(psst, it's about fire)
As I have examined these forums and the relations between people during games I have noticed an odd relation. I never like the people who are yelling n00b and always seem to be on the opposite side of whatever argument they are having. It's like every person who is yelling n00b fits perfectly into my definition of such. Odd.
But hey, lets all discuss the positive aspects of the n00b, mainly the creation of flame. Back in the dinosaur days we were just cowering in caves, drawing on walls, and generally just sitting around until the next time the Jetsons stopped by for a crossover episode. Easily the most annoying thing in existance was the fact that there was an ice age somewhere around there and boy was it cold. Sure, saber tooth tiger togas were all the rage, but the saber tooth tigers themselves got tired of being naked and instead decided to kill us. Can't you just see early man, cold, angry, and generally ready to kick some **** but unable to because our hands were squishy and pink. And then God (or any other diety of your choice) came along and lo was born the first n00b. He was a slight young man at the tender age of 12, and although none of the cave people would know it at the time, he resembled a young man in the Partrige Family. Now, these primative aunts and uncles of ours never called the boy a n00b. In fact, the new boy came up with the derogitory term in the first place (probably with the help of Satan [or any other opposite diety of your choice]). Sure he had just arived, but boy did he have all the answers. "If the tiger gives you lip, just slap him you f'n n00b." he would say. "Shut up about the cold and chip me some ice for my drink you stupid n00b." "YOU #@%$ *@#& little $#$% hole *(#$(*!!!! Give me your wife n00b!!!" These were just a few of the things the young man said. As you can imagine, this displeased the cold, dieing, hungry, and now hard of hearing because of the constant yelling cave individuales. So they tied him up.
This just prompted more yelling and since asprin had only just been invented and hadn't gotten shipped to the caves, the post-simian creatures had horrible headaches. One of the tribe leaders, lets call him Timmy, suddenly realized (based on the principal of "he who smelt it delt it") that the only n00b there was the new boy. Timmy began to chant "n00b, n00b, n00b..." while pointing at the rightly labeled n00b. As if called down from the heavens (or any other otherworldly place [this was before lightning was caused by clouds]) a bolt of, you guessed it, lightning struck the n00b and he was instantly engulfed in flame. There was no fear in the eyes of our neighbors from the past because they could all instantly see that this new gift had solved their biggest problem. It also made them warm and a true force in the world, but those were thought of much later. THey stood around the flaming n00b for the rest of the night, chanting his new name while all of the wild beasts of the night quaked in fear. And that young ones is the story of how the n00b brought flame into the world. Sleep tight.
PS Please flame the n00bs, for our forfathers.