and the last piece of work finished today, the completely new readyroom. I ran into some trouble with the source hive. the angled brushes dont let the player pass in a decent way and it gets reallyannoying when oyu wlak up the wall just because you hit the edge of a face. have to work on that. tomorrow. or... dunno. thanks to mr headcrap we have a COMPLETELY new mining suit, very nice work.
<!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> gravity please hsot thsi images because i'm not seeing nothing. i try wiht firefox and opera but dindt work, i dont see nothing just a broke image.
moultanoCreator of ns_shiva.Join Date: 2002-12-14Member: 10806Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts
edited April 2005
Hawt ****.
I'd add more spotlights personally. For some reason I always picture docking bays as having angled spotlights going everywhere and being eye bleedingly bright.
I know you've been fighting alot with clipnodes and such, but it'd be reeeeaally sexy if you could spice up those rock sections in the ceiling. Either way it's really nice though.
<!--QuoteBegin-brute force+Apr 25 2005, 08:53 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (brute force @ Apr 25 2005, 08:53 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I know you've been fighting alot with clipnodes and such, but it'd be reeeeaally sexy if you could spice up those rock sections in the ceiling. Either way it's really nice though. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> and Im pretty shure you guys want to kill me:
because you WONT be able to walk through that landing bay!!! (!!!)
thats why it doesnt matter if I add some more detail to the rock surface because the whole room is "clipnoted". the real rr is the part where you can see the green font in the doorway and its pretty small, even this small I had some trouble placing my 32 player_starts. the bay actually is "random team" <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
the rr is just a wip atm, I left out some details but maybe I will add them later on, like a broken door in the floor where infestation "leaks" out, a small overview map of the mine and even the creepy alien join portal.
moultano: the readyroom is where you adjust your screensettings and stuff so I dont want it to be super bright or even brighter than the map itself. but you are right, I will add some more spotlights so it SEEMS brighter.
shure, I could add details all the day long, optimizing every single bit of this map. but one day you have to stop. you just have to stop or you get mad. this day is not today and it is not tomorrow. but its definitely before I die due to lack of recovery at weekends <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> i'm loosing a great moment because your host doesnt work where am i. could you host only one iamge at image shack i put a link in the troubleshoting link at my topic world polies^^.
awesome work. the ship seems a little dark, alltho im sure u already kno that <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Swiftspear+Apr 13 2005, 02:13 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Swiftspear @ Apr 13 2005, 02:13 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-moultano+Apr 13 2005, 01:36 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (moultano @ Apr 13 2005, 01:36 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Swiftspear+Apr 13 2005, 01:29 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Swiftspear @ Apr 13 2005, 01:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I don't understand... what is happening? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> When the brushes are expanded for the clipping hull generation, acute angles get expanded much further than obtuse angles because of how it expands each side. This causes the brushes to stick out when they are fused into the clipping hulls, and makes little spurs that hinder movement. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> brushes exapand? That's really good to know... Not that it has effected my mapping so far, but it will help to keep that in mind for later. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo--> The BEVEL texture This texture acts like a NULL texture but also doesn't expand when generating clip hulls. It can be used to eliminate exterior corner clipping bugs without using "-cliptype precise" (although "-cliptype precise" is still the recommended method for removing clipping errors, as this feature is experimental).
i found this on the: <a href='http://www.zhlt.info/' target='_blank'>http://www.zhlt.info/</a>
<!--QuoteBegin-carioca+Apr 25 2005, 03:30 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (carioca @ Apr 25 2005, 03:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> This texture acts like a NULL texture but also doesn't expand when generating clip hulls. It can be used to eliminate exterior corner clipping bugs without using "-cliptype precise" (although "-cliptype precise" is still the recommended method for removing clipping errors, as this feature is experimental). <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> never used any null textures. and I tried all the clipping settings to improve compile times for test runs. "precise" is the only one that worked correctly for me <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
however, the leaf error is what makes me angry because its "try and error"-method.
one important hint to anyone trying to map for ns: NEVER EVER try to create a map that features lots of vertex manipulated surfaces in hl1. shure, it looks great but it takes 10x the time to make them work because of clipping and stuck probs. trust me.
btw: its meant to be a pre-final version so there wont be much to change in the future. except for gameplay reasons.
have fun.
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:RED'>YOU WILL HAVE TO DELETE <u>ALL</u> NS_SOURCE_B33 RELATED FILES FIRST IN ORDER TO PLAY B34!</span></span>
Server: Flaggschiffserver der -=NGG=- | www.Nostromo-group.de #ngg 81.169.156.243:27030
changelog:
(general) - added 3 weldable spots - changed rock crusher, vehicle elevator, res extraction and vehicle parking completely - new readyroom - added "instable"-rumble to the map - new mining suit model (tkanks mr. headcrab) - minor texture work - changed background story (need someone to check it though <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
(specific) > vehicle parking - changed architecture - added glas to doors so you can see the back of the vehicle - added elevator shaft (visual bonus for location) - layout less straight
> (new!) pipeline access - connects vehicle parking and surface elevators DIRECTLY - added door to surface elevators
> surface elevators - door from pipeline access near the resnozzle
> vehicle elevator - completely new layout (!!!) - reduced altitude to locations (northern parts of the map)
> energy supply - slight size reduction because of new vehicle elevators - rocks dont look wrong anymore - added "vent" to vehicle elevator - changed textures on energy units to look less grainy and more scifi
> ore melter - added weldable vent to sewer drainage - added clips to prevent block movement probs at the top of the melter
> break trough - new siege position to feature "siegeability" from version b32 - added more infestation
> "the source" (hive) - reworked the hiveroom to get rit of several stuck areas - added vent to "connection 19-a"
> res extraction - completely new layout and design (!!!) - added "working pump"-idea from version b30 - should be more combat friendly now
> the pit - added weldspot to shutdown vent to crew quarters
> rock crusher (prev. "crusher") - completely new layout and design (!!!) - should be less alien friendly to make relocates possible
> service ladders - changed to fit the map - more onos friendly due to removed ladder - removed resnozzle
> east elevator - change to fit the map - added weldable vent to "tram loding bay" (now we know WHAT is loaded onto the trains wink-fix.gif )
> res processing - added resnozzle (had been removed from service ladders) - reduced size of location
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> i will play your map and i will give you some feedback^^ lt gravity you comand console view si too close of the floor if you bring more height like 256 units up will be better, sometiems i get sick at comand chair view, some pipes at pit show up too much close. and near the suits that painel brow with red light have a overlay i dunno whats is you map entitie count at the moment but if you put a overlay in that texture will work better.
the image below show up the overlay texture missing and the miss aling at rr.
the "missing" overlays: its because we do have something called "entity limit" and so I had to assign priorities. maybe the panel doesnt work due to what-do-I-know <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
second one: dont you have better things to do as to detect texture misalignments? <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> *fixed*
know facts: - buildings and structures cant be build on the bridge connecting source hive and source access although its a func_wall. still havent found out what is wrong. - ore melter: the rock surface abouve one entry lets jetpacker "stand" in midair. seems to be a clipping problem. - tram track: dito. - vent cover from connection 19-a to source hive isnt solid rendered
lets continue with the tests... one word to the server: the admin finally meanged to get fastdownload working. however, it works for everybody exept for me. the download should take roughly a minute. if anybody experince the same download time as me (over 5 minutes just for the bsp!!!) please contact me to track down the problem.
"It<b>'</b>s one of those days<b>,</b> I guess..." <span style='color:orange'>1</span> Administrator Walter Sparks walked out of the airlock and pressed the button to activate the elevator that would take him down to the preparation bay. He nearly got mad about the last message from his boss".<span style='color:orange'>2</span> Since two days Walter asked for permission to abort the mining activities within the G4 mining area but his boss didnt want to hear about aborting anything. So there had been no other way than continue the work. Exspecially after this weird things happening after breaking through this ancient door.<span style='color:orange'>3</span> Everbody thought about it as an old ruine of some kind of alienrace. He would have stopped the work but the company didnt care for researching anything.<span style='color:orange'>4</span>
The elevator started moving..<span style='color:orange'>5</span> One more day in this creepy environment..<span style='color:orange'>6</span> Walter loved the mine on other days like he loved all the holes he had been digging into planets and asteroids in the past twelve years. But today it was different. He went down to his control room without even knowing if this was the right decision. He didnt care much for himself but he never ever risked the life of his workers for something stupid. And to continue working in this special mine was PRETTY stupid!.<span style='color:orange'>7</span>
Walter closed his eyes. "Lord, please let us live another, wonderful day." He smiled. How ironic. The resources of the last planet the company ´discovered´ had been completely exhausted... and they left behind a desert of crushed rocks. "Would serve the company right if we were killed down here..." He laughed..<span style='color:orange'>8</span>
The air became hotter, dustier and soon the elevator stopped. Walter stepped out the elevator into the airlock. "Hel how I hate this..." He pressed a button on a panel. The door behind him closed and suddenly the room became completely dark. "What the hell?" Walter took out his communicator. "Guys, would you mind to free the old man from airlock A2?".<span style='color:orange'>9</span> A male voice answered "What? Again? Thought we fixed it yesterday.".<span style='color:orange'>10</span> - "Maybe you tried to fool me again about that, Howards. This is no time for jocking, son." - "Got it." Walter smilled. Even when he got little rough on his men he never ever would think about them in a bad way. They did the hardest job in the whole galaxy. Apart from this frontiermen guys of cause....<span style='color:orange'>11</span>
The light flashed on, after some seconds the doors of the airlock openend as they were suppossed to. Howards stood infront of the outer panel, grinning: "Mornig, sir." - "That how a perfect day starts, right boy?" Walter tapped him on the shoulder. "Keep going. And dont miss the League-Stats. Your shift will end soon so watch this match and note the result. I bet 20 bugs against this Saval morons." Walter took a quick look trough the preparation bay. Two technicians still worked on the dmaged agrua mining vehicle. He waved to an worker. "Hey, Rob! Dont you know that parking in the rock crusher isnt allowed?" The worker turned towards him. "Thats not my fault. We dont even got a collapse warning before entering the area." Walter grinned. "Thats why you are still working here, fear is something we dont need here."- "Thanks sir."
To get himself a cup of coffee was the next important thing that had to be done. Walter went into the cantina near the crew quarters and pressed a button at the nutrition-device. Nothing happened. As usual. "This perfect day again..." he mumbled. Walter turned around just to see a shadow passing by. He stood still. "What the hell..." He walked into the hallway between the cantina and the crew quarters. But he could hear nothing, only the sound of dripping water far away and the humming and scratching sounds of the big surface elevators. ´Must be underground paranoia, I really need some holiday.´ he thought by himself.
-
Walter was in hurry to fetch the last vehicle that would leave the garages at this day but his protection suit wasnt build for running. So he walked down the west-route-ramp as fast as possible. This wasnt routine but sometimes he joined a leaving group just to make himself a picture of what was happening in the mines down there. One of the garage doors was opened, he could see the crew entering the massive vehicle.
"Hey guys is there enough place left for an old, lame man?" Walter shouted to drown the engines of the vehicle out. One of the workers standing near turned around. "Of course we have a seat left for our grandpa!" The other workers laughed. Walter smilled. Thats what he called attitude. This were the finest man he ever meet in his life. All the personal got onboard and two minute later they were rolling.
-
The way was short but it nearly took 5 minutes to get to the G4 mine-access. That was because they had to use this construction called vehicle-elevator. Walter always asked himself how anybody could be this foolish to build such a crappy device. They traveled down about 15 metres just to enter a corridor that was behind them. But the driver managed to maneuver the vehicle like he invented it. The air was dusty and pretty hot when they arrived at the lava lake, even within the vehicle and protected by the mining suits. This was hard stuff, working 6 hours shifts in this oven. When they passed the last security door the air got cooler and suddenly the only thing lighten up the dark were the headlights of the vehicle. "Its a lot more uncomfortable than up there, right sir?" - "Dont tell ME son, I have been working in mines since the day you father met your mother." Laughter.
That was allways a good thing. His men felt safer now he was with them. Damn cooperation, scaring th hell out of the people working here... and for what? For some lousy extra credits. Suddenly all passangers became quiet. Something... felt wrong. The driver stopped the vehicle. "Whats the matter Harold?" Walter was confused. The actual mining area still was minutes ahead. "Sir... dont know how to say that but... the street is missing." Walters first thought was that this guy was going to make a fool out of him. Then walter took a look out of the vehicle. And in front of the vehicle there was... nothing but pure darkness. "Thats why I hate this job sometimes... do we have contact to the 4th crew?" - "Negativ. Communications didnt contacted them because of the interference in the ore fields down there." Walter closed his eyes. This day got even worse. "Hold the car, we will take a closer look." Walter opened the door and climbed out. He switched on his helmet lamp and starred in the dark.
"Sir, we got a signal. Its weak but... it comes from down there." Walters eyes got narrow when he turned around. "Get me the rope, that might be it." - "I dont think this is a good idea." - "And I am thinking that I NEVER ever le my men down. There is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes parts of asteroids collapse due to changing gravity in the inside. Thats a rare phenomenon. Now where is my rope?" The workers opened the backdoor of the vehicle and took some handling winches out. Another one unlocked the steel cable of the vehicle in at the front winch and dragged it out till the end disappeared in the dark. He gave the driver a handsignal. The driver pressed a button and the cable uncoiled. "Depth?" Walter took a look of the cliff carefully. "35 metres, sir. 50 metres. 75 metres. 100 metres. 125 metres. bullseye! we stopped at 136 metres. Thats a pretty deep hole." Walter smilled "Thought you were familiar with deep holes. Ok guys, you know what to do. This is not our first rescue mission. So dont screw this up." The small group started to descent at the cable. The last metres before hitting the ground Walter realized a weak, gentle light. ´Maybe this idea isnt that good.´ After standing on solid rocks again he stepped aside so he wont block his men. The helmet lamp couldnt light more than a small area around his feet. Carefully Walter made a few steps. This weird green light doesnt seemed to light the environment. More likely it looked like a kind of mist in the air. After the group gathered at the foot of the cliff they continued their way. They started dropping permanent torches in regular distance. They were often used in the mines to mark the way in the dark corridors. The place became brighter, lit by the orange torches only. Suddenly one of the workers screamed thorough the voicecom. "Sir, up here!" Walter turned his head. One of his men had climbed up a pile of rubble and waved like mad. "What it, Steve?" - "I found them." Walter felt slightly uncomfortable. Shure we wanted to find his men but he also was afraid to see what happened to them. The group climbed up the to the worker. Walter could make out the remains of vehicle 3 as soon as he could take a look at the plateau where the accident happened. "Good god..." All the wheels were riped of, the body of the vehicle completely deformed. The started to analyse the wreckage. Walter pulled away a piece of metal... and found one of the workers, badly bleeding. "Guys come over here, survivor!" Walter shouted into the voicecom. He bend down to the wounded. He was still alive but seemed to have passed out. "Hey, Bill, what happened?" Walter touched the wounded. Suddenly... there was something moving. It wasnt as Walter could see it but he could feel it. Suddenly Bill opened his eyes, moaning in pain. "Bill, bill, come on! What happened?" - "Aagh... just... *coughcoughcough* ... just take us away from here..." All the workers stood around Walter, watching their comrade suffer. But one was missing. Walters eyesgot narrow "Where is our friend, mr. ´No-Problemo´Prier?" The worker looked around. A scream cut through the silence. And suddenly there was this shadow again. But this time it didnt passed by like a dream. It leaped through the darkness like a nightmare and the last thing Walter noticed was a cracking sound.
- end of transmission -<span style='color:orange'><ol type='1'><li>'It's one of those days' without the comma would imply that it is one of those days when the subject guesses. The comma is needed to show that the 'guessing' is just him reflecting on his thoughts. ---</li><li>Boss is a very informal word, used when workers talk about their 'boss' and not directly to them. If the narrative you're aiming at is to have the narrator come across as friendly and informal then use 'boss'. If you want to sterilise the social atmosphere created by the work environment and particularly between Sparks and his 'boss' then use 'supervisor'. Supervisor would also convey a feeling that Sparks is being watched and is not entirely trusted by his 'boss'.
Also "He nearly got mad" is in the present tense. Are you describing a past action or his present state of mind?
'Got mad' is a very loose term. It can mean anything from "slightly annoyed" to "lost his/her temper" or even "went insane". This sentence would sound better if this were clearer. "lost it" (a shortened version of lost his/her temper) could fit well here, as it's the same number of syllables so it keeps the rhythm of the line. ---</li><li>'Since' -> 'for'
"asked" is a completed action. To show that Sparks was asking repeatedly over two days, use "had been asking"; to show that Sparks had asked more than once over the last few days, use "had asked".
"didnt" -> "didn't"
"mining activities" -> "mining activity". I have no explanation for why we say this in English, but we do it a lot <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
"hear about aborting anything" -> "hear anything about it". If we can avoid repeating a word in English, we usually do. Here "it" replaces "abort". If a word is repeated too many times in a sentence it sounds 'clumsy' to the English speaker.
"than" -> "to"; "Exspecially" -> "Especially"
"this" -> "these". However, I have changed "these" to "the" because of the context. "this", "that", "these" and "those" are used when making a comparison between things. Since you are not comparing the 'weird things' with anything else, we can leave it as "the weird things". Even so, "weird" could be changed to "strange". "strange" is a word that has much more literary power than "weird". "weird" is a word that we use every day, "Strange" is a word reserved for 'strange' occurances. I also changed "this ancient door" to "that ancient door", becuase 'that' can also be used as a word to make an accusation at a subject. In this case, Sparks would accusing "that ancient door" of being involved in starting "the strange things".
The structure of this section should be changed, at the moment it is too fragmented. Try to keep the description of each main element to one sentence, and subdivide each sentence into smaller sections with commas to describe the different parts. eg.: For two days Walter had been asking for permission to abort the mining activity within the G4 mining area but his boss didn't want to hear anything about it. "As such/as a result of this" there had been no other way to continue the work. Especially following the weird things that had begun after breaking through that ancient door. ---</li><li>"Everbody" -> "Everybody"; "ruine" -> "ruin"; "alienrace" -> "alien race"; "didnt" -> "didn't"; "care for" -> "care about" ("care for" is a possibility, but would not be used in the register in which you have chosen to write) ---</li><li>Ending this paragraph with</span> The elevator started moving <span style='color:orange'>is better stylistically, as it separates fact from opinion. One paragraph is about what the company is doing in the mine, the other is about what Sparks thinks about the mine. ---</li><li>This could be different depending on what you want to say, but as it stands it’s ambiguous. Changed to “Just one more day in this creepy environment” would imply that he is expecting this to be his last (which I doubt is the intended meaning). “Just another day in this creepy environment” would imply that he is used to the creepiness, but also conveys a particular distaste for the experience. Finally (and what I think you may have been getting at), “Yet another day in this creepy environment” lets us know that he hates every moment spent here, but also that the experience has become tedious through its repetition.
To add to this, the word ‘environment’ lacks punch. You could use a word that is also imbued with the character’s emotional state or traits. If Sparks really hated the place, he might call it a ‘hellhole’ (but not a ‘creepy’ hellhole – creepy is what girls might say when they’re afraid! – I feel that Sparks might go for a stronger tone). See thesaurus.com for some examples, but bear in mind that a lot of them are not straight synonyms. A lot have a very particular meaning, so you should check this with the dictionary.com tab. </li><li></span>On another day Sparks would have loved the mine just like every other hole he’d dug into every other planet and asteroid in the last <u>twelve</u> years. <span style='color:orange'>In literature numbers are always written in full, never in digit form.
</span>But today it was different; he went down to his control room not knowing whether <u>they’d/he’d</u> made the right decision. <span style='color:orange'>is it his choice or the company’s?</span> He didn’t care much about his own safety, but he would never risk the life of his workers on something stupid, and to continue working in a mine of its its/type was pretty stupid <span style='color:orange'>‘would never risk’: this phrase should be in the subjunctive because it is very unlikely to happen and is based upon his will that it never takes place. A very natural way of saying ‘something stupid’ in this context is the word ‘whim’. This might fit in the context so I suggest you look it up and make that decision yourself. However, in this case you would have to rephrase the following line to something like “and to continue working in a mine of its/this type was whimsical beyond belief” – which doesn’t have as much punch in my opinion. ---</li><li></span>Walter closed his eyes. Lord, please let us live another, wonderful day. He smiled. How ironic! The resources of the last planet the company ´discovered´ had been completely exhausted... and they left behind a desert of crushed rocks. “It would serve the company right if we were killed down here!” He laughed. <span style='color:orange'>The more natural abbreviation would be: “It’d”. I took out the suspension points after ‘down here’ and replace them with an exclamation mark. ---</li><li></span>The air became hotter, dustier and soon the elevator stopped. Walter stepped out the elevator into the airlock. "Hel<b>l</b> how I hate this..." He pressed a button on a panel. The door behind him closed and suddenly the room became completely dark. "What the hell?" Walter took out his communicator. "Guys, would you mind to free the old man from airlock A2?" <span style='color:orange'>‘to free’ is a direct translation from German, I suspect. In German, as in many other European languages, the infinitive is used in such a construction. However, in English the infinitive ‘to free’ is not used and instead the present participle, ‘freeing’ is used. In other types of constructions where the infinitive is perfectly acceptable, the present participle is more often used as it has found preference as a more colloquial term, probably because of its more fluid pronunciation. This can be seen earlier in your essay where you’ve written </span>The elevator started moving<span style='color:orange'>. This is more colloquial and suits the register in which you’re writing. If you were writing more formally, you would put “The elevator started to move”. ---</li><li></span>A male voice answered "What? Again? Thought we fixed it yesterday.” - "Maybe you tried to fool me again about that, Howards. This is no time for <b>joking</b>, son." <span style='color:orange'>Firstly, a point about the punctuation of active speech: the format is always to open speech marks, insert the speech, close the speech marks and finally finish either with a full stop, or a comma and continue with the origin of the speech. For example: <span style='color:green'>“ns_source is the pwn”, exclaimed the NS community in unison.</span>
Secondly this sentence is quite a tricky one to translate, as we have a very particular way of phrasing it. In fact there are two methods: “If you’re having me on again, Walters, I can tell you that now is not the time for fooling around” and “Nice try, Walters, but this isn’t the time for practical jokes”. The part after </span>,Walters,<span style='color:orange'> is interchangeable, so its your choice which one to use, but before that point they have slightly different meanings. For instance, the first wording tells us implicitly that Walters has done this sort of thing before, and might be how a more straight-laced and serious leader would talk to his men. The second is on a more friendly basis, being the more colloquial form, but </span>Nice try<span style='color:orange'> shows us that by now Sparks is used to Walters pranks as he sees it as another attempt to fool him.
</span>"Got it." Walter <b>smiled</b>. Even when he got <b>a</b> little rough on his men he would never ever think badly of them. <span style='color:orange'>The phrase ‘to think about’ means to be fixated on something or someone, whereas to ‘think of’ is used to give opinions on something or someone. E.g. ‘What did you think of the film?’ vs. ‘What do you think about the elections on May the 5th?’. The first is asking for a reaction to an experience, namely the film. The second asks the listener to give a more reasoned response and to spend more time thinking the matter over. ---</li><li></span>They did the hardest job in the whole galaxy. Apart from <b>these</b> frontier<b>s</b>men guys of <b>course</b>... <span style='color:orange'>“cause” means the origin of an action, “course” means ‘direction’. The phrase “of course” literally means that something has a fixed course, or will always be facing the same direction. In context it means ‘certainly’ or ‘without doubt’. If something is ‘of [a fixed] course’ it means it is unlikely to change, and therefore should receive an unsurprised response from someone.</li></ol></span>
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> "Exspecially" -> "Especially" <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> this is a miss typing because the 'x' and 's' are too much close in the keyboard. i really would like see how much you will take and how much pages you will cover with this one here the last paragraph: <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> So dont screw this up." The small group started to descent at the cable. The last metres before hitting the ground Walter realized a weak, gentle light. ´Maybe this idea isnt that good.´ After standing on solid rocks again he stepped aside so he wont block his men. The helmet lamp couldnt light more than a small area around his feet. Carefully Walter made a few steps. This weird green light doesnt seemed to light the environment. More likely it looked like a kind of mist in the air. After the group gathered at the foot of the cliff they continued their way. They started dropping permanent torches in regular distance. They were often used in the mines to mark the way in the dark corridors. The place became brighter, lit by the orange torches only. Suddenly one of the workers screamed thorough the voicecom. "Sir, up here!" Walter turned his head. One of his men had climbed up a pile of rubble and waved like mad. "What it, Steve?" - "I found them." Walter felt slightly uncomfortable. Shure we wanted to find his men but he also was afraid to see what happened to them. The group climbed up the to the worker. Walter could make out the remains of vehicle 3 as soon as he could take a look at the plateau where the accident happened. "Good god..." All the wheels were riped of, the body of the vehicle completely deformed. The started to analyse the wreckage. Walter pulled away a piece of metal... and found one of the workers, badly bleeding. "Guys come over here, survivor!" Walter shouted into the voicecom. He bend down to the wounded. He was still alive but seemed to have passed out. "Hey, Bill, what happened?" Walter touched the wounded. Suddenly... there was something moving. It wasnt as Walter could see it but he could feel it. Suddenly Bill opened his eyes, moaning in pain. "Bill, bill, come on! What happened?" - "Aagh... just... *coughcoughcough* ... just take us away from here..." All the workers stood around Walter, watching their comrade suffer. But one was missing. Walters eyesgot narrow "Where is our friend, mr. ´No-Problemo´Prier?" The worker looked around. A scream cut through the silence. And suddenly there was this shadow again. But this time it didnt passed by like a dream. It leaped through the darkness like a nightmare and the last thing Walter noticed was a cracking sound. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
- The pipes below the button in <b>Surface Elevators</b> don't have a texure on the sides. It looks kinda weird to me but it won't be that noticable in-game.
- The lift in <b>Surface Elevators</b> is quite thin and lacks anything strong that might connect it to the vertical and support heavy loads.
- Stuck issue in <b>Energy: -Supply</b>. Stand between the two energy sources, approach the resource node. Pass the node on the left side and move up the diagonal on the rock surface. Keep moving up a=until you fall off and get stuck :/
- Random shudder effect is very cool, I didn't notice it the last time I played it.
- Res extraction: très cool!
Looking forward to playing it on NGG server <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
There's a couple gross stuck issues I found, nothing major though.
Ran all around this map looking for good jumps, it's interesting, but there really isn't much oppertunity for hops <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->.
Hopefully it plays well at least <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-carioca+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (carioca)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->this is a miss typing because the 'x' and 's' are too much close in the keyboard. i really would like see how much you will take and how much pages you will cover with this one here the last paragraph:<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> no, its no typo Im just too...
your statement made me laugh. yes, Im interested how this part will look like in crispies explanation, too. It only took about 20 minutes to write it down so its pretty "bugged".
<!--QuoteBegin-crispy+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (crispy)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The pipes below the button in Surface Elevators don't have a texure on the sides. It looks kinda weird to me but it won't be that noticable in-game.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> and the button at east elevator doesnt even have a texture under it, just an {invisible brush that disappears cause of the solid render. both will be fixed.
<!--QuoteBegin-swiftspear+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (swiftspear)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->here's a couple gross stuck issues I found, nothing major though.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> examples please. I spend some day on fixing tons of this problems. I know, angled brushes are the engines worst nightmare, <b>ESpecially</b> (<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->) if you play a mod called Natural-Selection. but I try to improve the freedom of movement. so every single hint may improve this map <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Lt Gravity+Apr 28 2005, 08:32 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Lt Gravity @ Apr 28 2005, 08:32 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-swiftspear+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (swiftspear)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->here's a couple gross stuck issues I found, nothing major though.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> examples please. I spend some day on fixing tons of this problems. I know, angled brushes are the engines worst nightmare, <b>ESpecially</b> (<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->) if you play a mod called Natural-Selection. but I try to improve the freedom of movement. so every single hint may improve this map <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I think someone already beat me too the commenting on the ones I found. I SS some, I'll go and see if I can get them up tommorrow.
so about some criticism? I can take it (maybe) <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
thoughts after playing source the last time: - will have to add a weldable that pumps out the water in "mine G3 access" to give the marines the advantage of dropping/building something. sounds like a good idea, doesnt it? - personally I really like "the source hive" now. looks more alien and the gameplay isnt as bad as in b33. - relocates into the "ore melter hive" are a pretty bad idea - also relocates to "rock crusher" seem to have only few tactical advantages. your way to the "ore melter" and "source" is shorter but you only have 1 restower near you - onos do well in this map - sensory chamber as well
its you turn now <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> dont touch the water is so sexy in way it was. the map is finish doesnt touch send to dev and pt lets play it. time to paly come and alpha this maybe some overlays could be nice at computer scrreens near the smelter generator green controls.
[pimp and a hijack]Oh and I have myself also just finished a short passage introducing Citadel Utopia, which will be posted on the site after some team feedback[/two bits]
<!--QuoteBegin-Swiftspear+May 2 2005, 04:22 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Swiftspear @ May 2 2005, 04:22 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Needs more entities, and maby some extra clip nodes... Then we're good. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> more entities? WHAT entities? keep in mind that we already surfing at the limits. clipnotes: 1/4 of the brush count are clipbrushes. I admit that there are some more needed to get rit of the few stuck and block areas.
I really can't fault the brushwork (except for stuck issue which I mentioned previously), texture allignment or lighting. Gameplay issues and hard-to-find stuck points, etc. can only be found by playing this map a good few times, something I haven't had the pleasure of doing.
<!--QuoteBegin-Lt Gravity+May 21 2005, 05:32 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Lt Gravity @ May 21 2005, 05:32 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> - sentries and offense chamber are able to detect and shoot at players trough closed doors
dunno whats the problem here. near the ms and near the compression hive its a big problem though.
and I would be grateful for more constructive criticism. all I got were some vague statements. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> In terms of looks this map is as good as any I have ever seen. In terms of runthrough bugs and issues, I really couldn't find many. In terms of gameplay I really wouldn't know... the only server I know that runs this map is too laggy for me to seriously consider playing on.
<!--QuoteBegin-Swiftspear+May 21 2005, 10:22 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Swiftspear @ May 21 2005, 10:22 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> In terms of looks this map is as good as any I have ever seen. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> do you want to insult me? please choose your words more wisely next time.
Server: Flaggschiff der -=NGG=- /NS only/www.nostromo-group.de #ngg IP: 81.169.156.243:27030
Comments
I ran into some trouble with the source hive. the angled brushes dont let the player pass in a decent way and it gets reallyannoying when oyu wlak up the wall just because you hit the edge of a face. have to work on that. tomorrow. or... dunno.
thanks to mr headcrap we have a COMPLETELY new mining suit, very nice work.
however, here is something for your eyes.
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_rr1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_rr2.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
good night.
i try wiht firefox and opera but dindt work, i dont see nothing just a broke image.
<a href='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_rr2.jpg' target='_blank'>http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_rr2.jpg</a>
and if it doesnt work either you dont have to be sad. you will have this map in hands in the next 7 days. just have to fix the source-hive problem.
I'd add more spotlights personally. For some reason I always picture docking bays as having angled spotlights going everywhere and being eye bleedingly bright.
and Im pretty shure you guys want to kill me:
because you WONT be able to walk through that landing bay!!! (!!!)
thats why it doesnt matter if I add some more detail to the rock surface because the whole room is "clipnoted". the real rr is the part where you can see the green font in the doorway and its pretty small, even this small I had some trouble placing my 32 player_starts. the bay actually is "random team" <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
the rr is just a wip atm, I left out some details but maybe I will add them later on, like a broken door in the floor where infestation "leaks" out, a small overview map of the mine and even the creepy alien join portal.
moultano: the readyroom is where you adjust your screensettings and stuff so I dont want it to be super bright or even brighter than the map itself. but you are right, I will add some more spotlights so it SEEMS brighter.
shure, I could add details all the day long, optimizing every single bit of this map. but one day you have to stop. you just have to stop or you get mad. this day is not today and it is not tomorrow. but its definitely before I die due to lack of recovery at weekends <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
i'm loosing a great moment because your host doesnt work where am i.
could you host only one iamge at image shack i put a link in the troubleshoting link at my topic world polies^^.
When the brushes are expanded for the clipping hull generation, acute angles get expanded much further than obtuse angles because of how it expands each side. This causes the brushes to stick out when they are fused into the clipping hulls, and makes little spurs that hinder movement. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
brushes exapand? That's really good to know... Not that it has effected my mapping so far, but it will help to keep that in mind for later. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
The BEVEL texture
This texture acts like a NULL texture but also doesn't expand when generating clip hulls. It can be used to eliminate exterior corner clipping bugs without using "-cliptype precise" (although "-cliptype precise" is still the recommended method for removing clipping errors, as this feature is experimental).
i found this on the:
<a href='http://www.zhlt.info/' target='_blank'>http://www.zhlt.info/</a>
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
never used any null textures.
and I tried all the clipping settings to improve compile times for test runs. "precise" is the only one that worked correctly for me <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
however, the leaf error is what makes me angry because its "try and error"-method.
one important hint to anyone trying to map for ns: NEVER EVER try to create a map that features lots of vertex manipulated surfaces in hl1. shure, it looks great but it takes 10x the time to make them work because of clipping and stuck probs. trust me.
I wont do it again either.
it works...
it looks good...
now lets check how it plays
btw: its meant to be a pre-final version so there wont be much to change in the future. except for gameplay reasons.
have fun.
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:RED'>YOU WILL HAVE TO DELETE <u>ALL</u> NS_SOURCE_B33 RELATED FILES FIRST IN ORDER TO PLAY B34!</span></span>
------------
April 27 2005
------------
<a href='http://www.nostromo-group.de/_Custom_Maps/ns_source_b34.zip' target='_blank'>download ns_source_b34</a>
overview:
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/ns_source_b34_overview.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
ingame impressions:
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_rr1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/ms_b33.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/oremelter_b33.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/b34_sourcehive1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<img src='http://mitglied.lycos.de/centercross/ns_source/crusher2_b34.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
Server:
Flaggschiffserver der -=NGG=- | www.Nostromo-group.de #ngg 81.169.156.243:27030
changelog:
(general)
- added 3 weldable spots
- changed rock crusher, vehicle elevator, res extraction and vehicle parking completely
- new readyroom
- added "instable"-rumble to the map
- new mining suit model (tkanks mr. headcrab)
- minor texture work
- changed background story (need someone to check it though <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
(specific)
> vehicle parking
- changed architecture
- added glas to doors so you can see the back of the vehicle
- added elevator shaft (visual bonus for location)
- layout less straight
> (new!) pipeline access
- connects vehicle parking and surface elevators DIRECTLY
- added door to surface elevators
> surface elevators
- door from pipeline access near the resnozzle
> vehicle elevator
- completely new layout (!!!)
- reduced altitude to locations (northern parts of the map)
> energy supply
- slight size reduction because of new vehicle elevators
- rocks dont look wrong anymore
- added "vent" to vehicle elevator
- changed textures on energy units to look less grainy and more scifi
> ore melter
- added weldable vent to sewer drainage
- added clips to prevent block movement probs at the top of the melter
> break trough
- new siege position to feature "siegeability" from version b32
- added more infestation
> "the source" (hive)
- reworked the hiveroom to get rit of several stuck areas
- added vent to "connection 19-a"
> res extraction
- completely new layout and design (!!!)
- added "working pump"-idea from version b30
- should be more combat friendly now
> the pit
- added weldspot to shutdown vent to crew quarters
> rock crusher (prev. "crusher")
- completely new layout and design (!!!)
- should be less alien friendly to make relocates possible
> service ladders
- changed to fit the map
- more onos friendly due to removed ladder
- removed resnozzle
> east elevator
- change to fit the map
- added weldable vent to "tram loding bay" (now we know WHAT is loaded onto the trains wink-fix.gif )
> res processing
- added resnozzle (had been removed from service ladders)
- reduced size of location
i will play your map and i will give you some feedback^^
lt gravity you comand console view si too close of the floor if you bring more height like 256 units up will be better, sometiems i get sick at comand chair view, some pipes at pit show up too much close.
and near the suits that painel brow with red light have a overlay i dunno whats is you map entitie count at the moment but if you put a overlay in that texture will work better.
the image below show up the overlay texture missing and the miss aling at rr.
second one: dont you have better things to do as to detect texture misalignments? <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
*fixed*
know facts:
- buildings and structures cant be build on the bridge connecting source hive and source access although its a func_wall. still havent found out what is wrong.
- ore melter: the rock surface abouve one entry lets jetpacker "stand" in midair. seems to be a clipping problem.
- tram track: dito.
- vent cover from connection 19-a to source hive isnt solid rendered
lets continue with the tests...
one word to the server: the admin finally meanged to get fastdownload working. however, it works for everybody exept for me. the download should take roughly a minute. if anybody experince the same download time as me (over 5 minutes just for the bsp!!!) please contact me to track down the problem.
ns_source: broken seals
agrua mining facility, asteroid nr.233-a-004, 7:23AM, underground temperature: 33°C
"It<b>'</b>s one of those days<b>,</b> I guess..." <span style='color:orange'>1</span>
Administrator Walter Sparks walked out of the airlock and pressed the button to activate the elevator that would take him down to the preparation bay. He nearly got mad about the last message from his boss".<span style='color:orange'>2</span> Since two days Walter asked for permission to abort the mining activities within the G4 mining area but his boss didnt want to hear about aborting anything. So there had been no other way than continue the work. Exspecially after this weird things happening after breaking through this ancient door.<span style='color:orange'>3</span> Everbody thought about it as an old ruine of some kind of alienrace. He would have stopped the work but the company didnt care for researching anything.<span style='color:orange'>4</span>
The elevator started moving..<span style='color:orange'>5</span> One more day in this creepy environment..<span style='color:orange'>6</span> Walter loved the mine on other days like he loved all the holes he had been digging into planets and asteroids in the past twelve years. But today it was different. He went down to his control room without even knowing if this was the right decision. He didnt care much for himself but he never ever risked the life of his workers for something stupid. And to continue working in this special mine was PRETTY stupid!.<span style='color:orange'>7</span>
Walter closed his eyes. "Lord, please let us live another, wonderful day." He smiled. How ironic. The resources of the last planet the company ´discovered´ had been completely exhausted... and they left behind a desert of crushed rocks. "Would serve the company right if we were killed down here..." He laughed..<span style='color:orange'>8</span>
The air became hotter, dustier and soon the elevator stopped. Walter stepped out the elevator into the airlock. "Hel how I hate this..." He pressed a button on a panel. The door behind him closed and suddenly the room became completely dark. "What the hell?" Walter took out his communicator. "Guys, would you mind to free the old man from airlock A2?".<span style='color:orange'>9</span> A male voice answered "What? Again? Thought we fixed it yesterday.".<span style='color:orange'>10</span> - "Maybe you tried to fool me again about that, Howards. This is no time for jocking, son." - "Got it." Walter smilled. Even when he got little rough on his men he never ever would think about them in a bad way. They did the hardest job in the whole galaxy. Apart from this frontiermen guys of cause....<span style='color:orange'>11</span>
The light flashed on, after some seconds the doors of the airlock openend as they were suppossed to. Howards stood infront of the outer panel, grinning: "Mornig, sir." - "That how a perfect day starts, right boy?" Walter tapped him on the shoulder. "Keep going. And dont miss the League-Stats. Your shift will end soon so watch this match and note the result. I bet 20 bugs against this Saval morons." Walter took a quick look trough the preparation bay. Two technicians still worked on the dmaged agrua mining vehicle. He waved to an worker. "Hey, Rob! Dont you know that parking in the rock crusher isnt allowed?" The worker turned towards him. "Thats not my fault. We dont even got a collapse warning before entering the area." Walter grinned. "Thats why you are still working here, fear is something we dont need here."- "Thanks sir."
To get himself a cup of coffee was the next important thing that had to be done. Walter went into the cantina near the crew quarters and pressed a button at the nutrition-device. Nothing happened. As usual. "This perfect day again..." he mumbled. Walter turned around just to see a shadow passing by. He stood still. "What the hell..." He walked into the hallway between the cantina and the crew quarters. But he could hear nothing, only the sound of dripping water far away and the humming and scratching sounds of the big surface elevators. ´Must be underground paranoia, I really need some holiday.´ he thought by himself.
-
Walter was in hurry to fetch the last vehicle that would leave the garages at this day but his protection suit wasnt build for running. So he walked down the west-route-ramp as fast as possible. This wasnt routine but sometimes he joined a leaving group just to make himself a picture of what was happening in the mines down there. One of the garage doors was opened, he could see the crew entering the massive vehicle.
"Hey guys is there enough place left for an old, lame man?" Walter shouted to drown the engines of the vehicle out. One of the workers standing near turned around. "Of course we have a seat left for our grandpa!" The other workers laughed. Walter smilled. Thats what he called attitude. This were the finest man he ever meet in his life. All the personal got onboard and two minute later they were rolling.
-
The way was short but it nearly took 5 minutes to get to the G4 mine-access. That was because they had to use this construction called vehicle-elevator. Walter always asked himself how anybody could be this foolish to build such a crappy device. They traveled down about 15 metres just to enter a corridor that was behind them. But the driver managed to maneuver the vehicle like he invented it. The air was dusty and pretty hot when they arrived at the lava lake, even within the vehicle and protected by the mining suits. This was hard stuff, working 6 hours shifts in this oven. When they passed the last security door the air got cooler and suddenly the only thing lighten up the dark were the headlights of the vehicle. "Its a lot more uncomfortable than up there, right sir?" - "Dont tell ME son, I have been working in mines since the day you father met your mother." Laughter.
That was allways a good thing. His men felt safer now he was with them. Damn cooperation, scaring th hell out of the people working here... and for what? For some lousy extra credits. Suddenly all passangers became quiet. Something... felt wrong. The driver stopped the vehicle. "Whats the matter Harold?" Walter was confused. The actual mining area still was minutes ahead. "Sir... dont know how to say that but... the street is missing." Walters first thought was that this guy was going to make a fool out of him. Then walter took a look out of the vehicle. And in front of the vehicle there was... nothing but pure darkness. "Thats why I hate this job sometimes... do we have contact to the 4th crew?" - "Negativ. Communications didnt contacted them because of the interference in the ore fields down there." Walter closed his eyes. This day got even worse. "Hold the car, we will take a closer look." Walter opened the door and climbed out. He switched on his helmet lamp and starred in the dark.
"Sir, we got a signal. Its weak but... it comes from down there." Walters eyes got narrow when he turned around. "Get me the rope, that might be it." - "I dont think this is a good idea." - "And I am thinking that I NEVER ever le my men down. There is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes parts of asteroids collapse due to changing gravity in the inside. Thats a rare phenomenon. Now where is my rope?" The workers opened the backdoor of the vehicle and took some handling winches out. Another one unlocked the steel cable of the vehicle in at the front winch and dragged it out till the end disappeared in the dark. He gave the driver a handsignal. The driver pressed a button and the cable uncoiled. "Depth?" Walter took a look of the cliff carefully. "35 metres, sir. 50 metres. 75 metres. 100 metres. 125 metres. bullseye! we stopped at 136 metres. Thats a pretty deep hole." Walter smilled "Thought you were familiar with deep holes. Ok guys, you know what to do. This is not our first rescue mission.
So dont screw this up." The small group started to descent at the cable. The last metres before hitting the ground Walter realized a weak, gentle light. ´Maybe this idea isnt that good.´ After standing on solid rocks again he stepped aside so he wont block his men. The helmet lamp couldnt light more than a small area around his feet. Carefully Walter made a few steps. This weird green light doesnt seemed to light the environment. More likely it looked like a kind of mist in the air. After the group gathered at the foot of the cliff they continued their way. They started dropping permanent torches in regular distance. They were often used in the mines to mark the way in the dark corridors. The place became brighter, lit by the orange torches only. Suddenly one of the workers screamed thorough the voicecom. "Sir, up here!" Walter turned his head. One of his men had climbed up a pile of rubble and waved like mad. "What it, Steve?" - "I found them." Walter felt slightly uncomfortable. Shure we wanted to find his men but he also was afraid to see what happened to them. The group climbed up the to the worker. Walter could make out the remains of vehicle 3 as soon as he could take a look at the plateau where the accident happened. "Good god..." All the wheels were riped of, the body of the vehicle completely deformed. The started to analyse the wreckage. Walter pulled away a piece of metal... and found one of the workers, badly bleeding. "Guys come over here, survivor!" Walter shouted into the voicecom. He bend down to the wounded. He was still alive but seemed to have passed out. "Hey, Bill, what happened?" Walter touched the wounded. Suddenly... there was something moving. It wasnt as Walter could see it but he could feel it. Suddenly Bill opened his eyes, moaning in pain. "Bill, bill, come on! What happened?" - "Aagh... just... *coughcoughcough* ... just take us away from here..." All the workers stood around Walter, watching their comrade suffer. But one was missing. Walters eyesgot narrow "Where is our friend, mr. ´No-Problemo´Prier?" The worker looked around. A scream cut through the silence. And suddenly there was this shadow again. But this time it didnt passed by like a dream. It leaped through the darkness like a nightmare and the last thing Walter noticed was a cracking sound.
- end of transmission -<span style='color:orange'><ol type='1'><li>'It's one of those days' without the comma would imply that it is one of those days when the subject guesses. The comma is needed to show that the 'guessing' is just him reflecting on his thoughts.
---</li><li>Boss is a very informal word, used when workers talk about their 'boss' and not directly to them. If the narrative you're aiming at is to have the narrator come across as friendly and informal then use 'boss'. If you want to sterilise the social atmosphere created by the work environment and particularly between Sparks and his 'boss' then use 'supervisor'. Supervisor would also convey a feeling that Sparks is being watched and is not entirely trusted by his 'boss'.
Also "He nearly got mad" is in the present tense. Are you describing a past action or his present state of mind?
'Got mad' is a very loose term. It can mean anything from "slightly annoyed" to "lost his/her temper" or even "went insane". This sentence would sound better if this were clearer. "lost it" (a shortened version of lost his/her temper) could fit well here, as it's the same number of syllables so it keeps the rhythm of the line.
---</li><li>'Since' -> 'for'
"asked" is a completed action. To show that Sparks was asking repeatedly over two days, use "had been asking"; to show that Sparks had asked more than once over the last few days, use "had asked".
"didnt" -> "didn't"
"mining activities" -> "mining activity". I have no explanation for why we say this in English, but we do it a lot <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
"hear about aborting anything" -> "hear anything about it". If we can avoid repeating a word in English, we usually do. Here "it" replaces "abort". If a word is repeated too many times in a sentence it sounds 'clumsy' to the English speaker.
"than" -> "to"; "Exspecially" -> "Especially"
"this" -> "these". However, I have changed "these" to "the" because of the context. "this", "that", "these" and "those" are used when making a comparison between things. Since you are not comparing the 'weird things' with anything else, we can leave it as "the weird things".
Even so, "weird" could be changed to "strange". "strange" is a word that has much more literary power than "weird". "weird" is a word that we use every day, "Strange" is a word reserved for 'strange' occurances.
I also changed "this ancient door" to "that ancient door", becuase 'that' can also be used as a word to make an accusation at a subject. In this case, Sparks would accusing "that ancient door" of being involved in starting "the strange things".
The structure of this section should be changed, at the moment it is too fragmented. Try to keep the description of each main element to one sentence, and subdivide each sentence into smaller sections with commas to describe the different parts.
eg.: For two days Walter had been asking for permission to abort the mining activity within the G4 mining area but his boss didn't want to hear anything about it. "As such/as a result of this" there had been no other way to continue the work. Especially following the weird things that had begun after breaking through that ancient door.
---</li><li>"Everbody" -> "Everybody"; "ruine" -> "ruin"; "alienrace" -> "alien race"; "didnt" -> "didn't"; "care for" -> "care about" ("care for" is a possibility, but would not be used in the register in which you have chosen to write)
---</li><li>Ending this paragraph with</span> The elevator started moving <span style='color:orange'>is better stylistically, as it separates fact from opinion. One paragraph is about what the company is doing in the mine, the other is about what Sparks thinks about the mine.
---</li><li>This could be different depending on what you want to say, but as it stands it’s ambiguous. Changed to “Just one more day in this creepy environment” would imply that he is expecting this to be his last (which I doubt is the intended meaning). “Just another day in this creepy environment” would imply that he is used to the creepiness, but also conveys a particular distaste for the experience. Finally (and what I think you may have been getting at), “Yet another day in this creepy environment” lets us know that he hates every moment spent here, but also that the experience has become tedious through its repetition.
To add to this, the word ‘environment’ lacks punch. You could use a word that is also imbued with the character’s emotional state or traits. If Sparks really hated the place, he might call it a ‘hellhole’ (but not a ‘creepy’ hellhole – creepy is what girls might say when they’re afraid! – I feel that Sparks might go for a stronger tone). See thesaurus.com for some examples, but bear in mind that a lot of them are not straight synonyms. A lot have a very particular meaning, so you should check this with the dictionary.com tab.
</li><li></span>On another day Sparks would have loved the mine just like every other hole he’d dug into every other planet and asteroid in the last <u>twelve</u> years. <span style='color:orange'>In literature numbers are always written in full, never in digit form.
</span>But today it was different; he went down to his control room not knowing whether <u>they’d/he’d</u> made the right decision. <span style='color:orange'>is it his choice or the company’s?</span> He didn’t care much about his own safety, but he would never risk the life of his workers on something stupid, and to continue working in a mine of its its/type was pretty stupid <span style='color:orange'>‘would never risk’: this phrase should be in the subjunctive because it is very unlikely to happen and is based upon his will that it never takes place. A very natural way of saying ‘something stupid’ in this context is the word ‘whim’. This might fit in the context so I suggest you look it up and make that decision yourself. However, in this case you would have to rephrase the following line to something like “and to continue working in a mine of its/this type was whimsical beyond belief” – which doesn’t have as much punch in my opinion.
---</li><li></span>Walter closed his eyes. Lord, please let us live another, wonderful day. He smiled. How ironic! The resources of the last planet the company ´discovered´ had been completely exhausted... and they left behind a desert of crushed rocks. “It would serve the company right if we were killed down here!” He laughed. <span style='color:orange'>The more natural abbreviation would be: “It’d”. I took out the suspension points after ‘down here’ and replace them with an exclamation mark.
---</li><li></span>The air became hotter, dustier and soon the elevator stopped. Walter stepped out the elevator into the airlock. "Hel<b>l</b> how I hate this..." He pressed a button on a panel. The door behind him closed and suddenly the room became completely dark. "What the hell?" Walter took out his communicator. "Guys, would you mind to free the old man from airlock A2?" <span style='color:orange'>‘to free’ is a direct translation from German, I suspect. In German, as in many other European languages, the infinitive is used in such a construction. However, in English the infinitive ‘to free’ is not used and instead the present participle, ‘freeing’ is used. In other types of constructions where the infinitive is perfectly acceptable, the present participle is more often used as it has found preference as a more colloquial term, probably because of its more fluid pronunciation. This can be seen earlier in your essay where you’ve written </span>The elevator started moving<span style='color:orange'>. This is more colloquial and suits the register in which you’re writing. If you were writing more formally, you would put “The elevator started to move”.
---</li><li></span>A male voice answered "What? Again? Thought we fixed it yesterday.” - "Maybe you tried to fool me again about that, Howards. This is no time for <b>joking</b>, son." <span style='color:orange'>Firstly, a point about the punctuation of active speech: the format is always to open speech marks, insert the speech, close the speech marks and finally finish either with a full stop, or a comma and continue with the origin of the speech. For example: <span style='color:green'>“ns_source is the pwn”, exclaimed the NS community in unison.</span>
Secondly this sentence is quite a tricky one to translate, as we have a very particular way of phrasing it. In fact there are two methods: “If you’re having me on again, Walters, I can tell you that now is not the time for fooling around” and “Nice try, Walters, but this isn’t the time for practical jokes”. The part after </span>,Walters,<span style='color:orange'> is interchangeable, so its your choice which one to use, but before that point they have slightly different meanings. For instance, the first wording tells us implicitly that Walters has done this sort of thing before, and might be how a more straight-laced and serious leader would talk to his men. The second is on a more friendly basis, being the more colloquial form, but </span>Nice try<span style='color:orange'> shows us that by now Sparks is used to Walters pranks as he sees it as another attempt to fool him.
</span>"Got it." Walter <b>smiled</b>. Even when he got <b>a</b> little rough on his men he would never ever think badly of them. <span style='color:orange'>The phrase ‘to think about’ means to be fixated on something or someone, whereas to ‘think of’ is used to give opinions on something or someone. E.g. ‘What did you think of the film?’ vs. ‘What do you think about the elections on May the 5th?’. The first is asking for a reaction to an experience, namely the film. The second asks the listener to give a more reasoned response and to spend more time thinking the matter over.
---</li><li></span>They did the hardest job in the whole galaxy. Apart from <b>these</b> frontier<b>s</b>men guys of <b>course</b>... <span style='color:orange'>“cause” means the origin of an action, “course” means ‘direction’. The phrase “of course” literally means that something has a fixed course, or will always be facing the same direction. In context it means ‘certainly’ or ‘without doubt’. If something is ‘of [a fixed] course’ it means it is unlikely to change, and therefore should receive an unsurprised response from someone.</li></ol></span>
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
"Exspecially" -> "Especially"
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
this is a miss typing because the 'x' and 's' are too much close in the keyboard.
i really would like see how much you will take and how much pages you will cover with this one here the last paragraph:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
So dont screw this up." The small group started to descent at the cable. The last metres before hitting the ground Walter realized a weak, gentle light. ´Maybe this idea isnt that good.´ After standing on solid rocks again he stepped aside so he wont block his men. The helmet lamp couldnt light more than a small area around his feet. Carefully Walter made a few steps. This weird green light doesnt seemed to light the environment. More likely it looked like a kind of mist in the air. After the group gathered at the foot of the cliff they continued their way. They started dropping permanent torches in regular distance. They were often used in the mines to mark the way in the dark corridors. The place became brighter, lit by the orange torches only. Suddenly one of the workers screamed thorough the voicecom. "Sir, up here!" Walter turned his head. One of his men had climbed up a pile of rubble and waved like mad. "What it, Steve?" - "I found them." Walter felt slightly uncomfortable. Shure we wanted to find his men but he also was afraid to see what happened to them. The group climbed up the to the worker. Walter could make out the remains of vehicle 3 as soon as he could take a look at the plateau where the accident happened. "Good god..." All the wheels were riped of, the body of the vehicle completely deformed. The started to analyse the wreckage. Walter pulled away a piece of metal... and found one of the workers, badly bleeding. "Guys come over here, survivor!" Walter shouted into the voicecom. He bend down to the wounded. He was still alive but seemed to have passed out. "Hey, Bill, what happened?" Walter touched the wounded. Suddenly... there was something moving. It wasnt as Walter could see it but he could feel it. Suddenly Bill opened his eyes, moaning in pain. "Bill, bill, come on! What happened?" - "Aagh... just... *coughcoughcough* ... just take us away from here..." All the workers stood around Walter, watching their comrade suffer. But one was missing. Walters eyesgot narrow "Where is our friend, mr. ´No-Problemo´Prier?" The worker looked around. A scream cut through the silence. And suddenly there was this shadow again. But this time it didnt passed by like a dream. It leaped through the darkness like a nightmare and the last thing Walter noticed was a cracking sound.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
- The pipes below the button in <b>Surface Elevators</b> don't have a texure on the sides. It looks kinda weird to me but it won't be that noticable in-game.
- The lift in <b>Surface Elevators</b> is quite thin and lacks anything strong that might connect it to the vertical and support heavy loads.
- Stuck issue in <b>Energy: -Supply</b>. Stand between the two energy sources, approach the resource node. Pass the node on the left side and move up the diagonal on the rock surface. Keep moving up a=until you fall off and get stuck :/
- Random shudder effect is very cool, I didn't notice it the last time I played it.
- Res extraction: très cool!
Looking forward to playing it on NGG server <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Ran all around this map looking for good jumps, it's interesting, but there really isn't much oppertunity for hops <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->.
Hopefully it plays well at least <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
i really would like see how much you will take and how much pages you will cover with this one here the last paragraph:<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
no, its no typo Im just too...
your statement made me laugh. yes, Im interested how this part will look like in crispies explanation, too. It only took about 20 minutes to write it down so its pretty "bugged".
<!--QuoteBegin-crispy+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (crispy)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The pipes below the button in Surface Elevators don't have a texure on the sides. It looks kinda weird to me but it won't be that noticable in-game.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
and the button at east elevator doesnt even have a texture under it, just an {invisible brush that disappears cause of the solid render. both will be fixed.
<!--QuoteBegin-swiftspear+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (swiftspear)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->here's a couple gross stuck issues I found, nothing major though.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
examples please. I spend some day on fixing tons of this problems. I know, angled brushes are the engines worst nightmare, <b>ESpecially</b> (<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->) if you play a mod called Natural-Selection. but I try to improve the freedom of movement. so every single hint may improve this map <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
examples please. I spend some day on fixing tons of this problems. I know, angled brushes are the engines worst nightmare, <b>ESpecially</b> (<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->) if you play a mod called Natural-Selection. but I try to improve the freedom of movement. so every single hint may improve this map <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I think someone already beat me too the commenting on the ones I found. I SS some, I'll go and see if I can get them up tommorrow.
I can take it (maybe) <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
thoughts after playing source the last time:
- will have to add a weldable that pumps out the water in "mine G3 access" to give the marines the advantage of dropping/building something. sounds like a good idea, doesnt it?
- personally I really like "the source hive" now. looks more alien and the gameplay isnt as bad as in b33.
- relocates into the "ore melter hive" are a pretty bad idea
- also relocates to "rock crusher" seem to have only few tactical advantages. your way to the "ore melter" and "source" is shorter but you only have 1 restower near you
- onos do well in this map
- sensory chamber as well
its you turn now <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
dont touch the water is so sexy in way it was.
the map is finish doesnt touch send to dev and pt lets play it.
time to paly come and alpha this maybe some overlays could be nice at computer scrreens near the smelter generator green controls.
[pimp and a hijack]Oh and I have myself also just finished a short passage introducing Citadel Utopia, which will be posted on the site after some team feedback[/two bits]
more entities? WHAT entities? keep in mind that we already surfing at the limits.
clipnotes: 1/4 of the brush count are clipbrushes. I admit that there are some more needed to get rit of the few stuck and block areas.
dunno whats the problem here. near the ms and near the compression hive its a big problem though.
and I would be grateful for more constructive criticism. all I got were some vague statements.
dunno whats the problem here. near the ms and near the compression hive its a big problem though.
and I would be grateful for more constructive criticism. all I got were some vague statements. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
In terms of looks this map is as good as any I have ever seen. In terms of runthrough bugs and issues, I really couldn't find many. In terms of gameplay I really wouldn't know... the only server I know that runs this map is too laggy for me to seriously consider playing on.
do you want to insult me?
please choose your words more wisely next time.
Server: Flaggschiff der -=NGG=- /NS only/www.nostromo-group.de #ngg
IP: 81.169.156.243:27030
have fun.