Friends.

PerditionPerdition Join Date: 2004-07-02 Member: 29692Members
edited October 2004 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">And their ****.</div> Okay, this post is just for venting purposes, because I don't feel like I can really handle much at the moment.

So, here I am with two groups of friends. One group hardly knows the other exist, I try my hardest to be friends with everyone at my school. One group is completely old school, dating back to the beginning of junior high, the other group is fairly recent...from the beginnings of my highschool years. And up comes this concert, I know my closest of oldschool friends wont be interested...as it isnt their music type...in fact the show doesnt even have bands they like...so I dont really bother asking them to go. Instead, I head for the newer group of friends (i'm a Junior, met them my freshman/sophomore years) and invite them, they agree to go to check out the pretty wicked hardcore band Unearth, and i'm happy and all. Then all of a sudden, one of my oldschool buddies completely turns on me tonight, talkin **** on me like no other because i didn't invite him first, telling me that i'm going to this show with a bunch of "insert vulgar term for homosexual here" etc. etc. etc.

They were just getting so **** that I didn't come to them first, and I feel kind of like a worn out puppet or something, like they were using me for what they wanted all these years, and are so **** that I finally decided to get a mind of my own. Either that or they just want me for themselves, I don't know what to do...I don't want to **** anyone off.

End venting session.

*edit* And now they are sharing stories about how ive 'changed' and im not who i 'used to be.' The group of friends from junior high are very judgemental about other people, and wont hesitate to insult someone they dont even know anything about. Which upsets me greatly, and I yell at them for it. One friend specifically stands out right now, he is probably red in the face, screaming about what i've done...or something. I just dont get how someone can be so quick to turn on me because I dont consult them in everything that I do.

Comments

  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    Tell them to grow up. And if they're going be losers, ditch them. Be friends with people because it's better to be around them, not so you can access those cool offers that need your friend's emails!
  • CabooseCaboose title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
    See, I'm glad I don't have any close friends any more. I am still trying to get over the last time I did have close friends... They ditch you and leave you when they feel they've used you to the fullect extent.
  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
    edited October 2004
    Have you considered actually telling them "I didn't think you guys would have wanted to go. If the oppurtunity comes up again I'll ask you guys first. Sorry."?


    Conversely, and/or less appropriately, "**** off! I'll invite whoever the **** I want to go wherever the **** I want and there's nothing you ******* can do about it, so either accept it and grow up or ball your ***** ***** eyes out." With more or less swearing as you see fit.



    Generally, I'd go with option one...or a combination of the two - depending on how 'hardcore' your friends are and your relationship with them. My response to one of my friends would be like, "Yea, get a life, you know you wouldn't have wanted to go anyway."


    ...but I say, "Meow?" to people instead of "What?" in real life (...sometimes). Although, it also has the conotation of, "I don't understand what you just said."
    [but it actually works, because if you say anything with the right intonation it will sound like "What?" like "Mmm?" "Duhh?" and anything else.]


    [edit] I figured I had a few to many brackets going on in this post.
  • MantridMantrid Lockpick Join Date: 2003-12-07 Member: 24109Members
    Wow... I hope things don't turn out like that for me. My situation is exactly like that, except no one has gotten angry at each other. That is, I have my very old group of friends, and my new high-school drama friends. The difference is that they tolerate each other, and are very aware of each other, as on multiple occaisions I've been pulled (literally, these people grab me and pull me to their area) frome one group to the other.
  • PerditionPerdition Join Date: 2004-07-02 Member: 29692Members
    edited October 2004
    Nah, it isn't that bad. I'll explain my groups of friends a bit more.

    I've got the old, judgemental what ive deemed to be **** to anyone they havent known for ages.

    And i've got the newer group of friends, who seem to be pretty well accepting of everyone they meet, unless they have a good reason not to.

    There is specifically two of the older friends who have gotten rather FURIOUS with me within the last two hours because I refust to base my life around them. Telling me that i've ditched them, et cetera. When in actuality I feel like they have kind of betrayed me in a way...they don't want me to have new friends it seems, they don't want me to hang around new people, one specifically talks trash on everyone I have ever mentioned to him.

    It just pisses me off. But, i've got one old school friend that I know ill stick with through thick and thin. (nonok on the boards) this kid is a badass like no other, he isn't ever serious whilst being judgemental, it's all fun and games with him.
  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Perdition Flamethrower+Oct 2 2004, 02:15 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Perdition Flamethrower @ Oct 2 2004, 02:15 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Nah, it isn't that bad. I'll explain my groups of friends a bit more.

    I've got the old, judgemental what ive deemed to be **** to anyone they havent known for ages.

    And i've got the newer group of friends, who seem to be pretty well accepting of everyone they meet, unless they have a good reason not to.

    There is specifically two of the older friends who have gotten rather FURIOUS with me within the last two hours because I refust to base my life around them. Telling me that i've ditched them, et cetera. When in actuality I feel like they have kind of betrayed me in a way...they don't want me to have new friends it seems, they don't want me to hang around new people, one specifically talks trash on everyone I have ever mentioned to him.

    It just pisses me off. But, i've got one old school friend that I know ill stick with through thick and thin. (nonok on the boards) this kid is a badass like no other, he isn't ever serious whilst being judgemental, it's all fun and games with him. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Well talk to him about this one friend...and just describe him in a sort of vague way.


    And then when he puts the guy down, just break out the "...I was talking about you, dude." line. That would probably work.
  • CronosCronos Join Date: 2002-10-18 Member: 1542Members
    1. Tell your "friends" that you felt that the music wouldnt be their style and you didnt feel that you had to consult them about it

    2. If they're still furious tell them that next time you'll check with them and that it's probably too late to do anything about it now without making things worse.

    3. If they're STILL furious, tell them to get **** and say good riddance. Friends dont get this incensed about some rock concert or whatever. Burn the damn bridges, and nuke them too for good measure.
  • pardzhpardzh Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Members
    I'd be **** if you didn't invite me to see Unearth. They freaking rule.

    But on a serious note, that's pretty lame. Just explain to these kids that you knew they wouldn't want to come to the show with you. You didn't mean anything by it, right? If they don't understand that, it sounds like they aren't very good friends to me.
  • V_MANV_MAN V-MAN Join Date: 2002-11-03 Member: 6217Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Duff-Man+Oct 2 2004, 01:13 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Duff-Man @ Oct 2 2004, 01:13 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'd be **** if you didn't invite me to see Unearth. They freaking rule.

    But on a serious note, that's pretty lame. Just explain to these kids that you knew they wouldn't want to come to the show with you. You didn't mean anything by it, right? If they don't understand that, it sounds like they aren't very good friends to me. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ^^
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Perdition Flamethrower+Oct 2 2004, 01:50 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Perdition Flamethrower @ Oct 2 2004, 01:50 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->

    *edit* And now they are sharing stories about how ive 'changed' and im not who i 'used to be.' The group of friends from junior high are very judgemental about other people, and wont hesitate to insult someone they dont even know anything about. Which upsets me greatly, and I yell at them for it. One friend specifically stands out right now, he is probably red in the face, screaming about what i've done...or something. I just dont get how someone can be so quick to turn on me because I dont consult them in everything that I do. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> I had a group of friends that I knew for a long time like that up until i graduated from High school



    ... they arnt my friends any more
  • SinSpawnSinSpawn Harbinger of Suffering Join Date: 2002-11-12 Member: 8359Members
    Be all what not and

    <b><u>Option 1</b></u>
    'Yo man, ya [nasty word] I hate you and I plan to make your life a living hell cause your just a user, you call yourself a friend! I've had [other word for poo] stains that were closer to me then you, you good for nothing [ergh...some other word]" *then hit him for no reason at all*

    or

    <b><u>Option 2</b></u>
    "Tch, whatever, stop being a little whiner and do something about it. Wanna know why I didn't ask you! Did you even think why!"

    or

    <b><u>Option 3</b></u>
    "I hate you! I hate you all" *then have nervous breakdown and blame it on him, make him feel guilty or stupid.

    I'd go with option 1 then 3, maybe 2 if I were tired.
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    I've got a perspective from the other side... I used to hang out almost exclusively with this one kid throughout junior high. Come high school, he basically disappeared and started hanging out with some older (girls) instead. Slowly he'd hang out with me less and less, and it made me pretty sad, because until then my life kinda HAD revolved around him - he was my best friend, we'd hang out and play video games or whatever pretty much every day after school. In the end, I'm probably the unusual one for being too shy to adapt and start hanging out with more people, but I wish he remembered how I had always been there for him, my family always took him on vacation, etc...
  • PerditionPerdition Join Date: 2004-07-02 Member: 29692Members
    Well, this guy (the one who hates me right now for hanging out with kids he doesnt approve of) kinda ditched me and all of my friends at one point. He let a girl completely get in the way of his friends and social life. In fact, last night...when they decided I was a bad person, I had even taken the time out of my life, to pick the lot of them up at 9:30 pm, and drive them up into another town to see a movie, then drive them all back at midnight.

    There were four of us, including me, two of them are great guys, the other one is the ONE that I have been talking about this whole time. I get home, one kid I hardly hang out with because he lives so far away (but ive known him a long time) starts screaming at me via AIM, and i'm wondering what the hell! I guess he went and complained to the "one" and got him to change sides. That guy was never firm on his ground anyway, unless it helped him.

    I chewed out "the one" last night about insulting my friends when he is near me, and then we kind of broke off contact for now. I'll see what happens. If he continues to a baby because I don't talk to him about everything I do, i'll just stop talking to the kid.

    Also, by me inviting a couple of 'new' friends to the show, I didn't mean any harm to my other friends. In fact, the ones that are complaining because I didn't invite them first, happen to NEVER INVITE ME ANYWHERE! And when they do, I end up driving.

    I feel used. ._.
  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    Sounds like you need to take less crud from others. If someone started screaming at me for 'abandoning' them I'd just shout "well if you're so determined to be abandoned I'll let you feel what it's really like" and storm off. I'd let them come chase me if they cared and if they didn't it's no skin off my nose... people know they can only get away with so much with me before I tell them where to go and they'd better be sure to start kissing feet hardcore to make up for it if they expect me to bother with them again.

    Don't waste your time on him; you've spent too long already. Obviously because he's with your old group and I'm assuming they've not <b>all</b> gone hissing about you then you'll probably have to deal with him tagging along but it doesn't mean you have to be friendly or talk to him =3
    If he has any sense about him he'll crack and realise he's being a jerk. If not then you're probably better off this way...
  • FrankensteinFrankenstein Join Date: 2003-02-19 Member: 13750Members
    sounds to me like your old school friends got some narcisistic traits, yay!

    sounds like they also have a hard time fitting in as well.
    u are gonna have a fun time with them. They are jealous and there is almost nothing u can do to go back to how it was before.

    From this point on, they will probably **** on you no matter what you do.
    The best thing to do is to is to just **** on them, and cause them to seek other people as friends, because they are very ignorant, and need reject people of a higher social status. This rejection of people of a higher social status helps them "fuel up" their low self esteem so they can feel "content". There will probably be nothing you can do to get around this, because they need to always feel superior to feel happy.
  • PerditionPerdition Join Date: 2004-07-02 Member: 29692Members
    Heh, "the one" I keep mentioning is also overweight like no other. I'm just his friend because i've known him for so long. But now, I don't know about him anymore.
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-eediot+Oct 2 2004, 07:54 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (eediot @ Oct 2 2004, 07:54 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Tell them to grow up. And if they're going be losers, ditch them. Be friends with people because it's better to be around them, not so you can access those cool offers that need your friend's emails! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yeah I've ditched a load of people lately, because they keep going "Oh hes too mature for that..." ... I've come to the conclusion they're just totally immature <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • SinSpawnSinSpawn Harbinger of Suffering Join Date: 2002-11-12 Member: 8359Members
    Now me being serious:-

    After a while you know who are you friends and who are their just for eye candy.

    I'm not a violent person but when something starts to arise best thing to do is just ignore it and move on, whose loss is it? not mine(yours) but theirs.

    I say it alot but its really useful <b>'Just let it go'</b>
  • ClashenClashen Join Date: 2003-08-22 Member: 20087Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-SinSpawn+Oct 2 2004, 06:26 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SinSpawn @ Oct 2 2004, 06:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Be all what not and

    <b><u>Option 1</b></u>
    'Yo man, ya [nasty word] I hate you and I plan to make your life a living hell cause your just a user, you call yourself a friend! I've had [other word for poo] stains that were closer to me then you, you good for nothing [ergh...some other word]" *then hit him for no reason at all*

    or

    <b><u>Option 2</b></u>
    "Tch, whatever, stop being a little whiner and do something about it. Wanna know why I didn't ask you! Did you even think why!"

    or

    <b><u>Option 3</b></u>
    "I hate you! I hate you all" *then have nervous breakdown and blame it on him, make him feel guilty or stupid.

    I'd go with option 1 then 3, maybe 2 if I were tired. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    /OT

    That signature is evil.
  • SinSpawnSinSpawn Harbinger of Suffering Join Date: 2002-11-12 Member: 8359Members
    Changed theme <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->, Avril Lavigne is not Ebil! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    But beware the kitty of dewm shall return one day!
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