Friends: Alot Or A Little?
StormLiong
Join Date: 2002-12-27 Member: 11569Members
Join Date: 2002-12-27 Member: 11569Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Lets discuss</div> I have a life philosophy that you really just need a few friends who you can trust and who accept you as what you with whatever flaws you had. There is no need to have 101 friends who you met once at a party or something like that. I can be considered the most intorvert person but I still have a few very good friends who I could even trust my life with.
I had a situation once in university when some people were back-talking about me asking why I made no friends, joined no clubs, this is not the way to live uni etc etc. Only reason why I didn't cozy up to most of any one is because everyone seems to be just wanting to be ur class buddy to copy ur work or ask you to take attendance for them. I really hate the common social view that you must be friendly with everyone and have lots of friends even if you don't mean to.
Which brings me to networking. As in going to some social party making connections with other people to help you with your work. I really hate it because it really such a lie. That you really wouldn't want to meet with the person but you have to just to be able to move up in the ladder. You get "friends" from networking in the end but I'd rather meet someone who I really connect with. If I want to move up in the career ladder, I wan to move up based on my abilities and qualifications and not because I smoozed with the boss or something. Though I think reality doesnt allow that.
I had a situation once in university when some people were back-talking about me asking why I made no friends, joined no clubs, this is not the way to live uni etc etc. Only reason why I didn't cozy up to most of any one is because everyone seems to be just wanting to be ur class buddy to copy ur work or ask you to take attendance for them. I really hate the common social view that you must be friendly with everyone and have lots of friends even if you don't mean to.
Which brings me to networking. As in going to some social party making connections with other people to help you with your work. I really hate it because it really such a lie. That you really wouldn't want to meet with the person but you have to just to be able to move up in the ladder. You get "friends" from networking in the end but I'd rather meet someone who I really connect with. If I want to move up in the career ladder, I wan to move up based on my abilities and qualifications and not because I smoozed with the boss or something. Though I think reality doesnt allow that.
Comments
I don't find it very easy to make friends (of the hanging-out with sort) partially because often I don't feel comfortable with someone unless I know they aren't put off by my way of thinking/living, but probably mostly because I rarely feel like doing anything social. Maybe I'm living life the wrong way and I suspect that I am, but I'm content with this situation for the time being. I do miss being in a group of people and just being idiots/children for a day though...but to do that all the time, I don't think I'd find the time to do stuff that I want to do.
I do agree that you don't need a ton of really close friends, or you don't need 10 people with you to have a good time, but *only* having 2 or 3 friends doesn't leave much room if you want to say, go camping and need to find people free.
It's "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=a%20lot' target='_blank'>a lot</a>", not "alot". Perhaps you're thinking of "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=allot' target='_blank'>allot</a>"? It's not that either.
*twitch* *twitch*.
It won't get me far later on in life, I won't be liked, the most I can obtain is respect in other people's eyes.
That said...
Your theory is nothing more than psychological compensation for your shortcomings as a social human being.
It's "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=a%20lot' target='_blank'>a lot</a>", not "alot". Perhaps you're thinking of "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=allot' target='_blank'>allot</a>"? It's not that either.
*twitch* *twitch*. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well that unintentionally answers the friends question for you...
I have 5 really good friends that I could hang out with almost any time and a bunch of others that I have because I'm supposed to.
man shes so annoying...
TBH, I'd just say go with what you feel is the 'right amount' of friends.
Of course, I'm just the sort of guy who wants to live a normal life, not too popular and all that. More friends apparently means more enemies for me, so I avoid social interaction <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Seconded.
If you're a freelance...well, pretty much <i>anything</i>, really, connections are important, because otherwise you won't get any work.
It's "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=a%20lot' target='_blank'>a lot</a>", not "alot". Perhaps you're thinking of "<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=allot' target='_blank'>allot</a>"? It's not that either.
*twitch* *twitch*. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well that unintentionally answers the friends question for you... <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Oh, I'm well aware of the irony. Draw whatever conclusions you like.
Hehe. Sorry, couldn't resist <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Hehe. Sorry, couldn't resist <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Whoops, how'd that happen? <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I only use 'friend' for people I'm extremely close to, most people I know I slot under aquaintance, many of whom other people might call friends but acquaintance for me is no bad label, it's like a friend really i guess; I just keep the word for those I value above all.
Strangers I'll just talk to if I feel like it, I think we all know what a stranger is :3
Same goes for jerks ^^;
I don't see how people can live where they don't have any mates and they don't socialise. They turn all wierd and stuff, there's this boy at my work, I wouldn't be surprised if he's the next Bill Gates, but you can tell he's got no mates, the way he acts, talks. I don't mind him, the only thing is, we have this saying....
"Shyness is no excuse for rudeness"
...this boy, you say 'hello' to him, sometimes he just ignores you, he never says 'hello' first, disgusting in my opinion. I am never going to let my children be like that, and I don't know how or why his parents did.
This is an issue I feel very strongly about, and I hate seeing people like him, sure if they are having fun, good on them, but I can guarantee they will have a laugh if they start socialising, doing a few more things. I can't stay indoors for the whole day without doing something, I get so bored so I just call me mates up and we go out for a drink or something.
<span style='color:red'><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'><b>Just get out the house and stop playing games!!!</b></span></span> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
thats a VERY naive view.
im sure i know you somewhere robby.. i used to be Gc.WoLF and things? im sure i knew you somehow..something to do with db?
i used to have plenty of mates, but yeah only around 6 close ones....then last july i moved up north to live with my gf...
since then, i have got a **** job. and ive mad contacts. like movie buffs who come in to talk to me and things, nice people but wouldnt call em friends.. infact the closest friend i have? is a 46 year old mother of 5. crackin lady awesome sense of humour and nice to talk to lol. but i havent had any proper friends to go out with for over a year...
doesnt bother me.
i have lots of mates online... i am a gamer i do game.. but i am in no way this shy recluse.. i dont quite understand your post? your saying by not going out and socialising im crippling myself?
I have had many close friends but they seemt to go with the times.
ie: really good grade school friend(s), then as high school came around people either matureed or didnt.
Then people say that the friends you make in university will be your best ones. I agree with that as you lived with them for a good portion of your life.
But then as you graduate and go your separate ways, the same process from graduating high school repeats its self. You simply dont interact as much with your old buddies as much as you do with the new onew you make in your career. Everyone has gone off on their own separate indivual paths once again.
I have one really good friend who I met in college and now I get to work along side with.
fun fun! <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
That plus all my new friends at my job. I also keep in contact with a couple of my college friends too.
Though, people change, especially as you get older, and sometimes it's hard to stay friends, distance or work or whatever aside. I guess you get and lose some friends in stages - youth, school, work/marriage, later adult - and some will hang in for the ride, some won't.
Robby: Not that I know what that guy is like, but some people are just that way. They're not intentionally trying to be rude or anything, they just have issues interacting with people, whether it's social phobia or something else. And who's to say they'd be happier with other people? And what some people consider rude is not rude to others.