So I Just Threw Up

moultanomoultano Creator of ns_shiva.Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts Join Date: 2002-12-14 Member: 10806Posts: 4,219 Advanced user
and this is wierd as hell.
So many of you will probably put this firmly in the TMI category, but this is so weird that it really needs to be put on the internet.

So, I've been feeling like **** for the last couple of days. I've had a really weird combination of feeling like I'm full, and feeling like I'm starving. The overall effect is that it felt like nothing was getting from my stomach to the rest of my digestive system. This was pretty painful and nauseating, and I've had a difficult time getting any of my work done. So tonight, things finally came to fruition. (As an aside, I have to code tonight for distributed systems class, and my away message currently reads "I just cleaned out my trash can in case I have to puke while I'm coding." Pretty hardcore if you ask me.) So after a few hours trying to write the pieces of a Java RMI scheme while bemoaning my gut, a few hours holding my gut and not keeping up the pretense of coding, and a few hours kneeling with a toilet and a garbage can as my only companions, I finally managed to throw up. This is where it gets wierd.

In amongst my half digested food, I found the remains of a whole piece of paper.

Yep, paper.

Yknow what happens when a sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 is sitting out in the rain for a really long time? Looked about like that. Soggy white printer paper.

So I'm thinking, "How the **** did I swallow a piece of paper?" I mean seriously, this kind of **** doesn't just happen. I don't walk around thinking, "Man I could really go for a whole piece of paper right now." Then I remember, a week ago I had a dream in which I was standing in a walmart and eating a binder. I had a turquoise plastic binder in my hands, and I was tearing it up into little bits and eating it. I don't know if there is any connection, or if what I saw amongst my puke was even a piece of paper, but this **** is weird. I moved it around a bit with my finger, and it behaved exactly like a soggy piece of paper.

If I had to guess, I'd say it was blocking the valve from my stomach to the rest of me, and **** was just piling up on top of it.

Does this happen to people?
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Comments

  • RaVeRaVe Members Join Date: 2003-06-20 Member: 17538Posts: 3,515
    You must've been sleepwalking and maybe ate a whole piece of paper....sure sounds about right with eating the binder.
    Or you could've just, you know, eaten the paper in the binder?

    Still, seeing how you got paper inside amazes me.

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  • GadzukoGadzuko Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-12-26 Member: 11556Posts: 1,994
    Wow.

    I wish I was cool enough to throw up an entire piece of paper sad-fix.gif
  • GwahirGwahir Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Posts: 4,270
    I go with the sleep eating option.

    That beats me sleepwalking to turn off my alarm. I actually semi-woke-up during one of those episodes to find myself fumbling with the controls until I hit the right button. Then I immediately went full asleep and back to bed apparently...
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  • kidakida Members Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13778Posts: 1,458 Advanced user
  • TwelveTwelve Members Join Date: 2005-01-17 Member: 36044Posts: 95
    After many years in school making spitwads I know that eating a piece of paper that size is going to take some effort, you didn't find any leftover's anywhere ?
  • ChronoChrono Local flyboy Members Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18989Posts: 5,863
    i would say you possibly blacked out without knowing it (or remembering it) and ate a piece of paper then later while asleep you had a dream about it (most dreams are bits of information from your daily life) and i think you are right that it blocked your valve so nothing got past your stomach maybe you should go see a doctor because it might have caused some other damage to your body
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  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko hates endnotes Members Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Posts: 2,467
    The only I throw up, all I get is tiny little acidic chucks of a brownish-greenish color. Of course, even when I have food poisoing it's really hard to throw up, I have to physically lean over and press my arm into my stomach, even if it hurts like hell.


    I've puked twice in the last 9 years - once a few hours before my appendix was removed (when they were preparing to give me an X-ray...it looked a lot like acidic spit (hadn't eaten at all yet, woke up at 6 and had a really strong, dull pain in my abdomen...so no food or water in the last 18 hours when I did get to surgery)...plus it was like 2 free days of sleep, it rocked - plus I learned morphine has almost no effect on me tounge.gif (unlike having your wisdom teeth pulled...pffft).


    And then, about a year ago, after eating 3 apparently putrid beefsticks...trid throwing up 3 times (you know, how you can fake-burp tounge.gif )...then I finally got it to come out once.


    Man, what I would give for some awesome projectile vomiting...or to see some. That would be awesome. Vomiting paper rates about a 7 on my "Woot, that's cool...or something"-o'meter.
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  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Members Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Posts: 10,075
    That's a pretty crazy story, and I'm going with the sleepwalking on this one. My friend said he woke up at night and went to take a ****, so opened the seat. But he realized that it was the trashcan just in time to ask himself "What the hell?"
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  • MedHeadMedHead Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-12-19 Member: 11115Posts: 2,729
    Sounds like it's exactly what you already considered. You had an incident of sleepwalking, ate some paper, and blocked up your colon. This can also happen if you don't make a bowel movement every day. You clogged the pipes. Fortunately, you got it out quickly, before a hospital visit was necessary.
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  • napinapi Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14172Posts: 962
    nanites?



    biggrin-fix.gif




    Are you sure you didn't absentmindedly drop a piece of paper into the bin after you took out the trash? Or could one have been knocked off your desk into it... did any one else go in your room and might have put some paper in the bin?

    Or maybe the paper is why you've been feeling so ill.. can't imagine how you managed to swallow it though :|
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  • DefianceDefiance Members Join Date: 2003-12-01 Member: 23847Posts: 437
    rofl
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  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Members Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Posts: 6,072
    Jesus Christos, how in the nine circles of hell did you manage to eat a whole piece of paper in your sleep? I can't tell if I think that is cool or really disturbing, but one thing is for sure, I'm gonna tie myself to my bed out of fear of anything like that happening to me for the next few days lol. Wow. Just wow.
  • GlissGliss Members, Constellation, NS2 Map Tester Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14800Posts: 5,161 Fully active user
    I sleep with my binder right next to me D:

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  • NecroticNecrotic Big Girl's Blouse Members, NS1 Playtester Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 53Posts: 1,441
    When I was a kid I ate a load of Fox mints with plastic wrappers on without taking the plastic off. I was halfway through the pack before I realised, I thought they were just crappy exteriors filled with minty goodness.
    For years afterwards I had stomach problems and eventually I ended up in hospital over it, they took an X-Ray of my stomach and said "Theres something covering the lining of your stomach but we can't tell what it is without surgery" as I was feeling better at the time and hated hospitals I left without having myself opened up.

    Recently I've begun to wonder if those plastic wrappers were my downfall.
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  • DaedalusDaedalus Members Join Date: 2003-04-02 Member: 15152Posts: 219
    All I can think of are internal paper cuts. Painfull.
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Members Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Posts: 4,646
    Wouldn't any amount of paper in your stomach get totally dissolved before you could puke it up? Stomach acid is strong stuf, and paper generally isn't.
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  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Members Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Posts: 7,018
    QUOTE (AllUrHiveRblong2us @ Feb 3 2005, 05:23 AM)
    Wouldn't any amount of paper in your stomach get totally dissolved before you could puke it up? Stomach acid is strong stuf, and paper generally isn't.

    ya, I'd be surprized if paper lasted that long in your stomach... although printer paper is a fair bit sturdier then most papers...
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  • AldarisAldaris Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-03-25 Member: 351Posts: 976 Advanced user
    QUOTE (AllUrHiveRblong2us @ Feb 3 2005, 10:23 AM)
    Wouldn't any amount of paper in your stomach get totally dissolved before you could puke it up? Stomach acid is strong stuf, and paper generally isn't.

    Several things: Stomach acid doesn't actually do any dissolving whatsoever. Its actually pretty weak in the grand scheme of things, and is only there to kill bacteria and maintain pH. Second is that paper is made of cellulose, an undigestable (to humans) polysaccharide.
    QUOTE(NeonSpyder @ Feb 2 2005, 02:18 AM)
    Oh god, mental image of DOOManiac molesting a cheeseburger, oh god, I'm going to die. This is what dying feels like... like pain. Pain with teeth.
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Members Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Posts: 4,153
    edited February 2005
    QUOTE (Necrotic @ Feb 3 2005, 04:14 AM)
    When I was a kid I ate a load of Fox mints with plastic wrappers on without taking the plastic off. I was halfway through the pack before I realised, I thought they were just crappy exteriors filled with minty goodness. 
    For years afterwards I had stomach problems and eventually I ended up in hospital over it, they took an X-Ray of my stomach and said "Theres something covering the lining of your stomach but we can't tell what it is without surgery" as I was feeling better at the time and hated hospitals I left without having myself opened up.

    Recently I've begun to wonder if those plastic wrappers were my downfall.

    wow...

    If it wernt for the potential health problems Id say thats pretty funny.

    "Crappy Exterior filled with minty goodness?"



    Jeez i guess.
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  • Steel_TrollSteel_Troll Members Join Date: 2004-02-12 Member: 26455Posts: 550
    QUOTE (Aldaris @ Feb 3 2005, 07:28 AM)
    QUOTE (AllUrHiveRblong2us @ Feb 3 2005, 10:23 AM)
    Wouldn't any amount of paper in your stomach get totally dissolved before you could puke it up? Stomach acid is strong stuf, and paper generally isn't.

    Several things: Stomach acid doesn't actually do any dissolving whatsoever. Its actually pretty weak in the grand scheme of things, and is only there to kill bacteria and maintain pH. Second is that paper is made of cellulose, an undigestable (to humans) polysaccharide.

    Erm, no, Stomach acid is pretty manky and quite strong.
    This weekend i went to a house party, and drank a little too much (4tehwin!) and i ended up throwwing up(although the weird smelling salts in a bottle could have had something to do with that) anyhooo as i was saying i threw up, and didnt rinse my mouth properly, 5 minutes later i had a burning soft palate and i could feel my teeth getting slimy and gritty(Burn HCL Burn!)

    Random fact Bulemics have scars on the back of their hands due to wiping their mouths with the back of their hands and not washing em properly therefore allowing the HCL to bur them. Paper, if left in HCL overnight WILL start dissolving.
    So im guessing if a piece of paper was in the stomach for a few days with HCL and other food and muscle constriction and stomach churning, then it should have been dissolved, unless you have a very weak stomach pH

    Im quite stumped at why the paper did not dissolve...

    (this is the sickest post ive posted)
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  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Members Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Posts: 3,316 Advanced user
    QUOTE (Liku @ Feb 3 2005, 02:08 AM)
    That's a pretty crazy story, and I'm going with the sleepwalking on this one. My friend said he woke up at night and went to take a ****, so opened the seat. But he realized that it was the trashcan just in time to ask himself "What the hell?"

    Your friend was lucky, I couldn't stop once I started.

    Also it was a laundry hamper.
    QUOTE (Gwahir @ Jun 2 2008, 06:30 PM) »
    QUOTE (Abra @ Jun 2 2008, 06:19 PM) »
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  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi! Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Posts: 6,132
    QUOTE (kida @ Feb 3 2005, 07:13 AM)
    aliens

    Seconded. Either that or someone has slipped a drug in to your food within the last week. Always prepare your own meals smile-fix.gif
  • TheDestroyerTheDestroyer Tooobah Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-07-12 Member: 18123Posts: 737 Fully active user
    Maybe you wrote something on there that was really good. So you had it on mind, and you subconscience mis-interpreted what you were thinking, causing the dream and the eating of the paper.

    Meh. Just an idea.
  • AlienCowAlienCow Members Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Posts: 1,769
    Ahah, thank you. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time smile-fix.gif

    Hope you solve your...problems. tounge.gif
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  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi! Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Posts: 6,132
    Haha I just thought, its that crazy CS tutor of yours! He's made you sick to the stomach with poetry! Sorry, childish but the thought amused me:D
  • NumbersNotFoundNumbersNotFound Members Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7556Posts: 1,937
    I cannot think how in the heck you could physicsally eat an entire sheet of paper without breaking it up.

    I'd choke on something that big.
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  • JezpuhJezpuh Banned Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15157Posts: 4,108
    QUOTE (Daedalus @ Feb 3 2005, 11:17 AM)
    All I can think of are internal paper cuts. Painfull.

    Wet, half digested paper doesn't cut you tounge.gif
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  • Ice9Ice9 Members Join Date: 2004-06-09 Member: 29208Posts: 220
    The paper would have to be folded... I'm not sure a whole piece of paper can fit in one's stomache unless it is folded twice horizontally and then rolled vertically. Mmm, bleach!
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  • NakedDaveNakedDave Members Join Date: 2005-01-07 Member: 33294Posts: 51
    no offense, but that might not have been paper. If you still feel bad, etc. SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.

    Sorry I didn't notice this until now.
  • MedHeadMedHead Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-12-19 Member: 11115Posts: 2,729
    Instead of spreading fear, why not explain what else it could be?
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