I've Gone Crazy
Owen1
Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
in Discussions
<div class="IPBDescription">over the edge crazy, emo, psycho... what</div> I dont like myself anymore, It's emo and I hate it for what it is. My mind is stuck in selfless contemplation of wanting to help, but i know the reality is that it wouldn't be accepted. I've dropped, below the level of sanity, I can see it happening infront of me. I get out of the shower shivering and long faced, look to the mirror and see somebody who's a coward. my hands shake, there's a constant lump in my throat. what's wrong with me? I've just... I've fallen.
this isnt a discussion, I just want insult or comfort... whichever anybody prefers.
this isnt a discussion, I just want insult or comfort... whichever anybody prefers.
Comments
You know, or you think you know? There's only one way to find out. Suck it up and do it. 5 seconds after you do, all of this will go away.
That is all.
My only other advice is to never listen to any advice I give you.
Any ways... yes this is emoing if you were wondering. life really isn't as complicated as people make it. Your goals?
- Live
- Work
- Reproduce
thats all society wants you to do... you're a lump of meat ready to be used like a cow tilling a field to them. are you sure you still want to be accepted by them?
Yes, that's good advice.
Look Owen; take it from somebody who has had severe depression issues for almost five years. It gets better but only if you choose to believe in happiness.
If you choose to fill your heart with fear, doubt, shame, and hatred you will continue to spiral ever deeper until you become an agent of chaotic evil and your soul only yearns for self-destruction of vengeanced infliction of pain on others. The truth is that every soul is capable of evil or good and never completely one or the other and always capable of changing. You have the free will to make that choice.
Last I heard from you Owen is that you were dating some girl and asking for sex advice. So you are depressed from breaking up. Whoop-de-do Owen. Welcome to one of the challenges of life. Are you going to just give up? How incredibly self absorbed that is! Guess what **** this isn't planet Owen! And more importantly you are not alone. Are humans imperfect? Yeah, perfect would be lame and boring anyways. Are we capable of improvement? You bet! Being human is a great gift! Furthermore it is proven time and time again that diversity united, teamwork conquers.
Your mind is filled with confusing messages resonating of failure, falling, and never being able to comeback, but this is actually immature and selfish in the extreme.
<span style='color:red'><b>Screw your self pity! On your feet soldier!</b></span> You are more powerful and more capable than you realize, we all are.
You <b><i>will</i></b> get better and you're <i><b>not</b></i> crazy unless you choose to be. I'm glad you decided to communicate, really. That already means you’re a stronger spirit, more of a man, than others. It's your choice but my complete lack of pity for you is not out of cold heartedness but rather out of love from a good aligned being who knows from my own experience what really is needed was a good wake-up slap and positive friends to show you how enjoyable life is.
Whoa, hang on there a minute. If you want to hate yourself, be my guest. But don't blame MY race for YOUR inadequacies, buddy. How 'bout you take some responsibility for yourself instead of just taking the easy way out and blaming everyone else?
Whoa, hang on there a minute. If you want to hate yourself, be my guest. But don't blame MY race for YOUR inadequacies, buddy. How 'bout you take some responsibility for yourself instead of just taking the easy way out and blaming everyone else? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
inadequacies? I'm perfectly content with my peaceful life. Others on this rock seem more concerned with how many people/chunks of land/money they can control then improving the species or... god forbid... explore the vast unknown we call space. You're right... I can't improve the human race... nor can i explore space. But those with the power to do those things chose not to do so. They'd rather fight amongst themselves over things as small as race, religions, power, and beliefs. I blame everyone else because they let these selfish bastards rise to power.
Either that, or rock out really hard.
Then see how you feel
Right. Blaming others has always been the easy way out. I don't suppose I can blame you for taking it. Why be different than anyone else?
Find out what makes you think that you're a coward and just stop being a coward. It's as simple as that. Don't even think about it. Just stop it and move on.
I've had a bad few days... got worse today when i got fired from my job for being a fall guy.
Okay, Owen, you haven't gone crazy. Yet, you'll join us in due time, but your time isn't now (You're good for about two more years, last I checked.). Anyhow, you're basically going through a stage in life, literally, everyone I've talked to goes through a point in life where everything just seems futile and you can't see any redeeming qualities in yourself. The only thing that can help you is yourself, really.
Canned Advice: Be happy, don't worry.
Serious Advice: It'll blow over soon enough, don't let things get to you like that, just be yourself and let God/Fate/Luck/Karma work you over... which sounds slightly odd.
Day 5... this is no longer me going crazy, everything IS falling apart, and it's happening piece by piece. My mother disowned me today, she started screaming and shouting at me for things i've done and said, then she told me her and my father are having marital problems and are getting divorced. On the way home some kid tried mugging me in broad daylight, even though i quelled the dispute, I was left with a strong feeling of violation. 5 days, 5 problems, no answers...
It has helped me through troubled times. Whether you are willing to help yourself is entirely up to you. Do or do not there is no try as yoda said.
I did see this movie once, I think it was called "The Game." Pretty much, this group of rich people would all get together and conspire against some guy. Anyone else see this? Then went as far as to kill people (might have been faking killing, not sure tbh) and get into car cashes with him etc.
This could be happening to you as well.
Wow--thats pretty bad.
Ok, I won't try to tell you you're not in a horrible situation, because obviously you <i>are</i> in a horrible situation. But it doesn't have to be the end of the world. Now you just have to decide whether you want to make your horrible situation slightly better today, or slightly worse today. You're going to face that decision every day for a while now, so get used to it. Every day, ask yourself, "Am I going to make my life slightly better today? Or slightly worse?" And then go do it. You may never get back to the "normal" that you had before, but you will eventually get to "decent".
PS--Maybe ask God for help? It couldn't hurt at this point, could it? You could even just go find a random church on a weekday afternoon (not Sunday), go inside, and ask to talk to the Pastor.
Stress and depression can alter your brain chemistry, making it near impossible to just "snap out of it." A psychiatrist is more than capable of helping you through your problems and most health care plans cover psychologists and psychiatrists. If you don't have health care, there are frequently psychiatric facilities that will provide services without charges or with charges that you and your family can pay for.
I've been through a similar situation. Parents divorcing, life sucks in general and you don't know what to do. I went on Prozac for a few weeks and went to therapy. The Prozac helped level me out and allowed me to get a few good nights of sleep. Depression can shoot your sleeping patterns to hell and that doesn't make life any easier. Therapy allowed me to work through problems that I was having but couldn't tell my family or friends.
A qualified psychiatrist is capable of identifying your problems and treating them with a series of therapy and/or medicines. I can guarentee that your problems are well within the capabilities of a psychiatrist and they aren't the worst things that he or she will ever have seen.
Don't think of it as fate conspiring against you. It's bad if you convince yourself that these things are happening well out of your control. There is always something you can do for yourself. Both cxwf and Finch made some good suggestions. If you are religious, your local pastor may be able to comfort you. Though I am not a religious person myself, I know that many church officials are good psychologists, very sensitive to needs and emphatic.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><span style='font-family:courier'>* lolfighter eatinates a pizza, and you don't get any
* Owen stabs lolfighter and hands out the pizza to the poor
<Owen> MESUER HOOD!</span><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Got me a good laugh out of that one, and that was only last wednesday.
Go play Morrowind and listen to what the Dunmer say: "Count only the happy hours."
But true, Music and Humour do help ease the blow.
thats about the same time you changed your sig right?
Your new sig looks very depressing, this is probably the cause of it all.
Thirsty Thursday?
I'm sorry I don't have anything constructive to add. Having your parents disown you and then get divorced must be really tough. I guess the only thing I can say is get help. Be it from a trained psychiatrist or a good trustworthy friend. It always feels better to get something off your chest by telling it to someone else. If your to shy to do this in real life AIM works wonders.
If that dosent work for you, just sit tight for awhile, you will meet someone who you love to hang out with. I met a few in the past month, so I'm always busy. Only time I get online anymore is at night when they all goto sleep. I dont sleep much anymore <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I had it bad about 2 years ago. I was already depressed, add parents getting divorced, breaking ankle jumping dirtbike (That will really mess with your mind, breaking something makes you feel so worthless especially something that keeps you from walking) and thus losing my favorite posession in the world: dirtbike, losing contact with all my friends because I couldent walk or do anything, and the usual constant harassment from school. ALL of that within a months period. Add it all up, I was feeling utterly destroyed. Dunno what I would do without my computer, keeps me from suicide sometimes I think.