Atms

TrevelyanTrevelyan Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14834Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Men VS women :p</div> I apologize in advance <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->

How to use an ATM machine

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Re-check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and put cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Re-check make-up again
20. Drive forward two metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided
24. Re-check make-up
25. Re-start stalled engine and move off
26. Drive for 3 - 4 miles
27. Release hand brake
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Comments

  • RPG_JssmfulhudRPG_Jssmfulhud Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4006Members
    Although this is somewhat insulting to women... It's still ROFL! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • TrevelyanTrevelyan Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14834Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--RPG_Jssmfulhud+Dec 3 2003, 08:18 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (RPG_Jssmfulhud @ Dec 3 2003, 08:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Although this is somewhat insulting to women... It's still ROFL! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I KNOW... <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->

    But it was funny... <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

    <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BigMadSteveBigMadSteve Join Date: 2003-02-12 Member: 13472Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--RPG_Jssmfulhud+Dec 4 2003, 01:18 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (RPG_Jssmfulhud @ Dec 4 2003, 01:18 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Although this is somewhat insulting to women... It's still ROFL! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    It's true to an extent though. My mum used to check her make up while driving <b>at the same time!</b>. Whenever we go to pay for the petrol she is always too far from the person that takes the money. Dead funny. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • DeronokDeronok Join Date: 2003-03-17 Member: 14613Members
    Dude.... my mom does almost EXACTLY that.... Even the car stalls and she calls my step-dad out there to help.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BuglerBugler Join Date: 2003-09-04 Member: 20561Members
    Why do women have boobs?

    Peter griffin says: So you have something to look at when you're talking to them ahahahahhahahaha

    hahahahaa
    ahahahaha
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • MulletMullet Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Members, Constellation
    edited December 2003
    My sister and mom do pretty much all of that.....You forgot one thing though. After they are done getting their money, they leave their card in the machine and forget about it until the next day. Then they get really pissy about everything cuz the bank takes 2 days to find it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->


    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Oh please...have a sense of humor.

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    Why do women have boobs?

    Peter griffin says: So you have something to look at when you're talking to them ahahahahhahahaha

    hahahahaa
    ahahahaha <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Uh oh...I can see people getting mad at this one already! <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • TrevelyanTrevelyan Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14834Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--esuna+Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Congratulations Captian obvious <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BurrBurr Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9358Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--esuna+Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Ahh, America, where you don't have to get out of your car to do anything!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RPG_JssmfulhudRPG_Jssmfulhud Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4006Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--Burr+Dec 4 2003, 03:34 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Burr @ Dec 4 2003, 03:34 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--esuna+Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Dec 3 2003, 08:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Ahh, America, where you don't have to get out of your car to do anything! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    HAX! <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--Mullet+Dec 4 2003, 01:28 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Mullet @ Dec 4 2003, 01:28 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> My sister and mom do pretty much all of that.....You forgot one thing though. After they are done getting their money, they leave their card in the machine and forget about it until the next day. Then they get really pissy about everything cuz the bank takes 2 days to find it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->


    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Oh please...have a sense of humor.

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    Why do women have boobs?

    Peter griffin says: So you have something to look at when you're talking to them ahahahahhahahaha

    hahahahaa
    ahahahaha <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Uh oh...I can see people getting mad at this one already! <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Well, if any of them were true, i'd agree with you, but neither my mother, my g/f, any of my past g/f's or any girls i know do any of those mentioned.

    I think the two catagories would be better split into "Normal people" (Obviously the former) and "People that find this joke funny / people who have an IQ in negative numbers".
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • GreyPawsGreyPaws Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8659Members
    I was gunna get all riled up but Esuna stole my thunder! <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> good show
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • SnidelySnidely Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13098Members
    Ha ha! Those crazy women, eh? They're not like men! They have boobs! And handbags! And are dizzy!

    ...Ugh. Judas might think he's got a bad deal in Hell, but he has no idea what punishment awaits those behind the "(fe)male routine" and "dumb blonde" "jokes".
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • ironpancakeironpancake Join Date: 2003-05-23 Member: 16643Members
    edited December 2003
    Im going to print this out and see how mad the girls i show get...

    [edit]
    ignore previousness
    [/edit]
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • MoquiaoMoquiao Join Date: 2003-05-09 Member: 16168Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--esuna+Dec 4 2003, 02:26 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Dec 4 2003, 02:26 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    so what does that make me esuna? you have known me an i in negative iq?


    ok i love this place but yall been getting very anal about some stupid ****....

    its a joke... yes its sexist omg?! its amusing.. not quite funny.. but it made me smile...

    jesus christ you would think he voted for hitler or somethin...

    LIGHTEN UP ITS SUPPOSED TO BE MOFO CHRISTMAS!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • TransmissionTransmission Join Date: 2003-03-12 Member: 14456Members
    Lighten up guys. <img src='http://cofrfps.com/modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BadKarmaBadKarma The Advanced Literature monsters burned my house and gave me a 7 Join Date: 2002-11-12 Member: 8260Members
    Some people dont think sexist jokes are funny, some dont think rasict jokes are funny, some dont think dead baby jokes are funny. I say **** off, theyre hilarious.
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  • BurrBurr Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9358Members
    Well, sometimes you can go too far....there is always a middle ground though.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • WindelkronWindelkron Join Date: 2002-04-11 Member: 419Members
    edited December 2003
    where's the part about revisiting the ATM 15 minutes later after spending all the money on clothes?


    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Some people dont think sexist jokes are funny, some dont think rasict jokes are funny, some dont think dead baby jokes are funny. I say **** off, theyre hilarious. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    you are my friend.
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  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    I smiled, sure it's sexist, but so are the women who believe all men should die for being sexist <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • MulletMullet Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--esuna+Dec 3 2003, 06:35 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Dec 3 2003, 06:35 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Mullet+Dec 4 2003, 01:28 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Mullet @ Dec 4 2003, 01:28 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> My sister and mom do pretty much all of that.....You forgot one thing though.  After they are done getting their money, they leave their card in the machine and forget about it until the next day.  Then they get really pissy about everything cuz the bank takes 2 days to find it  <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->


    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Not funny.
    2. Sexist.
    3. Not funny.
    4. Since when could you use ATM machines from your car.
    5. Sexist.
    6. Not funny. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Oh please...have a sense of humor.

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    Why do women have boobs?

    Peter griffin says: So you have something to look at when you're talking to them ahahahahhahahaha

    hahahahaa
    ahahahaha <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Uh oh...I can see people getting mad at this one already! <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Well, if any of them were true, i'd agree with you, but neither my mother, my g/f, any of my past g/f's or any girls i know do any of those mentioned.

    I think the two catagories would be better split into "Normal people" (Obviously the former) and "People that find this joke funny / people who have an IQ in negative numbers". <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    So your saying your normal? I laff. Apparently some people these days just can't lighten up.

    <i>It's a joke.</i>

    Definition of a joke : <i>Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.</i>
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  • pikeypikey Join Date: 2003-06-16 Member: 17406Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--BadKarma+Dec 3 2003, 10:17 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (BadKarma @ Dec 3 2003, 10:17 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Some people dont think sexist jokes are funny, some dont think rasict jokes are funny, some dont think dead baby jokes are funny. I say **** off, theyre hilarious. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    With the correct amount of drugs/alchohol, anything and everything is funny.
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  • NecroticNecrotic Big Girl&#39;s Blouse Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 53Members, NS1 Playtester
    Aside from the leary content in the first post for starters, you've all started playing "lets see how far we can get down each others throats using only our inate jumping skills" therefore we find this thread
    <span style='color:red'>***LOCKED***</span>
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