Cop: Did you kill Mr. Burns? Moe: No. *ding* Cop: He checks out. We can let him go. Moe: Good, cuz I've got a date tonight *buzz* Moe: Dinner with friends. *buzz* Moe: Dinner alone, ogling the Victoria Secrets catalog *buzz* Moe: (looking ashamed) Sears catalog. *ding* Moe: Now unhook me from this thing! I don't deserve this kind of crap! *buzz*
It's the last line that makes it brilliant.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> LOL i remmeber that one. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> that is class
speaking of lie detectors, I forgot which one this one was in:
Lie detector whatever person: We will give you a number of simple yes or no questions and you understand them truthfully. Do you understand? Homer: Yes.
Episode where Lisa and Mr.Burns make that fish factory I think and Lisa is given 10% of $1,000,000 and Lisa refuses it
Dr.Hibert: Wow Mr.Simpson! Your the first person to have a triple heart attack at the same time Homer: Don't worry Lisa, it was only $1000. Just forget it Lisa: Er Dad? 10% of $1,000,000 is not $1000
(outside the room)
Nurse: Code Blue! (crash team runs into Homers room)
When Krusty is doing stand up comedy and telling it like it is...
Homer: I hope he tells us to burn our pants today...these things have been killing me!
*later on homer yells to stage*
Homer: Dont you hate pants?
and the canyonairo song at the end is funny as hell: (doing this from memory) Canyonairo... 40 feet long two lanes wide its 25 tons of american pride. Canyonairo... Its a deer smacking squirrel squashing driving machines! Canyonairo... unexplainable fires are a matter for the courts.
Scorpio:Homer if you could kill someone on the way out it would help me alot.
(i think the scorpio/globex episode is my favorite)
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody! Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick! Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology. Homer: [pensive] Of course. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic! Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor? Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, heh... Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes! Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!
I love the "it's your window to weight gain" line
Followed later in the same episode with:
Bart: And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas -- Marge: Bart!
Homer: Hey whats in the dog house? Bart: Posum Homer: pfft, its probably that Milhouse kid. *posum attacks Homer Homer: ahhahah, yoooow, ahahah Bart: Dad are you Okay? Homer: I think we should make a new dog house. Bart: thats a goo Idea Homer: But first we need to go to the hospital to get the fixed. *Homer lifts up his shirt and his guts and organs are all hanging out. Lisa: Dad, how did that happen witout it ripping your shirt? Home Pfft, what am I a tailor?
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh My God, what is going on in there! Skinner: Aroaraborialice... Superintendent Chalmers: <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Aroaraborialice...? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Solely localized in your kitchen? Skinner: Meh Yes! Superintendent Chalmers: Can I see it? Skinner ehhh, No.
Lynol Hutz: Judge, I'd like to call for a "bad court thingy". Judge: You mean a mistrial? Lynol Hutz: Yeah, one of those. Thats why your the judge and i'm the "Law talkin guy". Judge: A Lawer <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--Majin+Jan 9 2004, 03:38 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Majin @ Jan 9 2004, 03:38 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Homer: Hey whats in the dog house? Bart: Posum Homer: pfft, its probably that Milhouse kid. *posum attacks Homer Homer: ahhahah, yoooow, ahahah Bart: Dad are you Okay? Homer: I think we should make a new dog house. Bart: thats a goo Idea Homer: But first we need to go to the hospital to get the fixed. *Homer lifts up his shirt and his guts and organs are all hanging out. Lisa: Dad, how did that happen witout it ripping your shirt? Home Pfft, what am I a tailor?
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh My God, what is going on in there! Skinner: Aroaraborialice... Superintendent Chalmers: <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Aroaraborialice...? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Solely localized in your kitchen? Skinner: Meh Yes! Superintendent Chalmers: Can I see it? Skinner ehhh, No.
Lynol Hutz: Judge, I'd like to call for a "bad court thingy". Judge: You mean a mistrial? Lynol Hutz: Yeah, one of those. Thats why your the judge and i'm the "Law talkin guy". Judge: A Lawer <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> It's "Aurora Borealis" lad <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
homer: well, crying isn't gonna bring him back... unless your tears smell like dog food. so you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.
Zig...I am Captain Planet!Join Date: 2002-10-23Member: 1576Members
no, this one.
homer: i know what you're saying, bart. when i was young, i wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. well, goodnight.
This will probably ruin it, but if someone wants a good laugh over the correctly written out quotes : <a href='http://www.lifeisajoke.com/simpsonspeak_html.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.lifeisajoke.com/simpsonspeak_html.htm</a>
Comic Book Guy: "No cutting, yes, you I'm talking to Mr Cutter...scuse me, coming through"
Professor Frink in the Pulp Fiction episode: "Proffesor Frink Proffesor Frink he'll make you laugh he'll make you think..with the...whatsits and the..damn those monkeys...."
The Island episode, one of the best ever IMO! (Homer as Mr. X)
No. 6: Hello, I am number 6, what is your number? Homer: I am not a number, I am a human being! And..oh wiat, Im number 5. HAHA! In your face number 6! No. 6: Yes, good show.
Evil German Homer lookalike: Isn't there a show on about an evil island or something? Bart: You look different dad. Evil German Homer lookalike: I am a new tie wearink.
And the Sideshow Bob/Cape Fear episode.
<i>Homer busts into barts room with a kinfe and yells real fast</i> BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED!!?? <i>and afer a few seconds and some words (I forget the words) he busts back in</i> BARTDOYOUWANTOTSEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK!!!??
And of course, the always classic one:
Homer: In every man there is a struggle of good and evil <i>Homer thinks about himself in a devil costume, shaking maracas and dancing around a grave that says "RIP GOOD HOMER'</i> I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!
Comments
(Lie detector scene, who shot mr burns episodes)
Cop: Did you kill Mr. Burns?
Moe: No.
*ding*
Cop: He checks out. We can let him go.
Moe: Good, cuz I've got a date tonight
*buzz*
Moe: Dinner with friends.
*buzz*
Moe: Dinner alone, ogling the Victoria Secrets catalog
*buzz*
Moe: (looking ashamed) Sears catalog.
*ding*
Moe: Now unhook me from this thing! I don't deserve this kind of crap!
*buzz*
It's the last line that makes it brilliant.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
LOL i remmeber that one. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
that is class
Lie detector whatever person: We will give you a number of simple yes or no questions and you understand them truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes.
Lie detector blows up.
Homer: The veal might have died of lonliness.
Krusty The Clown: "Tonight I'm going to suuuuuck......*reads cue cards*...Your bloood!"
Dr.Hibert: Wow Mr.Simpson! Your the first person to have a triple heart attack at the same time
Homer: Don't worry Lisa, it was only $1000. Just forget it
Lisa: Er Dad? 10% of $1,000,000 is not $1000
(outside the room)
Nurse: Code Blue! (crash team runs into Homers room)
Police Chief: You destroyed the shipment, Simpson!
Homer: Uh-huh, chief?
Police Chief: My penicillin was in that shipment!
Homer: Uh-oh spaghettios!
Mr Burns: *opens cage containing flying monkeys "Fly my pretties, fly!" *monkeys fall to their deaths* (sigh) "Continue the research."
Jimbo: "You kissed a girl! That is so ****!"
Homer: *brandishing a gun* "Look Marge, this is the handle, and this is what you point at whatever you want to die!"
Homer: I hope he tells us to burn our pants today...these things have been killing me!
*later on homer yells to stage*
Homer: Dont you hate pants?
and the canyonairo song at the end is funny as hell:
(doing this from memory)
Canyonairo... 40 feet long two lanes wide its 25 tons of american pride. Canyonairo... Its a deer smacking squirrel squashing driving machines! Canyonairo... unexplainable fires are a matter for the courts.
Scorpio:Homer if you could kill someone on the way out it would help me alot.
(i think the scorpio/globex episode is my favorite)
Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously
underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow
steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
Homer: [pensive] Of course.
Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected
food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group
and the chocotastic!
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with
bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon,
heh...
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it
against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's
your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!
I love the "it's your window to weight gain" line
Followed later in the same episode with:
Bart: And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas --
Marge: Bart!
Homer: "I see the light, it burns!"
Ralph: "I took the brake of the car!"
Homer: "It's even worse than I thought....EPCOT! NOOOOO!"
Homer: "Mmm...hippo."
Bart: Posum
Homer: pfft, its probably that Milhouse kid.
*posum attacks Homer
Homer: ahhahah, yoooow, ahahah
Bart: Dad are you Okay?
Homer: I think we should make a new dog house.
Bart: thats a goo Idea
Homer: But first we need to go to the hospital to get the fixed.
*Homer lifts up his shirt and his guts and organs are all hanging out.
Lisa: Dad, how did that happen witout it ripping your shirt?
Home Pfft, what am I a tailor?
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh My God, what is going on in there!
Skinner: Aroaraborialice...
Superintendent Chalmers: <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Aroaraborialice...? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Solely localized in your kitchen?
Skinner: Meh Yes!
Superintendent Chalmers: Can I see it?
Skinner ehhh, No.
Lynol Hutz: Judge, I'd like to call for a "bad court thingy".
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lynol Hutz: Yeah, one of those. Thats why your the judge and i'm the "Law talkin guy".
Judge: A Lawer <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
Bart: Posum
Homer: pfft, its probably that Milhouse kid.
*posum attacks Homer
Homer: ahhahah, yoooow, ahahah
Bart: Dad are you Okay?
Homer: I think we should make a new dog house.
Bart: thats a goo Idea
Homer: But first we need to go to the hospital to get the fixed.
*Homer lifts up his shirt and his guts and organs are all hanging out.
Lisa: Dad, how did that happen witout it ripping your shirt?
Home Pfft, what am I a tailor?
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh My God, what is going on in there!
Skinner: Aroaraborialice...
Superintendent Chalmers: <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Aroaraborialice...? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Solely localized in your kitchen?
Skinner: Meh Yes!
Superintendent Chalmers: Can I see it?
Skinner ehhh, No.
Lynol Hutz: Judge, I'd like to call for a "bad court thingy".
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lynol Hutz: Yeah, one of those. Thats why your the judge and i'm the "Law talkin guy".
Judge: A Lawer <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
It's "Aurora Borealis" lad <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Marge: God only asks for one hour per week.
Homer: In that case, he should have the week an hour longer... lousy God.
<b>Homer</b>: I'm getting outta here alive, even if it kills me!
or
homer: i'm not <i>not</i> licking toads..!
homer: i know what you're saying, bart. when i was young, i wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. well, goodnight.
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."
"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it."
"Homer no function beer well without"
Comic Book Guy: "No cutting, yes, you I'm talking to Mr Cutter...scuse me, coming through"
Professor Frink in the Pulp Fiction episode: "Proffesor Frink Proffesor Frink he'll make you laugh he'll make you think..with the...whatsits and the..damn those monkeys...."
Guess who.
No. 6: Hello, I am number 6, what is your number?
Homer: I am not a number, I am a human being! And..oh wiat, Im number 5. HAHA! In your face number 6!
No. 6: Yes, good show.
Evil German Homer lookalike: Isn't there a show on about an evil island or something?
Bart: You look different dad.
Evil German Homer lookalike: I am a new tie wearink.
And the Sideshow Bob/Cape Fear episode.
<i>Homer busts into barts room with a kinfe and yells real fast</i>
BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED!!??
<i>and afer a few seconds and some words (I forget the words) he busts back in</i>
BARTDOYOUWANTOTSEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK!!!??
And of course, the always classic one:
Homer: In every man there is a struggle of good and evil
<i>Homer thinks about himself in a devil costume, shaking maracas and dancing around a grave that says "RIP GOOD HOMER'</i>
I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!