The DM of the Rings

OmegamanOmegaman Join Date: 2004-01-11 Member: 25239Members
<div class="IPBDescription">I am laughing so hard</div>"Lord of the Rings is more or less the foundation of modern D&D. The latter rose from the former, although the two are now so estranged that to reunite them would be an act of savage madness. Imagine a gaggle of modern hack-n-slash roleplayers who had somehow never been exposed to the original Tolkien mythos, and then imagine taking those players and trying to introduce them to Tolkien via a D&D campaign."


<img src="http://img369.imageshack.us/img369/6310/1176052577191nc1.jpg" border="0" alt="IPB Image" />

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" />
Absolutely one of the funniest webcomics I've ever read. And I mean it.

<a href="http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?cat=14" target="_blank">http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?cat=14</a>
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Comments

  • RoverRover blargh Join Date: 2003-09-23 Member: 21139Members
    edited April 2007
    <!--coloro:red--><span style="color:red"><!--/coloro-->*NUKED*. Language. You knew better to start with. -Talesin<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc-->

    OMGWARNING: language


    More on-topic; LOL, I'll read some more tomorrow, 5.11am.


    <i>edit: oh come on, it was a link >_></i>
  • TyrainTyrain Join Date: 2003-01-03 Member: 11746Members
    HAHAHAHA EXCELLENT!

    No, you have just enough energy to climb this hill, but not enough energy to go on or look for someplace else to camp.

    ...this is a very specific level of tired.


    Fricking amazing!
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    I wish I played D&D to get these.
  • NeonSpyderNeonSpyder &quot;Das est NTLDR?&quot; Join Date: 2003-07-03 Member: 17913Members
    "Uncertainty Lich" made me laugh so, so very hard.

    Oh man, I will remember that until the end of my days.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    for even more roleplay nerdiness (not constrained to d&d or d20) check out the <a href="http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html" target="_blank">975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG</a>
  • pardzhpardzh Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Members
    Wow. I've never even played D&D and those made me ROFL.
  • QuaunautQuaunaut The longest seven days in history... Join Date: 2003-03-21 Member: 14759Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    1d4 daggers are for the suck <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" />
  • ScytheScythe Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 46NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation, Reinforced - Silver
    I laff'd!

    Making me want to get into some D&D sometime, but then I remember that I have NWN2 installed and almost utterly unplayed.

    --Scythe--
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    edited April 2007
    <!--quoteo(post=1619743:date=Apr 9 2007, 04:32 AM:name=Quaunaut)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Quaunaut @ Apr 9 2007, 04:32 AM) [snapback]1619743[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    1d4 daggers are for the suck <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" />
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    2x1d4+1d6(fire)(x2 19-20+1d10(fire)) daggers+6d6 sneak attack for the win
  • FaskaliaFaskalia Wechsellichtzeichenanlage Join Date: 2004-09-12 Member: 31651Members, Constellation
    edited April 2007
    It's great AND a webcomic.

    Someone call Thansal <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1619841:date=Apr 9 2007, 04:01 PM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Apr 9 2007, 04:01 PM) [snapback]1619841[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    2x1d4+1d6(fire)(x2 19-20+1d10(fire)) daggers+6d6 sneak attack for the win
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    more like 4x1d4+1(Con)(18-20x2) kukris 4TW
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    What a wonderful comic. One of my new favorites!
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    Holy crap that was hilarious. I haven't laughed like that at a webcomic in a long, long time.

    Thanks for posting this. I can't wait for the rest. :D
  • SurgeSurge asda4a3sklflkgh Join Date: 2002-07-14 Member: 944Members
    edited April 2007
    <!--quoteo(post=1619858:date=Apr 9 2007, 09:47 PM:name=NEO_Phyte)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(NEO_Phyte @ Apr 9 2007, 09:47 PM) [snapback]1619858[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    more like 4x1d4+1(Con)(18-20x2) kukris 4TW
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Ugh, I hate kukris. Useless for a rogue since they're not light, and they're martial, and as a Rogue, stacking for criticals is pointless. Sneak Attack FTW. That's the majority of your damage. A critical with a Kukri is 2d4+(2*Strength Mod), so whee, not that great. Suddenly that dinky dagger becomes a 5d6 damage death-dealing tool. Really, your weapon doesn't matter quite so much as a Rogue. It's how you use it. Still, Rogue with a Greatsword just deals more damage, so... [/inner geek]

    As for the comic, hilarious. You might have to play pen and paper RPG's to understand, but still great.

    And yes, almost EVERYBODY carries rope. It's so funny.
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1619872:date=Apr 9 2007, 07:08 PM:name=Surge)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Surge @ Apr 9 2007, 07:08 PM) [snapback]1619872[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Ugh, I hate kukris. Useless for a rogue since they're not light, and they're martial, and as a Rogue, stacking for criticals is pointless. Sneak Attack FTW. That's the majority of your damage. A critical with a Kukri is 2d4+(2*Strength Mod), so whee, not that great. Suddenly that dinky dagger becomes a 5d6 damage death-dealing tool. Really, your weapon doesn't matter quite so much as a Rogue. It's how you use it. Still, Rogue with a Greatsword just deals more damage, so... [/inner geek]<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Umm, I don't know what version of D&D you've been playing, but a kukri IS a light weapon.
    As for criticals, when you have an ability that gives you a stacking +1 to attack and damage for each crit you land (expires when you fail to crit for 10 rounds), you want all the threat range you can get. Plus there's that PHBII feat that lets you get sneak attack damage on a crit, so if Rogue McFlanker has to fight solo, he's not boned.

    In any event, the main thing I was hinting at was the fact that he had 2 daggers, while I had 4 kukris. Guess who gets more attacks?
  • V_MANV_MAN V-MAN Join Date: 2002-11-03 Member: 6217Members, Constellation
    those had me in stitches
  • AldarisAldaris Join Date: 2002-03-25 Member: 351Members, Constellation
    Good old 3.0 keen Rapier with improved critical. How they didn't see how lame that was, I don't know.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1619881:date=Apr 9 2007, 07:51 PM:name=NEO_Phyte)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(NEO_Phyte @ Apr 9 2007, 07:51 PM) [snapback]1619881[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Umm, I don't know what version of D&D you've been playing, but a kukri IS a light weapon.
    As for criticals, when you have an ability that gives you a stacking +1 to attack and damage for each crit you land (expires when you fail to crit for 10 rounds), you want all the threat range you can get. Plus there's that PHBII feat that lets you get sneak attack damage on a crit, so if Rogue McFlanker has to fight solo, he's not boned.

    In any event, the main thing I was hinting at was the fact that he had 2 daggers, while I had 4 kukris. Guess who gets more attacks?
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    me, because i can use my two free hands as natural weapons.
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    ...yes, you get more attacks, because natural weapons are in no way, shape, or form inferior to manufactured weapons in any way, and they are most certainly not limited to only 1 attack regardless of your BAB.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    edited April 2007
    Natural Weapons

    Natural weapons are weapons that are physically a part of a creature. A creature making a melee attack with a natural weapon is considered armed and does not provoke attacks of opportunity. Likewise, it threatens any space it can reach. Creatures do not receive additional attacks from a high base attack bonus when using natural weapons. <b>The number of attacks a creature can make with its natural weapons depends on the type of the attack</b>—generally, a creature can make <b>one bite attack, one attack per claw or tentacle, one gore attack, one sting attack, or one slam attack (although Large creatures with arms or arm-like limbs can make a slam attack with each arm)</b>. Refer to the individual monster descriptions.

    Unless otherwise noted, a natural weapon threatens a critical hit on a natural attack roll of 20.

    When a creature has more than one natural weapon, one of them (or sometimes a pair or set of them) is the primary weapon. All the creature’s remaining natural weapons are secondary.

    The primary weapon is given in the creature’s Attack entry, and the primary weapon or weapons is given first in the creature’s Full Attack entry. A creature’s primary natural weapon is its most effective natural attack, usually by virtue of the creature’s physiology, training, or innate talent with the weapon. An attack with a primary natural weapon uses the creature’s full attack bonus. <b>Attacks with secondary natural weapons are less effective and are made with a -5 penalty on the attack roll, no matter how many there are. (Creatures with the Multiattack feat take only a -2 penalty on secondary attacks.)</b> This penalty applies even when the creature makes a single attack with the secondary weapon as part of the attack action or as an attack of opportunity.

    source: d20 system reference document. <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/specialAbilities.htm#naturalWeapons" target="_blank">clicky</a>

    for reference, both the SRD and MM give examples of creatures that use a manufactured weapon in addition to their natural weapons. attacks are resolved by treating the manufactured weapon (at creature's option) as the primary and natural weapons as secondary (unless they chose to use a primary natural weapon and not use their manufactured weapon, they still get attacks with their secondary natural weapons at -5 or -2)
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    edited April 2007
    Funny thing, instead of your natural weapons, you could be using those free arms to wield MORE weapons and get your BAB-granted iterative attacks with them, rather than just the 2 claws. Plus its a lot easier to enchant a weapon than a claw.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    edited April 2007
    okay, how about:
    dagger: 2x1d4+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    kukiri: 2x1d4+1d6(cold)(x2 15-20+1d8(sonic)+1d10(cold)(Fort 14 or deaf))(+6d6 sneak)(Fort 18 or Poison [Str Con])
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    Your funny numbers make my head hurt.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    oh. i forgot to include strength in the damage... or was it 1/2 str?
  • semipsychoticsemipsychotic Join Date: 2003-07-09 Member: 18061Members
    Add Str for dominant hand; half Str for off-hand attacks.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    alright, so our four-armed rogue freak has:
    dagger: 1d4+3+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    dagger: 1d4+1+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    kukiri: 2x1d4+1+1d6(cold)(x2 15-20+1d8(sonic)+1d10(cold)(Fort 14 or deaf))(+6d6 sneak)(Fort 18 or Poison [Str Con])
  • FaskaliaFaskalia Wechsellichtzeichenanlage Join Date: 2004-09-12 Member: 31651Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1620160:date=Apr 11 2007, 02:16 AM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Apr 11 2007, 02:16 AM) [snapback]1620160[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    alright, so our four-armed rogue freak has:
    dagger: 1d4+3+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    dagger: 1d4+1+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    kukiri: 2x1d4+1+1d6(cold)(x2 15-20+1d8(sonic)+1d10(cold)(Fort 14 or deaf))(+6d6 sneak)(Fort 18 or Poison [Str Con])
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I am no expert on 4 handed freaks, but shouldnt the total number of dominant hands be half the number of total hands?

    I am pretty shure that your freak should have 2 dominant hands (or one dominate pair of hands <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink-fix.gif" />)
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1619721:date=Apr 9 2007, 01:34 AM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Apr 9 2007, 01:34 AM) [snapback]1619721[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    for even more roleplay nerdiness (not constrained to d&d or d20) check out the <a href="http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html" target="_blank">975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG</a>
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    hehe
    <a href="http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html" target="_blank">213 Things Skippy Can't Do</a>

    <!--quoteo(post=1619856:date=Apr 9 2007, 06:07 PM:name=Faskalia)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Faskalia @ Apr 9 2007, 06:07 PM) [snapback]1619856[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    It's great AND a webcomic.

    Someone call Thansal <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You rang?
    Any one know if this is finished or what?
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1620140:date=Apr 10 2007, 05:01 PM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Apr 10 2007, 05:01 PM) [snapback]1620140[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    oh. i forgot to include strength in the damage... or was it 1/2 str?
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Go for Bloodclaw Master, awesome PrC, 1st level ability gives you full Str to offhand attacks with certain weapons.
    As for being a <a href="http://www.jaestudio.com/Thri-Kreen.jpg" target="_blank">4-armed freak</a>, what of it?
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    okay, so we take a PrC and we end up with:
    dagger: 2x1d4+3+1d6(fire)(x2 17-20+1d10(fire))(+6d6 sneak)(ghost touch)(returning)(Fort 18 or Poison [Con Str])
    kukiri: 2x1d4+3+1d6(cold)(x2 15-20+1d8(sonic)+1d10(cold)(Fort 14 or deaf))(+6d6 sneak)(Fort 18 or Poison [Str Con])
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