I'll tell you one thing from the perspective of someone who has smoked for the past 5 years. You can't quit unless you really want to. And even then, it is FAR from easy.
It's not a case of "talk them out of it", it's an addiction, and after a few months, that addiction is a <b>total</b> **** to get rid of, i know.
I'm one of the smokers that knows it's a bad thing, if anyone asks me to stop smoking near them, i will, because i know i don't want to inflict it on other people, but if people ask me to quit, i'll generally just laugh at them since most of the people who think quitting is so easy are the people that have never been addicted to any intoxicating substance such as nicotine, alcohol, tetrahydrocannabinol, amphetamines, whatever.
The most you can, and should, do is support them, people are free to make their own choices, be it to harm themselves with this addiction, or whatever, but preaching to someone is not a way to win people over.
moultanoCreator of ns_shiva.Join Date: 2002-12-14Member: 10806Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts
edited June 2004
Its a medical fact that cigarettes are more addictive than crack. If you really want someone to quit smoking, have them replace their nicotine addiction with a crack addiction, and then help them get off the crack.
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
<!--QuoteBegin-CMEast+Jun 12 2004, 07:20 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CMEast @ Jun 12 2004, 07:20 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> If you love someone enough then you won't try and control their lives.
Smoking (and even some drugs) just isn't that big a deal. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> while my cousin was addicted to meth she weighed 90lbs, was running around having unprotected sex, and eventually landed in jail for four months.
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
by the way fellas, i talked to her and apologized for going off on her (i said a lot more to her than what i posted above). she forgave me n everything, and actually asked if i was okay.. because i sounded miserable ~,~. i was miserable from feeling so guilted, lol. but... i think for now, i'll try to deal with it. it's not THAT big a deal. she's not a chain smoker. she practices proper oral hygiene (not that it's the most important thing to me, but it's fairly important). etc.
so... a wee little bump in the perfect love story did us some good, i think. like a reaffirmation of what really matters.
<!--QuoteBegin-esuna+Jun 12 2004, 10:27 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Jun 12 2004, 10:27 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'll tell you one thing from the perspective of someone who has smoked for the past 5 years. You can't quit unless you really want to. And even then, it is FAR from easy.
It's not a case of "talk them out of it", it's an addiction, and after a few months, that addiction is a <b>total</b> **** to get rid of, i know.
I'm one of the smokers that knows it's a bad thing, if anyone asks me to stop smoking near them, i will, because i know i don't want to inflict it on other people, but if people ask me to quit, i'll generally just laugh at them since most of the people who think quitting is so easy are the people that have never been addicted to any intoxicating substance such as nicotine, alcohol, tetrahydrocannabinol, amphetamines, whatever.
The most you can, and should, do is support them, people are free to make their own choices, be it to harm themselves with this addiction, or whatever, but preaching to someone is not a way to win people over. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> tetrahydrocannabinol and alcohal aren't addictive.
<!--QuoteBegin-Elderwyrm+Jun 12 2004, 09:11 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Elderwyrm @ Jun 12 2004, 09:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->tetrahydrocannabinol and alcohal aren't addictive.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> I can vouch for the fact that Option A certainly is.
I don't care what anyone says, it took me a lot of time to quit, and someone really special to me asking me to. I can't see myself ever having stopped were it not for those circumstances, heh. It had no real negative effects on me, I kept my grades high and all, but I was <i>always</i> on it. I guess some people see that as a negative effect in itself, buut... Trust me, it's addictive.
Oh, and I hope you're not serious about alcohol not being addictive, heh. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Anyway, sounds like you're making some progress Zig, keep at it, just don't nag.
No, tetrahydrocannabinol and alcohal are both non addictive. You may have had a mental addiction to it, but it is certainly not physically addictive. Alcohal can also become addictive, but those people are alcohalics because they have a problem, not alcohal. Plenty of people enjoy both of these things without NEEDING it or having cravings or anything.
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
addictive is addictive. you can't go and say something isn't addictive when we have millions of alcoholics in the world. that is termed addiction (at least all the professionals i know call it addiction).
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->One entry found for addiction.
Main Entry: ad·dic·tion Pronunciation: &-'dik-sh&n, a- Function: noun 1 : the quality or state of being addicted <addiction to reading> 2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin-xioutlawix+Jun 11 2004, 07:02 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (xioutlawix @ Jun 11 2004, 07:02 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> From how the conversation went, it seems almost like she's just dancing around the issue for attention. Call her an attention **** and be done with it. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> I actually sensed a similar thing from the conversation. Of course I wouldn't call her a horehound ... it really seems like it is less of a general attention-grabbing method than a
"Please convince me you care about me by responding to my self-destructive behavior in a way that makes me feel loved."
Seriously. And if this is the case, you need to not over-react. Just be very reassuring and firm in your expression that it bothers you because you care. That may sound corny but do it however feels natural. Over-reacting can turn something as "innocent" as smoking into much more serious self-destructive calls for attention/love.
I guess you already over-reacted then, eh? Well, just watch yourself for when it happens again in another form <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Comments
It's not a case of "talk them out of it", it's an addiction, and after a few months, that addiction is a <b>total</b> **** to get rid of, i know.
I'm one of the smokers that knows it's a bad thing, if anyone asks me to stop smoking near them, i will, because i know i don't want to inflict it on other people, but if people ask me to quit, i'll generally just laugh at them since most of the people who think quitting is so easy are the people that have never been addicted to any intoxicating substance such as nicotine, alcohol, tetrahydrocannabinol, amphetamines, whatever.
The most you can, and should, do is support them, people are free to make their own choices, be it to harm themselves with this addiction, or whatever, but preaching to someone is not a way to win people over.
Smoking (and even some drugs) just isn't that big a deal. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
while my cousin was addicted to meth she weighed 90lbs, was running around having unprotected sex, and eventually landed in jail for four months.
not that big a deal.
so... a wee little bump in the perfect love story did us some good, i think. like a reaffirmation of what really matters.
thanks so much for all your input, fellas.
It's not a case of "talk them out of it", it's an addiction, and after a few months, that addiction is a <b>total</b> **** to get rid of, i know.
I'm one of the smokers that knows it's a bad thing, if anyone asks me to stop smoking near them, i will, because i know i don't want to inflict it on other people, but if people ask me to quit, i'll generally just laugh at them since most of the people who think quitting is so easy are the people that have never been addicted to any intoxicating substance such as nicotine, alcohol, tetrahydrocannabinol, amphetamines, whatever.
The most you can, and should, do is support them, people are free to make their own choices, be it to harm themselves with this addiction, or whatever, but preaching to someone is not a way to win people over. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
tetrahydrocannabinol and alcohal aren't addictive.
I can vouch for the fact that Option A certainly is.
I don't care what anyone says, it took me a lot of time to quit, and someone really special to me asking me to. I can't see myself ever having stopped were it not for those circumstances, heh. It had no real negative effects on me, I kept my grades high and all, but I was <i>always</i> on it. I guess some people see that as a negative effect in itself, buut... Trust me, it's addictive.
Oh, and I hope you're not serious about alcohol not being addictive, heh. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Anyway, sounds like you're making some progress Zig, keep at it, just don't nag.
Main Entry: ad·dic·tion
Pronunciation: &-'dik-sh&n, a-
Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being addicted <addiction to reading>
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Call her an attention **** and be done with it. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I actually sensed a similar thing from the conversation. Of course I wouldn't call her a horehound ... it really seems like it is less of a general attention-grabbing method than a
"Please convince me you care about me by responding to my self-destructive behavior in a way that makes me feel loved."
Seriously. And if this is the case, you need to not over-react. Just be very reassuring and firm in your expression that it bothers you because you care. That may sound corny but do it however feels natural. Over-reacting can turn something as "innocent" as smoking into much more serious self-destructive calls for attention/love.
I guess you already over-reacted then, eh? Well, just watch yourself for when it happens again in another form <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->