all. Walk it off...<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    And bloo hits ALL of my predictions in ONE go!

    Damn am I good.


    *sigh*
    Yes, all those things will probably work. But I honestly don't think they are the healthiest options.

    Especially Hate.
    Hate Leads to Suffering.

    I know it sounds stupidly hippy, but works for me is to hate no one, and love the ones you can. Hate DOES lead to suffering. Remember the good things, learn from the bad, and don't dwell on the past any more then you have to.

    [/crunchy-feel-good-hippy-BS]
  • ExploderExploder Join Date: 2006-11-02 Member: 58202Members
    Argh man, that sucks. I don't know what to say though since I haven't been in a relationship yet. But I'm sure you're going through hell right now.

    Good luck mate.
  • Sub_zer0Sub_zer0 Join Date: 2004-05-09 Member: 28569Members
    keep occupied and get some good friends.
  • ConfusedConfused Wait. What? Join Date: 2003-01-28 Member: 12904Members, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Subnautica Playtester
    I'm not very good at the whole long term relationships thing but I have a friends who are.

    My advice really is to stay busy. Do things you want to do with friends. Go out. The last thing you want to do is sit around feeling sorry for your self and getting angry a person you cared about.

    You would be amazed what a game of guys vs girls full contact pool basketball will do to erase an ex.

    Seriously for a while just be out to have fun, and remember what having fun with a bunch of your friends is like then later you can find some other cute girl and date her for a while but for now just try to have a good time and forget the fact that some girl has ripped your heart into tiny pieces.
  • Hell_DragonHell_Dragon Join Date: 2007-10-18 Member: 62672Members
    <!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->No, you should talk about it in a community less likely to flame you.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I'm quite surprised to find no flaming, and seriously... Thanks for all the great advices. It's really nice to read this, and i can't help smiling of all the good suggestions, and how good they sound. Think you guys are right about primary 2 things:

    1. Be more together with our friends, to forget her, or at least not think of her.

    2. find another chick, and get cloaking and silence (though I'm normally against CO, bur this is the IRL, right?) and get in position to ambush her <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" />

    "Marine respawned."

    Thank you guys

    **salute**
  • TestamentTestament Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4037Members
    A buddy at work got a phone call during his lunch break last week. It was his girlfriend of 3 years telling him she was packing up and moving out as they spoke. It was pretty lulz.
  • DepotDepot The ModFather Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7956Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1657693:date=Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657693"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Notice how Tycho haven't posted in this thread.
    [...]<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    TC's troll alert hasn't gone off yet since I haven't posted... he'll be here shortly. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink-fix.gif" />


    Follow Sonic's advice and get a boyfriend next time.
  • locallyunscenelocallyunscene Feeder of Trolls Join Date: 2002-12-25 Member: 11528Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1657693:date=Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Oct 25 2007, 12:57 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657693"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Notice how Tycho haven't posted in this thread.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <!--quoteo(post=1657694:date=Oct 25 2007, 01:07 PM:name=Thansal)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Thansal @ Oct 25 2007, 01:07 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657694"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Especially Hate.
    Hate Leads to Suffering.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Wow, that didn't lure him?

    Suffering leads to the Dark Side.

    On a more serious note try and keep busy and find someone new. After breaking up with my GF of 3 years that's what helped me. Although we're back together now, if I hadn't gone to date new people and reevaluated my attitude towards relationships we probably wouldn't be. Although my experience is probably closer to Thansal's than yours, I think the advice is sound.
  • pardzhpardzh Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1657689:date=Oct 25 2007, 12:23 PM:name=moultano)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(moultano @ Oct 25 2007, 12:23 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657689"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Expand your circle of friends, preferably in a way that includes women. It helps just to have attractive women around to talk to, even if you don't have any intention of dating them.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ^ ^ ^
    There's nothing more therapeutic than hot chicks.

    Otherwise, stay <i>real</i> busy. Load yourself up at school, exercise regularly, work overtime.
  • alephaleph Join Date: 2007-10-12 Member: 62620Members
    I don't know anything about any of what's going on in here

    What I <i>DO</i> know, is that if you have any form of relationship problems, your first step is to post about it in the appropriate section of your favorite forum(s)
  • SkinnYSkinnY Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7500Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1657744:date=Oct 25 2007, 03:32 PM:name=pardzh)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(pardzh @ Oct 25 2007, 03:32 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657744"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->^ ^ ^
    There's nothing more therapeutic than hot chicks.

    [...]<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    That's not entirely true, hot chick that is into you, and is also a gamer seems to work better then just hot chicks <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" /> atleast on regular nerds.
  • NEX9NEX9 Join Date: 2005-03-08 Member: 44299Members
    edited October 2007
    The friends deal is spot on, and when you do find a new girl take some time to prepare your self, your going to need to drop all your sheilds and get back on the horse while wearing your heart on your sleave even if it means your might hurt her or get hurt again your self, if you have any walls up, defenses, it will show on your body language, and she will scense or see right through it.
    When you do get a talking to her dont talk about your X, and put some time in to thinking about what your going to say about your X when she asks you after a few dates, you want to try and avoid out right negativity and or hatred, put some iceing on it but make sure you do give the truth, and if the truth means tarnishing your self, remeber you wouldn't be talking to this new girl if you didnt do some self reflection and or do your best to correct your gyros in some way. If she does ask you about your X on the first or second encounter, then shes sus-ing you out is suspicious, has heard from a friend, or your just acting too nice. Be passionate and primal. At the core of it, we are all animal's and we cant shake our need/wants that are geneticly imbeded in our DNA.

    OH AND WIMEN SMELL FEAR, so bath and dioderise.
  • Private_ColemanPrivate_Coleman PhD in Video Games Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7510Members
    Your signature is too big.
  • schkorpioschkorpio I can mspaint Join Date: 2003-05-23 Member: 16635Members
    found a guy on the day she dropped you? sounds like it was over long before you realised. go out and get laid with the first person thats up for it. you shouldnt feel like you owe anyone anything or you have to respect boundries or unspoken rules or any of that cr4p, just go out there and DO IT! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" />
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1657669:date=Oct 25 2007, 02:25 PM:name=Hell_Dragon)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Hell_Dragon @ Oct 25 2007, 02:25 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1657669"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Hello, my x dumped me about 3 or 4 months ago, and i have finally realized i need some god damm help. Nowhere were i look, i find something reminding me of her. Same day she dumped me, she had already found another guy, so that just made everything worse when i found out 3 weeks later...

    So comrades.. help a fallen marine, to get back on his feet?

    any suggestions how to get over x girl/boyfriends?

    (we were together 2 years and 3 months :/)
    Keep it to a certain degree of seriousness please. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/marine.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="::marine::" border="0" alt="marine.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    14Months on from my the last girl I was steady with and I wasn't with her as long as you were with your ex, only 18 months. But it still ticks me off that she went for someone else the same day later and obvious had plans in motion etc.

    Best thing I ever did was work out. Takes your mind off everything.
  • DrfuzzyDrfuzzy FEW... MORE.... INCHES... Join Date: 2003-09-21 Member: 21094Members
    Get another girl, always works. Why would you think of your old one when you have a new, better, hotter one?
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    edited October 2007
    <!--quoteo(post=1658433:date=Oct 29 2007, 10:02 PM:name=Drfuzzy)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Drfuzzy @ Oct 29 2007, 10:02 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1658433"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Get another girl, always works. Why would you think of your old one when you have a new, better, hotter one?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Love?
    Vested Emotional Attachment?
    <edited to be less harsh>

    meh, might as well:
    <a href="http://xkcd.com/334/" target="_blank"><img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wasteland.png" border="0" class="linked-image" /></a>

    Ow, Seriously, just Ow.

    For those of you NOT familiar with XKCD, Shame on you.

    (oh, and read the mouse over tool tip for the image)
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