I love my mother She has no DVD Rom Do it for my mom! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Should be winner. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> What, so his poor mother can watch DVDs on the computer and ruin her eyes? Buy her a DVD player man <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
douchebagatronCustom member titleJoin Date: 2003-12-20Member: 24581Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
edited January 2005
much time has past since i purchased my drive many months it last but now tis not so alive
it used to work perfectly but now it's literacy has failed me i shouldn't of stopped at one for errors of CRC make its life done.
it is tough to replace such a needed part for finding another to fill my heart is not an easy chore but if doomaniac may help, i will become his wh... best friend
I wish to construct A brand new comp to revel in new game glory
Unfortunately Overseas shipping prices would kill my wallet
<span style='font-size:5pt;line-height:100%'>Thusly I am not eligible</span> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I dont want to win this prize I'm simply waiting until this bundle dies One, now two days have gone by With each new contest I'm starting to sigh
Pants, dice, what the hell Just give me the damn video card So I can bring it to show and tell Wait, what, Tycho has won! What the friggn crap This is no more fun Doom your messing with my head Just go to the next prize My eyes are turning red
This poem really has no aim It's just me being bored And very tired of playing video games I think I'm going to take off now Seeya, bbl, and like the chinese say it Chow
I would so love to have that 1.5 ghz cpu with the motherboard <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
reason: Compiling ns_containment with a 466mhz cpu and 128mb RAM aint gonna get it done before ns is lost in time <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Legionnaired+Jan 31 2005, 02:29 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Legionnaired @ Jan 31 2005, 02:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> First poster starting with L and ending in red! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Name contest, Doomeh! Name contest!
Marik_SteeleTo rule in hell...Join Date: 2002-11-20Member: 9466Members
edited January 2005
Whatever it is, I liked how the last one forced people to be more creative and took away the time-dependent factor. Gives everyone here a better chance, and even the people who didn't want it were able to read the funny stuff.
You can probably guess I'm not in favor of a username-related decision <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
douchebagatronCustom member titleJoin Date: 2003-12-20Member: 24581Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
im curious as to who the finalists were in that decision. i thought that my poem was worthy of at least on honorable mention <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<b>Bundle 5</b>: GeForce 1 DDR <b>How to win</b>: Write a short story. It can be about anything you want, and can be in any setting. However it must include this character: Static Man. Any character traits to this character are left completely up to you. Best one wins.
Omega_DeathSith apprentice to a box of CerealJoin Date: 2003-08-06Member: 19042Members
The air is dark and damp. Static Man stands unmoving. He holds still, his friends all look at him and inquire as to why he is so still. They get frustrated and continue on. Another group comes by and the same song is sung. This happens again and again until a special friend comes along.
Skulkie kills Static Man with bitegun.
How ever this cannot stop Static Man he is unmoving, he is AFK. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Omega Death+Feb 1 2005, 12:31 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Omega Death @ Feb 1 2005, 12:31 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> The air is dark and damp. Static Man stands unmoving. He holds still, his friends all look at him and inquire as to why he is so still. They get frustrated and continue on. Another group comes by and the same song is sung. This happens again and again until a special friend comes along.
Skulkie kills Static Man with bitegun.
How ever this cannot stop Static Man he is unmoving, he is AFK. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> =/ his super power is to be static?
“Hello, welcome to Taco Bell, Order when you’re ready” said the speaker imbedded in the menu at the Taco Bell drive-through. I was in a hurry, I needed to be at the game 10 minutes ago, but my stomach was killing me, I needed food badly. “Yes, I’ll take a number two with a Pepsi please.” “Thank you, your total is $3.97. Pull up to the window please.” Normally, I’d look through the bag to ensure that my order was placed correctly, but I was already running late and was in a rush to get to Invesco Field. I pulled up the window, paid, grabbed my order and sped off. I drove down Kipling to 6th Avenue at a slightly above legal speed. “I probably will already miss the kickoff”, I told myself. As I pulled onto the highway, I inserted the straw into my drink and began to sip as I drove. I reached inside the bag to get my Grilled Stuffed Burrito to eat while I was driving, but I did not find my burrito. It its place was 3 wads of $100 bills. There must have been $30,000 in there! I was shocked beyond belief to say the least, I forgot that I was driving for a second and nearly ran another car off the road. “Why the hell is there all of this money in my Taco Bell bag?” I said to myself. I was still trying to figure out why the money was in the bag as I felt a bump from behind. There was an odd looking vehicle behind me, ramming my rear bumper. I didn’t know what was going on, my mind was racing and I was trying to think straight. BUMP. I was rammed again. I looked out my passenger side mirror and saw Static Man leaning out of the window of the tailing car, waving for me to pull over. I floored the gas to try to escape. BOOM, Static Man rammed me again. My Geo Metro was no match for the gigantic electro car of DOOM(aniac). I checked my mirror again and saw Static Man pull out a gun of some sort and aim for my car. He fired a single shot, presumably as a warning shot. I gave up, I just wanted a burrito, I didn’t feel like dieing today. I turned on my turn signal, letting the driver behind me know that I intended to pull over. I stopped on the shoulder of the highway. The oversized super villan car stopped behind me and Static Man stepped out. I assumed he wanted the money so I hurled it out the open window. The odnly dressed man ran to the bag and I took off as fast as my little car would take me. I got off at the first exit I came to and tried to get as far out of the way as I could. I pulled over on a residential street, turned off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. I sat in my car for a while, dwelling on what just happened, trying to figure out exactly what happened. To this day, I still don’t know exactly why there was $30,000 in my bag, but from now on, I’ll never leave the drive-through without first verifying that my order is indeed my order!
Replying for comedy, not for any desire for the prize. (ME NO WANT PRIZE!)
The air felt charged. Charged with deception. The "Bounce" had claimed it would stop static cling, but he could feel the hairs rise on his neck even as he dumped the laundry onto his table. Mild-mannered Sam Shovel looked around the room expectantly, his body tense as he waited for the inevitable blasts that would soon assail him. As he pick up the first sock, he noticed something different. This sock was green. That in itself wasn't all that remarkable, seeing as he rarely did his laundry, but this sock was GLOWING green. His devil-may-care attitude got the best of him, and he tried pulling the socks apart.
SHPAZOWAM!!!!oneoneeleven
Shovel was thrown against the wall, the back of his head connecting with the wall. All went dark.
When he came to, he found that all the clothes in his room were piled upon him. With practice, and dedication, he was soon able to refine his powers. Now, he could control clothes at will. OThers would have ignored this seemingly-paltry power, and yet others would have used it for evil. But Sam knew that with great power came great responsibility, as he had seen the movie <i>Spiderman</i>. Donning his D&D roleplaying cape, and holstering his +9 Sword of Justice, the docile Sam transforms into.....
STATIC MAN!
With the ability to control clothes at his whim, nothing can stop Sam from going on AMAZING panty raids! I mean fighting crime!
Sam leaps into the battle against crime, with his trademark cry , "Static CLING!"
Bored+needs to write a paper on literary techniques in MobyDick (Bad swear filter! Bad boy!) =this story.
In order to understand our selves, we must first understand Static Man. At one stage or another, every man woman or child will be faced with the issue of Static Man. Though Static Man is a favourite topic of discussion amongst monarchs, presidents and dictators, it is impossible to overestimate its impact on modern thought. Since it was first compared to antidisestablishmentarianism much has been said concerning Static Man by global commercial enterprises, many of whom blame the influence of television. In the light of this I will break down the issues in order to give each of them the thought that they fully deserve
Social Factors
Society is a simple word with a very complex definition. Upon Peter Pinkleton-PishPosh's return to Britain he remarked 'class will refelect the inner hero' [1], he could have been making a reference to Static Man, but probably not. Both tyranny and democracy are tried and questioned. Yet Static Man is quite good.
Status, Security, Fame - Static Man, all revolve around this 'golden fleece'. It breaks the mould, shattering man's misunderstanding of man.
Economic Factors
Economics has been defined as 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.' To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. Of course, Static Man fits perfectly into the Inter-Spam model, a complex but ultimately rewarding system.
Clearly the graphs demonstrates a strong correlation. Why is this? Obviously the cost of living world wide are driven entirely by Static Man. Strong fluctuations in investor confidence have been seen over the past two financial years.
Political Factors
Posturing as concerned patriarchs, many politicians guide the electorate herd to the inevitable cattle shed of 'equal opportunity.' Comparing Static Man and much of what has been written of it can be like comparing Static Manism and post-Static Manism.
To quote nobel prize winner Demetrius Lionel Forbes Dickinson 'Man's greatest enemy is complacency with regards to personal and political hygiene.' [2] Amazingly, he new nothing of Static Man until he was well into his thirties. History tells us that Static Man will always be a vote winner, whether we like it, or not. One thing's certain. The Human species liberally desires Static Man, and what's more human than politics?
Conclusion
How much responsibility lies with Static Man? We can say that Static Man parades along man's streets and man waves back. It collaborates successfully, influences the influencers, and most importantly it perseveres.
I will leave you with the words of Hollywood's Christina Lennon: 'I wouldn't be where I am today without Static Man.' [3]
/don't count this doom, I'm just bored. I'm waiting for the GF4, although I think it's fun to do all the contests <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
In the depths of the dense forest of Mukachacha, lies the remainders of the evil monster ONCE known as Static Man. Static Man was no ordinary man, in fact he's not even Static, that's just his name. Static Man was an ordinary person like you and I. If you're catching on to this, you should know that Static Man died long ago. That's right, he's DEAD...DEAD like roadkill. Ever see gremlins? Perhaps Gremlins 2 : The new Batch? If so, then your lucky because you've truly seen static man. He's the damn little gremlin that got all the other gremlins killed after they were sprayed with water. There you have it, Static Man's tale.
In that case I guess he really was static...I always contradict myself, damnit!
<img src='http://www.sixsixfive.com/shockmaster.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' /> <i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i>
<!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Jan 31 2005, 05:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Jan 31 2005, 05:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <img src='http://www.sixsixfive.com/shockmaster.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' /> <i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Haha! I vote for flint!
Alcapwn"War is the science of destruction" - John AbbotJoin Date: 2003-06-21Member: 17590Members
<!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Jan 31 2005, 07:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Jan 31 2005, 07:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <img src='http://www.sixsixfive.com/shockmaster.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' /> <i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> ROFL
When many of us hear the word "superhero", many things come to mind; Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the X-Men, but what seperates them from Static Man is truth. Static Man was a real super hero, while he may not be able to climb on walls or repel bullets off of his chest; he was a superhero nontheless. One day while he was walking to the Library to sign his new autobiography titled "The Man behind the Static", he picked up some strange signals in the airwaves surrounding his body, he recognized it to be German morse code. Being the do-gooder that Static Man is he decided to investigate to make sure everything was okay. He pinpointed the frequency and found out that it was being emitted from the very ground that he was curently standing on. After prying open a manhole cover to investigate the strange frequency, he followd a long sewer tunnel to what appeared to be an underground Nazi base. Static Man used his powers to cause an electromagnetic shock that filled the room and thus disabled the morse code machines and other electronic devices in the room. He unscrewed the end of his finger to reveal a small nozzle which he activated and released SARS into the room. Upon realizing what the mysterious gas was that they were enhaling the Nazis jumped into the oozing river of slime and Shenade O'Conner CDs in an attempt to wash the noxious fumes off of their skin. With in minutes the lethal O'Conner CDs had disolved the bodies of the nazis, all except for one who refused to jump into the Compact-Disc infected stream. The lone Nazi was reported to be nearly seven feet tall and about 320 pounds, Static Man knew he would be in for a fight. In an odd twist, the Nazi turned out to be very sympathetic to humanity and therefore did not want to fight the great Static Man, so they decided to play a game of Battleship:Talking Edition (with lights and sounds 11111!!!). The heated battle went on for a good two hours when they were both left with two ships; the patrol boats, that each had one hit on them. Static Man delivered the final blow when he said "B7!!", and the Nazi could only respond with "ICH GLEIBENSCHIENER, MADR KINDERFODDER!" In shame, the lone Nazi flung himself into the river of the ultimate obscenities (Shenade O'Conner and slime), and the tale was over. Or was it.... On Static Man's way out of the udnerground Nazi base, he discovered what appeared to be a shimering object in the wall of the sewer, he had discovered the lost Arc of the Covenant, and he now realized what the Nazis were in search of the whole time. To this day Static Man still has the chest of the Covenant and it now sits in his living room serving perfectly as a magazing rack. Static Man foiled the Nazi's secret plot to obtain the Arc of the Covenant and the powers that came with it, not bad for a days work.
Comments
I would thrive because I could
Watch all of my films.
I am very poor. Aww.
My wallet is not full. Bah.
Please make me happy.
Wannabe pilot Caboose
can't fly correctly
I love my mother
She has no DVD Rom
Do it for my mom! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Should be winner.
Wannabe pilot Caboose
can't fly correctly
I love my mother
She has no DVD Rom
Do it for my mom! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Should be winner. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
What, so his poor mother can watch DVDs on the computer and ruin her eyes? Buy her a DVD player man <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
since i purchased my drive
many months it last
but now tis not so alive
it used to work perfectly
but now it's literacy has failed me
i shouldn't of stopped at one
for errors of CRC make its life done.
it is tough to replace such a needed part
for finding another to fill my heart
is not an easy chore
but if doomaniac may help, i will become his wh... best friend
A brand new comp to revel
in new game glory
Unfortunately
Overseas shipping prices
would kill my wallet
<span style='font-size:5pt;line-height:100%'>Thusly I am not eligible</span> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
maniac. He has honor
because he likes doom
TychoCelchuuu is the winner! Congratulate and/or pants him.
I'm simply waiting until this bundle dies
One, now two days have gone by
With each new contest
I'm starting to sigh
Pants, dice, what the hell
Just give me the damn video card
So I can bring it to show and tell
Wait, what, Tycho has won!
What the friggn crap
This is no more fun
Doom your messing with my head
Just go to the next prize
My eyes are turning red
This poem really has no aim
It's just me being bored
And very tired of playing video games
I think I'm going to take off now
Seeya, bbl, and like the chinese say it
Chow
reason: Compiling ns_containment with a 466mhz cpu and 128mb RAM aint gonna get it done before ns is lost in time <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Bundle #5 is coming later today, but I need to think of a good way to determine the winner. Something better than what I've done previously...
Ideas?
Name contest, Doomeh! Name contest!
You can probably guess I'm not in favor of a username-related decision <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<b>Bundle 5</b>: GeForce 1 DDR
<b>How to win</b>: Write a short story. It can be about anything you want, and can be in any setting. However it must include this character: Static Man. Any character traits to this character are left completely up to you. Best one wins.
Good luck!
moral: remember your wristband.
edit: note: /me doesn't want/need gef1
Skulkie kills Static Man with bitegun.
How ever this cannot stop Static Man he is unmoving, he is AFK. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Skulkie kills Static Man with bitegun.
How ever this cannot stop Static Man he is unmoving, he is AFK. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
=/ his super power is to be static?
Normally, I’d look through the bag to ensure that my order was placed correctly, but I was already running late and was in a rush to get to Invesco Field. I pulled up the window, paid, grabbed my order and sped off. I drove down Kipling to 6th Avenue at a slightly above legal speed. “I probably will already miss the kickoff”, I told myself. As I pulled onto the highway, I inserted the straw into my drink and began to sip as I drove. I reached inside the bag to get my Grilled Stuffed Burrito to eat while I was driving, but I did not find my burrito. It its place was 3 wads of $100 bills. There must have been $30,000 in there! I was shocked beyond belief to say the least, I forgot that I was driving for a second and nearly ran another car off the road.
“Why the hell is there all of this money in my Taco Bell bag?” I said to myself. I was still trying to figure out why the money was in the bag as I felt a bump from behind. There was an odd looking vehicle behind me, ramming my rear bumper. I didn’t know what was going on, my mind was racing and I was trying to think straight. BUMP. I was rammed again. I looked out my passenger side mirror and saw Static Man leaning out of the window of the tailing car, waving for me to pull over. I floored the gas to try to escape.
BOOM, Static Man rammed me again. My Geo Metro was no match for the gigantic electro car of DOOM(aniac). I checked my mirror again and saw Static Man pull out a gun of some sort and aim for my car. He fired a single shot, presumably as a warning shot. I gave up, I just wanted a burrito, I didn’t feel like dieing today. I turned on my turn signal, letting the driver behind me know that I intended to pull over. I stopped on the shoulder of the highway. The oversized super villan car stopped behind me and Static Man stepped out. I assumed he wanted the money so I hurled it out the open window. The odnly dressed man ran to the bag and I took off as fast as my little car would take me.
I got off at the first exit I came to and tried to get as far out of the way as I could. I pulled over on a residential street, turned off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. I sat in my car for a while, dwelling on what just happened, trying to figure out exactly what happened. To this day, I still don’t know exactly why there was $30,000 in my bag, but from now on, I’ll never leave the drive-through without first verifying that my order is indeed my order!
The air felt charged. Charged with deception. The "Bounce" had claimed it would stop static cling, but he could feel the hairs rise on his neck even as he dumped the laundry onto his table. Mild-mannered Sam Shovel looked around the room expectantly, his body tense as he waited for the inevitable blasts that would soon assail him. As he pick up the first sock, he noticed something different. This sock was green. That in itself wasn't all that remarkable, seeing as he rarely did his laundry, but this sock was GLOWING green. His devil-may-care attitude got the best of him, and he tried pulling the socks apart.
SHPAZOWAM!!!!oneoneeleven
Shovel was thrown against the wall, the back of his head connecting with the wall. All went dark.
When he came to, he found that all the clothes in his room were piled upon him. With practice, and dedication, he was soon able to refine his powers. Now, he could control clothes at will. OThers would have ignored this seemingly-paltry power, and yet others would have used it for evil. But Sam knew that with great power came great responsibility, as he had seen the movie <i>Spiderman</i>. Donning his D&D roleplaying cape, and holstering his +9 Sword of Justice, the docile Sam transforms into.....
STATIC MAN!
With the ability to control clothes at his whim, nothing can stop Sam from going on AMAZING panty raids! I mean fighting crime!
Sam leaps into the battle against crime, with his trademark cry , "Static CLING!"
Bored+needs to write a paper on literary techniques in MobyDick (Bad swear filter! Bad boy!) =this story.
In order to understand our selves, we must first understand Static Man. At one stage or another, every man woman or child will be faced with the issue of Static Man. Though Static Man is a favourite topic of discussion amongst monarchs, presidents and dictators, it is impossible to overestimate its impact on modern thought. Since it was first compared to antidisestablishmentarianism much has been said concerning Static Man by global commercial enterprises, many of whom blame the influence of television. In the light of this I will break down the issues in order to give each of them the thought that they fully deserve
Social Factors
Society is a simple word with a very complex definition. Upon Peter Pinkleton-PishPosh's return to Britain he remarked 'class will refelect the inner hero' [1], he could have been making a reference to Static Man, but probably not. Both tyranny and democracy are tried and questioned. Yet Static Man is quite good.
Status, Security, Fame - Static Man, all revolve around this 'golden fleece'. It breaks the mould, shattering man's misunderstanding of man.
Economic Factors
Economics has been defined as 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.' To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. Of course, Static Man fits perfectly into the Inter-Spam model, a complex but ultimately rewarding system.
<img src='http://img195.exs.cx/img195/5729/graphdown19cu.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
Clearly the graphs demonstrates a strong correlation. Why is this? Obviously the cost of living world wide are driven entirely by Static Man. Strong fluctuations in investor confidence have been seen over the past two financial years.
Political Factors
Posturing as concerned patriarchs, many politicians guide the electorate herd to the inevitable cattle shed of 'equal opportunity.' Comparing Static Man and much of what has been written of it can be like comparing Static Manism and post-Static Manism.
To quote nobel prize winner Demetrius Lionel Forbes Dickinson 'Man's greatest enemy is complacency with regards to personal and political hygiene.' [2] Amazingly, he new nothing of Static Man until he was well into his thirties. History tells us that Static Man will always be a vote winner, whether we like it, or not.
One thing's certain. The Human species liberally desires Static Man, and what's more human than politics?
Conclusion
How much responsibility lies with Static Man? We can say that Static Man parades along man's streets and man waves back. It collaborates successfully, influences the influencers, and most importantly it perseveres.
I will leave you with the words of Hollywood's Christina Lennon: 'I wouldn't be where I am today without Static Man.' [3]
In the depths of the dense forest of Mukachacha, lies the remainders of the evil monster ONCE known as Static Man. Static Man was no ordinary man, in fact he's not even Static, that's just his name. Static Man was an ordinary person like you and I. If you're catching on to this, you should know that Static Man died long ago. That's right, he's DEAD...DEAD like roadkill. Ever see gremlins? Perhaps Gremlins 2 : The new Batch? If so, then your lucky because you've truly seen static man. He's the damn little gremlin that got all the other gremlins killed after they were sprayed with water. There you have it, Static Man's tale.
In that case I guess he really was static...I always contradict myself, damnit!
<i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i>
<i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Haha! I vote for flint!
<i>"Hello kids. Static-Man here, professional wrestler and all-round bad guy. Ha ha ha - only kidding! You've got to laugh, eh? To be honest, life's been rather cruel to the ol' Stat-Man for the last couple of years. Man, back in the day, it seemed like I could do no wrong. Has it gotten to the point where the common man is so bitter with jealously that he will persecute those who have had just the smallest taste of success? Take the police for example: obnoxious hypocrites. They claim to protect the innocent and apprehend the guilty, so why do they continue to hound the Stat-ster? For the last time: I was WRESTLING that young boy. He said so himself! His words: "S-S-S-Static-Man rolled me up with his School Boy maneuver." And those foreign marks on his frail body? It was a hardcore match! We just used items found around the house to take our physical endurance to the limit in the sport of champions. Just your run-of-the-mill whips, chairs, handcuffs, tables, cream. Nothing out of the ordinary. The small-minded imbeciles! Anyway, must dash - I'm due in court for manslaughter!"</i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
ROFL
When many of us hear the word "superhero", many things come to mind; Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the X-Men, but what seperates them from Static Man is truth. Static Man was a real super hero, while he may not be able to climb on walls or repel bullets off of his chest; he was a superhero nontheless. One day while he was walking to the Library to sign his new autobiography titled "The Man behind the Static", he picked up some strange signals in the airwaves surrounding his body, he recognized it to be German morse code. Being the do-gooder that Static Man is he decided to investigate to make sure everything was okay. He pinpointed the frequency and found out that it was being emitted from the very ground that he was curently standing on. After prying open a manhole cover to investigate the strange frequency, he followd a long sewer tunnel to what appeared to be an underground Nazi base. Static Man used his powers to cause an electromagnetic shock that filled the room and thus disabled the morse code machines and other electronic devices in the room. He unscrewed the end of his finger to reveal a small nozzle which he activated and released SARS into the room. Upon realizing what the mysterious gas was that they were enhaling the Nazis jumped into the oozing river of slime and Shenade O'Conner CDs in an attempt to wash the noxious fumes off of their skin. With in minutes the lethal O'Conner CDs had disolved the bodies of the nazis, all except for one who refused to jump into the Compact-Disc infected stream. The lone Nazi was reported to be nearly seven feet tall and about 320 pounds, Static Man knew he would be in for a fight. In an odd twist, the Nazi turned out to be very sympathetic to humanity and therefore did not want to fight the great Static Man, so they decided to play a game of Battleship:Talking Edition (with lights and sounds 11111!!!). The heated battle went on for a good two hours when they were both left with two ships; the patrol boats, that each had one hit on them. Static Man delivered the final blow when he said "B7!!", and the Nazi could only respond with "ICH GLEIBENSCHIENER, MADR KINDERFODDER!" In shame, the lone Nazi flung himself into the river of the ultimate obscenities (Shenade O'Conner and slime), and the tale was over. Or was it.... On Static Man's way out of the udnerground Nazi base, he discovered what appeared to be a shimering object in the wall of the sewer, he had discovered the lost Arc of the Covenant, and he now realized what the Nazis were in search of the whole time. To this day Static Man still has the chest of the Covenant and it now sits in his living room serving perfectly as a magazing rack. Static Man foiled the Nazi's secret plot to obtain the Arc of the Covenant and the powers that came with it, not bad for a days work.
The End.