Acts Of Gord

CronosCronos Join Date: 2002-10-18 Member: 1542Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Tales of Customer Stupidity</div> And Cronos came forth to the Off Topic Forums to Distribute a Funny.

And so, he did <a href='http://www.actsofgord.com/Annoy/chapter01.html' target='_blank'>Link</a> to a source of outrageous comedic truthfulness and tales of dastardly stupidity.

Smiling that his work was done, Cronos then consigned himself back into the shadows of pondering what tertiary studies he should take up, and smiled to watch the racous laughter cry forth from the Forums...

Comments

  • Bosnian_CowboyBosnian_Cowboy Join Date: 2003-06-07 Member: 17088Members, Constellation
    edited September 2003
    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Do you have any used PlayStations?"

    <i>"Not at the moment, only new ones are in stock."</i>

    "I'd like you to order a used one for me please."

    <i>"Well, it doesn't quite work that way. I can only order them in new."</i>

    "Just order me a used one. I don't want to pay for a new one."

    <i>"I'm serious here, I can't just phone up and order used ones as Sony doesn't sell used machines, and neither do suppliers."</i>

    "Yes they do!"

    <i>"No, no they don't. Trust me on this one, being that I'm the one here with the game store."</i>

    "If you don't order me a used one, I'm not going to buy one from you."

    <i>"If I don't order you something that I can't get, you won't buy it from me. Sure, sounds about right."</i>

    "Just order me a used PlayStation!"

    <i>"You're not keeping up on the conversation here, or am I just talking to myself?"</i><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    This one made me smile, the others bored me. It does remind me of the time I wrote down things one of my teachers last year said because they were so stupid. So stupidity doesn't surprise me.
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    Assuming these are real and not made up to make wif teh funneh: Fun. People should not be allowed to breed.
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    obviously these people are stupid enough to find themselves exempt from dawinism
  • Bosnian_CowboyBosnian_Cowboy Join Date: 2003-06-07 Member: 17088Members, Constellation
    These people Gord encounters puzzled me. But then I read this line:

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><i>"You do realize $30 US converts to more than $45 Canadian.  And on top of that, shipping from the states will cost more.  A lot more."</i><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    It all makes sense, they are from Canada!
  • GrimmGrimm Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15448Members
    Man, people are stupid...

    But I suppose without them, we wouldn't have such entertaining pages to read...
  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    I read these quite a while back when they made it into the <a href='http://www.b3ta.com/' target='_blank'>b3ta</a> newsletter. Great stuff, really funny, but for some reason, a cocky and witty gamer with the balls to say these things.......... there's something that just doesn't <b>fit</b> about that...
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--::esuna::+Sep 22 2003, 04:08 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (::esuna:: @ Sep 22 2003, 04:08 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I read these quite a while back when they made it into the <a href='http://www.b3ta.com/' target='_blank'>b3ta</a> newsletter. Great stuff, really funny, but for some reason, a cocky and witty gamer with the balls to say these things.......... there's something that just doesn't <b>fit</b> about that... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Wait a minute....there is such a thing as a witty gamer?

    Oooooooo Burn!
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    .........................ination!
  • enf0rcerenf0rcer intrigued... Join Date: 2003-03-16 Member: 14584Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->So there The Gord was, trapped talking to an idiot.  Ever resourceful, he came up with this...

    "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I subscribe to the theory of intellectual osmosis.  As such, I must now cease our conversation and move away from you before my intelligence begins to drop.  Good day."

    Then The Gord walked away.  The other customers in the store had a very good laugh and had to explain to the idiot what The Gord meant, and he was very ****.  I don't think he ever came back.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    ha.. i'll have to remember that one <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    Um... Why cant I Access the rest of the site?

    *feels Stupid*
  • CronosCronos Join Date: 2002-10-18 Member: 1542Members
    Theres a kind of compass to the side. Hit next chapter to access the next page...
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    Nub <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    no...i mean i get an internet explorer error everytime i click a button. I tried going to the main pag, but that didnt work either. NEED MORE GORD.
  • GadzukoGadzuko Join Date: 2002-12-26 Member: 11556Members, Constellation
    Book of Wrath, Chapter 3:

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Once upon a time, The Gord had a friend named Mike.  Tthis friend named Mike had been given a Gameshark.  Only this GameShark was not a normal Gameshark, it was evil and, possessed dark spirits within!

    It had a curious gift. This particular GameShark would blow out the PlayStation motherboard micro-fuses rendering the expansion port inoperable.

    At the time, no thought was given to harnessing this power for evil.

    A few months later a customer had brought in a GameShark that did not work. The Gord tested it, found it did not work and in fact blew our the micro-fuses like the Mike's GameShark did.

    This time, an evil idea was born!

    "I'll give you $5 for it."

    "Uhm...sure."

    The Gord buys the GameShark.

    Then The Gord left it on the counter begging to be stolen!  Far from the computer where The Gord completed his transactions, and conveniently hidden from his sight by a flyer folder.  Would-be thieves would count their lucky stars at how tempting this target was.

    Finally, a couple weeks later, it was stolen!

    The Gord was a happy Gord.  Not only would it not work, but it would blow out the expansion port of any machine it was plugged into.

    Over the next three weeks, The Gord went from fixing no expansion ports for customers ever to more than ten during that time.  The Gord's retribution was at hand, and the GameShark was doing its job well.  This exercise was very profitable for The Gord.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    That's my favorite.
  • NecroNecro &lt;insert non-birthday-related title here&gt; Join Date: 2002-08-09 Member: 1118Members
    ah gord is great <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
  • GadzukoGadzuko Join Date: 2002-12-26 Member: 11556Members, Constellation
    The site seems to have either gone down or become completely overloaded since last night. I can still view the pages I loaded then, but I can't get anything new.
  • CronosCronos Join Date: 2002-10-18 Member: 1542Members
    It seems to be working on my end, try giving it about 30 or so seconds to load since sometimes it can be a little slow on the load time...


    There are quite a few gems in there somewhere, I promise that <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
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