"shock And Awe" Ticket Refunds

bubbleblowerbubbleblower Join Date: 2003-01-18 Member: 12452Members
edited March 2003 in Discussions
<div class="IPBDescription">Light-hearted rhetorical question</div> I've been watching loads of news coverage ever since the deadline passed for Iraq. I've mostly been watching streetlights gather moss. Furthermore, it sounds like there is a possibility that the Iraqi government might fold on its own, eliminating the need for a massive bombing campaign (within sight of the news cameras in Baghdad.)

What then? Regardless of where you stand on the philosophical issues, isn't everyone just as curious to see just what "shock and awe" was going to look like?

Humans schmumans. My shallow side is going to feel cheated if they don't do it- once the deadline passed I pretty much resigned myself to a war, and started watching and waiting for the spectacle.

If it becomes unnecessary to unleash the fireworks, should they go ahead and blow up an empty mock city so we can see? Don't we deserve something after all this waiting and talk? Or should we citizens of coalition countries get our money back?

Comments

  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    I think this deserves an award as meanest piece of satire I've read in a long time
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Very true. They should have hired some Japanese filmmakers or something, at least get a guy in a rubber lizard suit stomping around, kicking over the big crossed-swords statue thingy on a cheesy model of baghdad. This is like watching paint dry... I bet it really ticks off all the hippies standing around with placards to see the complete lack of smoke, fire, refugees, ummmm any action at all.

    ^_^
  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Mar 20 2003, 08:17 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Mar 20 2003, 08:17 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I bet it really ticks off all the hippies standing around with placards to see the complete lack of smoke, fire, refugees, ummmm any action at all.

    ^_^ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You know, in this special condition, I don't mind being ticked off at <i>all</i> <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • bubbleblowerbubbleblower Join Date: 2003-01-18 Member: 12452Members
    edited March 2003
    Maybe they need to pay more attention to ESPN and the sports broadcasting industry. They've already got their specially built studios and former stars (generals) doing play-by-plays. Norman Schwarzkopf and the others are kind of like Terry Bradshaw and company. Military wives waving goodbye at Naval bases fill the role of cheerleaders. Toby Keith is the half-time show. What's missing?

    I think they need to spend more time making individual soldiers into celebrities. Get us hooked on a small group that we're familiar with, and use them to try to sell us all kinds of crap. We'd watch some slo-mo replay of Duke Nukem, and then they'd cut to commericals where he'd charge into a melee battle but all the combatants, while appearing to be fighting, would be calmly discussing interest rates on their mortgages, just like managers and umpires.

    Oh, and right where that full moon is over Baghdad? How about a Budweiser blimp?

    *Yes, I KNOW this is in bad taste and will never amount to anything good.*
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    With the way that the 24-hour news hounds run things these days, I won't be surprised if the next war is:

    <b>CONFRONTATION YEMEN! (Sponsored by Mercedes-Benz)</b>
  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    That's 'Daimler-Chrysler'. They buy two governments at a time - handy, isn't it?
  • SaltySalty Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 6970Members
    It could be like real world except it is real and all over the world. Like they could do all those kewl camera things they do on mtv like zooming in on wierd random stuff while keeping the person talking on camera.

    Like they could have aim on a cloths line while a couple tanks roll buy fire artillery and stuff.
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    <!--QuoteBegin--Nemesis Zero+Mar 20 2003, 03:45 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Nemesis Zero @ Mar 20 2003, 03:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> That's 'Daimler-Chrysler'. They buy two governments at a time - handy, isn't it? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Erk, forgot about that. I'm still trying to keep images out of my head of Lee Iacoca dancing around a meadow of edelweis wearing a too-small set of leiderhosen.

    OOOm-pah, OOOm-pah, OOOm-pah...

    The pride is back... -_-
  • SaltySalty Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 6970Members
    edited March 2003
    This weekend see

    <span style='color:red'> <span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>\ll/ ShawK 'n AwE! \ll/</span> </span>

    hear songs such as Mother of all bombs above baghdad civic center.

    Tickets are 5 dollars with 3 dollars off for reporting where defectors families live.

    featuring Dixie Chicks.
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    There already is a 5min music video called "Bombs over Baghdad" the site I got it from is down now <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • SpoogeSpooge Thunderbolt missile in your cheerios Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 67Members
    I'd spend some time trying to come up with something witty to add but I'd rather just sit here and laugh my *** off.


    Good show! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • SaltySalty Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 6970Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--reasa+Mar 20 2003, 08:09 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (reasa @ Mar 20 2003, 08:09 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> There already is a 5min music video called "Bombs over Baghdad" the site I got it from is down now <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    i dont think i remeber anything in the music video about iraq though. Just alot of wimen bouncing up and down.
  • bubbleblowerbubbleblower Join Date: 2003-01-18 Member: 12452Members
    Yes, as time goes on I'm definitely getting more and more worried that there will be no need to follow through with the Shock-And-Awe. Who wants to go to a hockey game where both teams quietly agree that we're all winners, and just kind of slowly skate around chatting, or teaching their 3-yr-olds how to skate. The announcer puts in a classical CD and walks away...

    I was telling my other half today that my expectations for shock-and-awe are probably so built up from everything they've been saying, that no matter, what I'd be disappointed. Here's kind of what I was expecting:

    In the quiet, moonlit Baghdad night, a leering, grinning joker face suddenly appears on the clouds overlooking the city. Illuminated by massive searchlights hundreds of miles away, this ominous harbinger of unspeakable destruction fills the residents with hideous dread. Softly at first, then stronger and stronger, they hear the beat of drums, just like the orcs in the mines of Moria.
    DOOM -- DOOM -- DOOM -- DOOM -- DOOM

    Then, after what seems a silent eternity, their worst fears are confirmed- the light of the moon begins to be blotted out by the approaching black silhouettes of wave after wave of coalition aircraft. Hundreds of Apache gunships bring up the rear, tastelessly mimicking "Apocalypse Now" by blasting "Flight Of The Valkyries" at 180 decibels. In addition, the choppers are each towing a massive Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloon, representing the triumph of our way of life. Gigantic floating Uncle Sams, Grimace from McDonald's, maybe even a big Al Roker (before he lost weight.)

    Just when the residents of Baghdad believe the black tide of evil is about to devour them, the music and the drums stop completely, and the black swarm halts and maintains a circle, ringing the entire city. They just hover, silently. And then, faintly at first, a tiny new star appears in the heavens, and as it grows brighter, more appear beside it. Soon the sky is filled with thousands upon thousands of falling stars, shrieking and wailing as they draw close. Bombs and weapons of every kind imaginable rain down on the helpless city- earth-shaking explosions, massive fireballs, even completely spiteful and impractical weapons that resemble fireworks you pick up at Indian reservations- buzzbombs, sparklers, bouncing bettys.

    And then, when the bombs stop falling, and the survivors peek up from the rubble, they see the legions of ground forces surge over the hilltops like fireants, while the gunships open with their vulcan cannons...

    I'll stop there. As you can see, I'm bound to be disappointed- they need some more creative directors up there with the generals.
  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Join Date: 2003-02-07 Member: 13249Members
    Dang nab it guys, just write and draw up your own comic book of what you think would make the mundanely terrifying "hurry up and wait" pace of war more entertaining. I think I'll go play some games now... *hint hint*
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