Beat A Speeding Ticket!
<div class="IPBDescription">Learn from this guy...</div> How To Beat A Speeding Ticket.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
Comments
Me: Ugh, not really. I must've hit the accelerator when I spilled my beer in my lap.
Copcifer: Heh, good one. Just be more careful next time.
<i><span style='font-size:7pt;line-height:100%'>Disclaimer: Dr_Shaggy doesn't condone drinking and driving</span></i>
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
How this exchange would really go.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right-
Officer: Got out of the car and get on the ground!
Driver: But-
Officer: I said now ****!
Driver: No, wait-ugh!
Officer proceeds to drag the driver out of the car and beat him into submission with his nighstick.
not bad not bad...
driver: I was not
Policeman: i think you'll find that you were sir, my speed decector right here says you were doing 60 mph and this is a 30 limit
driver: your dectector must be wrong then. i know how fast i was going, and i was only going 30
policeman: im sorry sir, but you were going 60 mph in a 30 limit. i'm going to have to write you a ticket
driver: and i will tear that ticket up and shove it down your trousers. i was not speeding
<i>at this point, the driver's wife leans over and talks to the cop</i>
wife: its no use arguing with him, he always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking
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OR
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driver: hey, you must have been going at least 127 to keep up with me!
also helps to role around in some dirt.
Silly fools.
But did he get a ticket, nooo
But did he get a ticket, nooo <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your logic is bulletproof... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
But did he get a ticket, nooo <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your logic is bulletproof... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
yeah, the cops gonna wanna bury the guy with his ticket
but what if we creamated him ... burn the ticket and spread it over the ocean ... or keep it in a pot an have a cat .... do that
But did he get a ticket, nooo <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Salty you > win.
But did he get a ticket, nooo <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your logic is bulletproof... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
But not crashproof <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->