Rogue platoon

Venmoch

<div class="IPBDescription">Chapter 1 thirty seconds</div>Just want to post the first chapter in a piece I'm writing (based on NS of course) and get some feedback read it an see what you think and if you guys want I'll write and put up the next chapter!  <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->

The link is <a href="http://venmoch.clanpages.com/roguep1.htm" target="_blank">HERE</a> (I'm sorry it's very basic I can't do things with Frontpage&#33<!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo-->

sharpsword6

I'm pretty impressed I read the story and it's excellent. I;m not saying everyone else's story's sucked but for a newbie or sort of a newbie, that's a pretty god dam good story. You write more story's staying on topic, like more chapters or parts, so it's like a book sort of. <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->

Venmoch

Thanks very much. I have a second chapter that needs writing up so I'll put that up soon.

sharpsword6

Good I can't wait toread it, that was an excellent story. <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->

Sgt_X

One very minor nit picky thing. Don't call the aliens bugs. That was appropriate in StarShip Troopers but not for NS, the aliens are modeled more on mamals than insects and reptiles.

Venmoch

Sorry about the bugs thing I couldn't find any that fitted better! It doesn't matter because the commander is a very minor part (First 2 chapters)