What Do You Say..

ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet!Members Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Posts: 5,700 Advanced user
to get someone to quit smoking..?
this is a conversation with a friend of mine. she's been off smokes for about a month..

QUOTE
11:49:35 ____: hmm... can u live 10 mins w/o me? X3
11:49:42 zig: no..
11:49:43 zig: why?
11:49:45 zig: :3
11:49:58 ____: um.. i just...
11:50:08 ____: damn cant think of an excuse <_<
11:50:16 zig: what do you need to do lol
11:50:24 ____: my mom gave me cigs >.<
11:50:28 zig: .
11:50:31 zig: don't do it :\
11:50:35 zig: please? :\
11:50:35 ____: i do
11:50:44 zig: what do you mean you do D:
11:50:53 lysh: err i do it* lol
11:50:59 zig: nooo...
11:51:02 zig: cmon ____ :\
11:51:11 ____: yes <<
11:51:15 zig: D:
11:51:20 zig: ____ i really don't want you to smoke...
11:51:25 zig: why do you have to ;_;
11:51:36 ____: cause i got cigs <<
11:51:43 zig: give em back..
11:51:51 ____: noway D:
11:51:54 zig: and why don't you tell your mom you're trying to quit T-T
11:52:13 ____: err i think i forgot to tell her lol
11:52:19 zig: you're killing me T-T
11:52:37 ____: no iam just killing myself lol
11:52:48 zig: but it hurts me too..
11:53:04 zig: please just don't... for me? :*[
11:53:29 ____: i already actually quit it for... its not like i really want it <_<
11:53:37 ____: for u*
11:53:52 zig: what do you mean?
11:55:33 ____: ah nothing
11:55:35 ____: ill brb
11:55:40 zig: sad.gif
11:55:52 zig: god damnit..


she's relapsed like this a few times, each time either not telling me until later.. or saying that she's not addicted anymore, she just "has some" and "doesn't wanna waste them".

WTH am i supposed to do? i don't want her smoking.. she's important to me and i know she's strong enough.. *sigh*

help? :\
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Comments

  • TheSaviorTheSavior Members Join Date: 2003-10-14 Member: 21688Posts: 277
    edited June 2004
    =/ You can keep pushing for her to stop, but its a decision they have to make on their own. Not really a whole lot you can do besides talking to her.

    Atleast from my experience anyway. My brother used to smoke, and it was killing me. He's 8 years older than me, and it was the whole "Big brother" deal. I blocked his truck in with my truck one day, and when he told me to move, I told him "Not untill you quit." We ended up talking for a long time, and eventually he promised to quit "if it meant that much to me." So far he's 3 years without a cig.


    Edit#1: ...*shoots talesin in the face*

    Dimensions - 384 x 75.. size... 23kb.. Damnit.

    Edit#2: Pfft, fixed. 7 kb.
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  • raz0rraz0r Members Join Date: 2003-07-24 Member: 18395Posts: 1,655
    hmm, tough one.

    If they are going to be that stubborn about it, then there's not much you can do except repeatedly telling them that it's wrong etc.
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  • TommyVercettiTommyVercetti Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow Join Date: 2003-02-10 Member: 13390Posts: 2,510
    I had this friend back when I was 9, he was 13 at the time. He tried cigarettes and even though he father smoked all the time he wouldn't allow this kid to smoke. So, one day his dad found out and he said to his kid "You may not think they will kill you. But if I ever find you smoking them again, it'll be much faster," and he showed him a loaded M1911A1. It sounds like a bad thing to do to your kid, but he was so scared he never smoked again. Of course, I was 9 so I said "Cool! A gun!"
    The above post is the result of sleep deprivation and something known as "teh awesumsawce."
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  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Members Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Posts: 5,700 Advanced user
    too bad i don't live anywhere near her.. can't do anything direct like trap her car or brandish a gun.
  • pardzhpardzh Members Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Posts: 3,132
    I went through this, except it was me getting pushed by a friend to stop. It was smoking something else too, but I won't get into the nitty gritty. The deal was a little different too, me and my friend are like superclose, she's... something else to me. She also lives right down the street and I see her practically every day.

    She just told me that it meant a ton to her that I would stop and kept pushing it. I lied to her a couple times about it and she found out every time, and eventually I just felt awful about lying and got guilted into stopping. Been clean for like 4 weeks now and I'm really happy about it, heh.
    the artist formerly known as duff-man
  • TheSaviorTheSavior Members Join Date: 2003-10-14 Member: 21688Posts: 277
    edited June 2004
    As I said, its really their choice, but you can keep talking to her and pushing her to stop. If you dont live near her or whatnot, I'm afraid thats about all you CAN do...

    Best of luck, though. I really hope you get her to quit.


    Edit: Spelling errors... biggrin.gif
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  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Members Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Posts: 7,651 Advanced user
    Say "Listen up, you. Either you quit or I'm done with you, weakling."


    Works every time.
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    #BATTERY
  • Cereal_KillRCereal_KillR Members Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1837Posts: 4,943 Advanced user
    looking from your profile you're 17. Your friend is probably 17ish as well. A mother who gives cigs to such a young person is irresponsible.

    Whatever you do don't do what CWAG says. The best I've done (well once basically) is try to show that you really need her to stop, but don't force her. Saying "oh come on it's bad for you and you know it" won't help they'll only get frustrated and continue. Try to make her understand that you want her to be well, and that's without smoking. It's for her own good before everything, but don't show her that you want to deceive her. So far she still smokes so telling her something she doesn't want to hear is a bad approach. And tell her mom NOT TO GIVE CIGARETTES, I mean she's supposedly 17!
    -signed-
  • eggmaceggmac Members Join Date: 2003-03-03 Member: 14246Posts: 1,152
    edited June 2004
    Tell her that kissing smokers tastes bad (it really does)
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  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Members Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Posts: 7,651 Advanced user
    Ok fine I was joking.



    Seriously? All you can do is ask her to not do it. (Zig feel free to PM me and talk I had a situation but the object in question was a lot worse than cigs)
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    #BATTERY
  • SnidelySnidely Members Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13098Posts: 3,893
    edited June 2004
    Most of my sisters smoked at one point or another. One of them just dropped the habit cold turkey, another has relapses, and the other had a real hard time of coping without her tar. Each of them had to come to their own realisation that it wasn't good for them. Just make sure your friend knows that you'd really like him/her to stop, and that they'd have your support if they did...beyond that, it's all up to them.

    ninja edit
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  • EpidemicEpidemic Dark Force Gorge Members Join Date: 2003-06-29 Member: 17781Posts: 3,104 Advanced user
    Talk to her in person about it, there'a good chance she's just teasing you..
    I saw a radscorpion the other day.
  • EEKEEK Banned Join Date: 2004-02-25 Member: 26898Posts: 1,341
    Put pictures of tar-clogged lungs, rotten teeth, orange fingers, and inflammed esophagus' on her car window.
    QUOTE (Marine01)
    It hurts me, deep down, on a whole other level of conciousness to do this, but I agree absolutely with EEK.
  • Cereal_KillRCereal_KillR Members Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1837Posts: 4,943 Advanced user
    QUOTE (CommunistWithAGun @ Jun 12 2004, 12:52 AM)
    Seriously? All you can do is ask her to not do it.

    from personal experience (cousin, and another friend) this doesn't work. As I said, they get frustrated and start "OMG don't start with this bull. I already get enough with my family" and start their rebel fight the system I smoke cuz it's cool process.
    -signed-
  • MulletMullet Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Posts: 3,290
    Just tell her you won't ever talk to her again if she keeps on smoking. marine.gif
  • dr_ddr_d Members Join Date: 2003-03-28 Member: 14979Posts: 2,598
    Honestly I started smoking because I started going to clubs and drank, when you get drunk smoking feels even better and you have lack of judgement so you don't really notice how much you're puffing away. I still know its bad for me, but I also know its not as big of a deal as modern media and politics are making of it. In the end its a personal choice and a preferance, might as well be talking to someone about not eating junkfood.

    PS I didn't start smoking until about 4 months ago, I'm 19, and I now smoke everyday because I feel better when I have a cig then when I don't, people give me the typical it's bad for you rap. In the end its up to the person, I suggest just telling them you will support them if they ever decide to quit.

    PPS don't push the issue too hard or your friend will start avoiding you like a certain someone that told me cancer statistics every time they saw me smoking : P
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  • xioutlawixxioutlawix Members, Constellation Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 7118Posts: 646
    From how the conversation went, it seems almost like she's just dancing around the issue for attention.
    Call her an attention **** and be done with it.
  • AgentOrangeAgentOrange Members Join Date: 2002-11-18 Member: 9244Posts: 575 Advanced user
    QUOTE (Mullet @ Jun 11 2004, 05:49 PM)
    Just tell her you won't ever talk to her again if she keeps on smoking. marine.gif

    If you do that she's better off without someone like you in her life if you ask me.

    I've told alot of friends to stop smoking in the past. Maybe one did. Noone wants to be preached at. Just let her do what she wants.

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  • X_StickmanX_Stickman Not good enough for a custom title. Members, Constellation Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15533Posts: 3,567 Advanced user
    The only real thing you can do, if you don't live anywhere near, is tell her to stop, but that very rarely works. My mom finally quit when she was.... 37 or sommat i think, but she'd been smoking since she was about 12-13. My grandad quit when he was about 56-57 too, and he'd been smoking for ages i guess.

    My mom just went cold turkey. She just stopped smoking, but kept a pack of ciggies by her ( i don't even know why) but she never touched them. She didn't want to smoke any more, i guess. Plus all the money you can save (especially for heavy smokers).

    My Grandad stopped for health reasons. He just stopped cold as well, no coming down slowly (he swore that doing that worked far better than the nicotine patches).

    Being around the two of them as they were quitting wasn't nice at all biggrin.gif

    My Dad just won't stop, no matter what. I don't know why even, he just says "i don't have the willpower" and lights up another one. I really wouldn't care what he's doing to himself to be honest, but i feel it affecting me now. I've been around very heavy smokers for all of my life (even at school) and because my grandad and uncle are mechanics, i spent a lot of time around chain smoking mechanics too, so i've probably got some form of cancer by now. If smoking only affected one person i'd be fine with that, but it affects everyone near you and if they don't smoke, it's really not pleasent to have someone elses smoke all over you.

    Anyway, i'll get off my soapbox now. You could try showing her some pictures of infected lungs etc (some are seriously nasty), try pleading, try explaining (as i mentioned) how nasty it is for other people to be near a smoker etc. But in the end it really is up to her, and if she doesn't have the willpower to just say "I'm not smoking another one" ("i'll just have one more" doesn't work. ever.), she won't give up.

    Bloody addictive nicotine. A pox on thee! A pox i say!
    QUOTE(T h e m @ Apr 10 2005, 06:19 AM)
    Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, elbow to the face.

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  • EEKEEK Banned Join Date: 2004-02-25 Member: 26898Posts: 1,341
    edited June 2004
    QUOTE (dr.d @ Jun 11 2004, 06:53 PM)

    PS I didn't start smoking until about 4 months ago, I'm 19, and I now smoke everyday because I feel better when I have a cig then when I don't, people give me the typical it's bad for you rap.  In the end its up to the person, I suggest just telling them you will support them if they ever decide to quit.

    You're forgetting the part about smelling like an ashtray, making everything you touch reek like a trash can, being a general inconvenience to everyone else because "I really need a smoke", etc.

    I mean, smoking is just like vomiting all over someone.
    QUOTE (Marine01)
    It hurts me, deep down, on a whole other level of conciousness to do this, but I agree absolutely with EEK.
  • dr_ddr_d Members Join Date: 2003-03-28 Member: 14979Posts: 2,598
    edited June 2004
    Yes being a general inconvinence to everying within the 20 foot square radius for every 500 miles you are allowed to smoke in California.

    I don't go around blowing smoke into peoples faces, or licking peoples faces after I finished a stogie. And if you are sensitive enough to smoke that it can bother you 10 feet away from me in open air then you need to buy yourself a bubble.

    PS Second hand smoke is a hyped up anti smoking myth, and several science journals have published findings that reverse the facts presented that it causes cancer. The anti smoking zombies still use it in over 70% of their comercials though, I guess no one minds being lied to though.
    The world is my gaint **** contest, my **** is pine scented, I'm the Muhamed Ali of the internet, and King Kong really ain't got nothing on me.

    E-thugs n' Harmony, Respect.
  • Chaos_LlamaChaos_Llama Members Join Date: 2004-04-23 Member: 28124Posts: 257
    My dad smokes. He's been trying to quit for about a year now. He lied a few times and we eventually caught him.

    Your best bet is send her to a doctor. My dad went to his doctor and he scared the crap out of him, it didnt last long until he was smoking again, but the scared effect is still there.

    Show her this: http://www.squizzle.com/movies/no-smoke5.wmv
    image
    image
  • Lith_DeathLith_Death Members Join Date: 2004-02-23 Member: 26834Posts: 95
    My girlfreind is into that same ****! shes getting bad... in fact not only does she smoke... i think she has a pretty bad drug problem too... i would do anything to get her to stop... but she just cant pass up a hit... i mean, it cant be that hard to save yourself from that stuff... i mean.. doesnt she know drugs kill your brain cells? waht should i do guys? help me out... please...
    Cutegorge! kweh! :D
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Members Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Posts: 4,417 Advanced user
    You can't get someone to stop smoking, as such. There's really no way of talking someone out of iit, that I can see. The only thing you can do is tell them how much it hurts you to see them hurting themselves.
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  • Trent_HawkinsTrent_Hawkins Members Join Date: 2003-03-25 Member: 14875Posts: 94
    QUOTE (EEK @ Jun 11 2004, 04:57 PM)
    Put pictures of tar-clogged lungs, rotten teeth, orange fingers, and inflammed esophagus' on her car window.

    doesn't work that well- these pictures (and others) must be printed cigarette cartons where I live;
    -A few have been disturbed by them; but only a small amount of these are willing to actually quit as a result.
    -Most simply don't care. "oh look a picture.... aah well, I'll just throw throw it on the ground when it's empty anyway"
    -others seem to find it an excuse to buy more... a "collect the whole set" if you will.

    I'm just glad that my city now bans smoking in public buildings... although it has created the "gauntlet of smokers" near almost all entrances to buildings; the trick is to start holding your breath about 30 feet from the doors (depending on the wind).

    It's somewhat odd when traveling though... you honestly don't expect them to ask you if you want to be seated in the smoking or non-smoking.
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  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Members Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Posts: 5,700 Advanced user
    thanks for all the support guys. i've got my plan of action all settled and everything, but feel free to keep discussing.

    btw, my friend is 22. and i don't call her an attention hoo'er, or get rid of her, or creep her out, or threaten to cut her off.. because i love her more than i can effectively express in words. she's the rain for my desert blossoms.. or something.

    i've thought about it... and she's come pretty far. general consensus of professionals is that the more times you "quit", the easier it should be in the future to really "quit". she's quit... about 2-3 times. and i should be able to help her in person pretty soon...

    but i talked to a friend of mine who happens to be a psychiatrist specializing in addict treatment. he says that when the recovery of the addict becomes more MY business than that of the addict, the battle is lost. that statement, coupled with the fact that i love her for everything including her faults, says to me i should maybe cool it a little. i know she's strong enough, and when the time is right, she'll quit it like it was nothing.


    well, thanks, guys. you know i luv you all :3
  • ElderwyrmElderwyrm Members Join Date: 2003-04-07 Member: 15296Posts: 618
    QUOTE (Lith Death @ Jun 11 2004, 10:54 PM)
    My girlfreind is into that same ****! shes getting bad... in fact not only does she smoke... i think she has a pretty bad drug problem too... i would do anything to get her to stop... but she just cant pass up a hit... i mean, it cant be that hard to save yourself from that stuff... i mean.. doesnt she know drugs kill your brain cells? waht should i do guys? help me out... please...

    What kind of drugs :/
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  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Members Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Posts: 5,700 Advanced user
    yeah. helps to know.

    side note: guys, open up. it's not against forum law to talk about drugs in the context of our friends and loved ones who may be unfortunately addicted.

    my cousin, for example, is doing a damn good job shaking her meth habit.. clean for 6 or so months, i think it was?

    the 4 months in jail probably helped with the cold turkey part...
  • Lith_DeathLith_Death Members Join Date: 2004-02-23 Member: 26834Posts: 95
    lets see..... hmmm.

    1) weed
    2) oxy-cotton
    3) speed


    i guesss thats all she told me....
    Cutegorge! kweh! :D
  • CMEastCMEast Members Join Date: 2002-05-19 Member: 632Posts: 1,655
    If you love someone enough then you won't try and control their lives.

    Smoking (and even some drugs) just isn't that big a deal. Let them live their lives how they want to. Tell them how you feel by all means but don't order them about or cut them out of your lives if they don't say what you want to hear.

    Be there if she want's to quit but don't judge her if she doesn't. If I decided to smoke and my friends talked to me how you seemed to have talked to her about it I'd hate it. Friends are supposed to accept you for who you are.
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